Beautiful Disaster - first night out

[tall_brianna]

Many here have told me that I'm passable but, as many others have said, it's more than just a look thing.

I went out in public for my first time last night. I got read more times than I can count including a chuckle from a passing GG.

So I met two tgirl friends in the GLBT neighborhood last night. I've been out on drives and even left a convenience store worker in dismay, but in a public, well lit coffee shop is where the evening started. Actually, it started six blocks from the coffee shop where I had to park and walk down busy streets. I tried my best to not lumber down the street, chin up and eyes front. Part of it is maybe because I never made eye contact with anyone passing but I have excellent peripheral vision and some reactions were painful. Eyes forward... chin up.... Arrive at the coffee shop, a pretty mainstream place, and, yeah, everybody knew what we were. None of the three of us attempted a female voice all night. The two girls I met were way more experienced at this than me and eventually I just picked up on the fact that they didn't care. So, why not, "Let it go, let yourself go, slow and low..." I ordered a latte from the counter girl who was looking very cute and alternative. Stood up there and waited for it in a slightly concealed nervous panic all the while watching reactions of people coming in the door upon seeing me. Not good, at least I don't think - no looks of disgust but many WTF looks and, my favorite, the deer in headlights.

At about 10:30 we headed to Neighbors which is this great club here. It's a GLBT club (whatever that means) but it's so much fun and the house DJ is gifted. There were plenty of straight people there just to dance. We had so much fun. By this point it also occurred to me that, at least at the club, everyone knew and they didn't care. I think part of why I felt uncomfortable was that I way overdressed to avoid looking hoochie. I looked like I was heading into a board room instead of a night club. What's out of place in this picture? I'll post a pic in the gallery later.

Among the funniest moments was when this GG little barbie blond girl bounced by. Sitting on our side of the dance floor was us and this group of GGs (possibly lesbian) with two FTMs (or girls that really just like looking drab). When Barbie strolled past the whole row instantly got catty! It was the funniest thing I've seen.

I don't think I fooled anyone all night; some just may not have cared enough to notice. And no one said anything except a GG bartender at the club who told me I looked adorable. I think I might be a scary or, at least, intimidating figure male or female. It's hard being a giant among women but it's fun!

Thank you all for the encouragement,

-b

[ColleenCD]

Brianna,

I would consider this a success. You spent the evening learning and growing. The reaction of others may not have been entirely positive, but you lived through it and learned to relax. GOOD FOR YOU!

Colleen

[AmberTG]

Next time just wear your Amazon suit, at least they won't mess with you.

PS I always wanted a set of female warrior leather armor, like the stuff you see in "Heavy Metal" magazine.

[tekla west]

In reality, the world is not as bad as we often make it out to be.

[kerrianna]

Way to go - sounds like a lively time

I think even tall GG's get that double take look. Personally I find them fascinating because they do stand out amongst the other girls. I'm 6'1" and I haven't tried passing yet, but I know my height will be one of the WTF features. That and the goatee
OK, that I can shave. I won't be cutting my feet off tho'.

[trannie T]

I don't pass. I don't care. I still wear cool clothes and have a good time. Most people who see me smile {perchance they find me amusing.} I have never heard a negative comment about my dressing. I carry myself in a confident manner although inside I may be crumbling.

[Scotty]

Hey that's awesome!!!

At least you are in the big city over there and you can say "Who cares, they'll never see me again" - to those people that DO look at you funny.

I'll be over there with you very soon I'm sure!!! I'm scared already!!

Sounds fun though!!!

[MJ]

wow good for you Brie. that was awesome i wish i could have been there to see it oh well . the most important part is you went out and had fun girl it's about time .. now get out there and do it again soon... hugs mj

[Kimkandy]

PS I always wanted a set of female warrior leather armor, like the stuff you see in "Heavy Metal" magazine.

Or Xena Warrior Princess for that blend into the background look... Actually I'd love for the Amazon warrior look to catch on.

Kim

[Victoria Anne]

wonderful Brianna, I wish,I hope I will find the courage to go out someday,keep going out and have fun girl

[Carroll]

It's a GLBT club (whatever that means)

Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgendered

[Kimkandy]

Brianna

Sounds like you enjoyed yourself and had a good night. If you didn't pass most people didn't mind or care.

Are you going out again? Times they are a changin...

Thanks for sharing.

Kim

[Shannon CD]

WTG Brianna. As many times as I've been out in public, I still only go places where I can park close by so I can get in before anyone notices. I have never had the nerve to park as far away as you did...I'm impressed. Also, I can't believe you went into a mainstream coffe house. That is something I still hagen't gotten the nerve up to do.

[Joy Carter]

Brianna it was just first time out jitters. Look at me <<<<<<<< I've been out once and I passed ! Yeah right some guy said I look like somebody's mom. But Hun ya gotta believe in your self and not even hear what's being said. If what people said was a reason none of us would never make it out. So yeah chin up eyes strait ahead and the walk of pure confidence will serve you nicely.

[Sejd]

Hi Tall Brianna
you are doing it, that's all that matters. EVery time you are out, you learn something. good for you.
huggs
Sejd

[Kaitlyn Michele]

way to go brianna

sounds like a great time and your friends can help you alot..

you just have to decide what you really like to do and then DO IT!!...

glad you are getting out and having fun!

[Jillian310]

[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]It sounds to me that it was a good experience! Hey, I am nearly 70, pack a little(?) extra weight, and dress like a 14 year old! Certain meds I take require frequent trips to the loo. Soooo, when driving in transit to a destinatioin, I frequently have to go. I try to find single person restrooms, but ususally have a short skirt on and garters that show a little and I lean toward black fishnets. I try to pull the skirt down a little when walking to and from the loo, but as I said above, I like really short skirts! I get looks sometimes, but so what? Even with my long hair and pierced ears, a chubby 70 year old CD in a mini has to expect to be recognized. I believe that it is all in the attitude, and my attitude en femme is like my attitude en drab - - I dress to suit me, and I don't particularly care what any one else may think! Of course it is more comfortable to be in a CD friendly environment like the Blue Moon bar, but just being out en femme is a wonderful experience no matter what the circumstances are.

[paulaN]

way to go. My last time out in public in day light, I felt great and I did not care what other people thought. kinda like, hay world it's me. fun isn't it.

[Nena1]

Brianna I've seen your picture in the gallery and you look very convincing to me. If i walk the sidewalk and meet a beautiful woman in smart and stylish clothes i also turn my head and drop my chin. I'm pretty sure thats what happend for you, you look very girly and femmy, and then you are drawing the attention to you. There is pretty much difference between being a normal looking guy or being a tall and pretty woman on the sidewalk. Smile your pretty smile at people and think of all the reactions as positive.

[FOCD]

I am still waiting fore my first time out
Hope it comes soon

[S. Lisa Smith]

You were with two other tgurls. I've seen your picture and I have to guess that the two others were the reason you were clocked.