Plan B?????

[Jillian310]

This may be an unthinkable circumstance for those of us that are closeted, but by being secretive and in the closet it is an omnipresent possibility. That circumstance is having the secret revealed violently and simultaneously across our entire family, social, and professional spectrums. Depending on the mix within those various sectors, the fall-out could be shunning by the family including being exiled from the family home and the children, total loss of friends, and loss of employment, all happening at about the same time.

I recall reading threads here where the CDer revealed the secret to a SO on a confidential basis, only to have the SO react by spreading the word to others. Separation and/or divorce has resulted in some of those cases, and lord knows what other ramifications flowed from spreading the word.

Even in cases where the CDer has revealed the secret to the SO, and the SO has maintained the confidence, how would the SO react if the secret was wrenched from them by an outside circumstance and widely publicized as above?

In view of this, I wonder if anyone has given thought to and/or even done some preliminary planning for an unthinkable Plan B, which could be as drastic as starting over from scratch without a single support system or means of making a living.

[suzy]

Gulp!! What a horrible thought!

I have confided in my wife and we both share the CD experience. If she were to betray that confidence and blab it to family and friends, that would be the end of our relationship.

Plan B would be to pick myself up, and grab my things and walk on in search of a new life.

I have thought about that before and at first my instinct was to deny it, but I don't believe that would work. I'd have to admit my CDing and then start a new life, but this time without hiding who I am.

[Tina Dixon]

Plan B? Gads I don't even have a plan A, day to day for this gal.

[anilparmar]

Whenever I urge my wife to CD, she does it and laughs over me. However, one afternoon, suddenly after doing me CD, when somebody from outside knocked the door, she opened it. I had to rush inside and felt very shy.

[Chloe Renee]

Last year I would have denied till I died and or hide. Now however after much discussion with the wife, I would fess up and move on. I actually have lurked on this site for months not signing up for fear of being outed. I recently stopped caring about that. My life would change for certain, Work and hockey would become different. The fact I work with my dad would be truly hard. I may lose some to most of my male friends. Most of my female friends would support me, that I'm thankful of.I really don't have much concern about my neighbors opinions. But I guess finding a new job would be a must other than that it would make it easier,not having to scramble to hide stash

[Josie06]

In the closet just like you. I don't have a Plan A let alone a Plan B. But yes I have and still do think about putting it all out there and risking it all just to be who I am. I would follow through and make my change permanent with surgery and live my life as a woman.

I've never spoke with anyone one this, friends or counselor let alone family.

Right now ... here I am. My little start.

[JeanneF]

I've thought a lot about this. I don't think that my career would be destroyed by a revelation of this, in fact, it could potentially be a positive in that it would open up a whole different market of clientele (the gay/lesbian community) which I currently am not really in the position to actively market to.

Most likely, if it came down to it, I'd probably go to law school and work for a non-profit that focuses on Gender Politics, maybe as a lobbyist. I would really like to get involved in the political side of being transgendered, but right now that's not an option without coming out of the closet.

[Kimkandy]

I have a Plan 9 from Outer Space... it's on strictly hush hush need to know more basis... marked top secret only open in the event of the end of the world...

Not in a relationship free to do as I please.

Kim

[ubokvt]

If I were outed to everyone, more appropiatly when it happens. Hopefully I'll be comfortable with who I am, but my plan is to stand tall and proud in my heels and endure it like a MAN I won't run from life or who I am. I've hidden too long. I'll deal with what comes to me when it comes to me. Its not my job to adjust its theirs.

[Karren H]

I thought Plan B was where they use the taxpayers money to build two new stadiums over the objection of all the people that that voted Plan A down??

You closeted? Hehehe Big ass closet!!

And speaking as a highly organized engineer....NO!! I'll deal with that if and when it happends! Wing it!! Baffle em with BS!!

Love Karren

[Jessica1]

I know for me this need to express this part of me has gradually usurped my desire to keep it, literally and figuratively speaking, "in the closet." That said, I do have a terrific SO who talks openly with me about my femme side and she wants to find out more about (and do activities with) Jessica.

My SO and I both live quite a distance from family and because we both work in a freelance capacity we don't have to worry about having a single employer situation. So really no need for worry about exposure, to be honest.

Obviously there must eventually be a compromise between one's need for femme expression and all of the other life obligations that one has (family / life / work / etc). The only thing I know for sure is that to clamp down completely on one's need to x-dress can lead to much greater problems later on ....

[DonnaT]

Plan B would be to say: "So what? What I do is none of your affair!"

[Kelly,R]

For me to be outed would be horrific,I work in the construction trades.I'm around roofers,plummers,carpenters etc;I would have to move most defently.Either that or be prepared to fight everyday,because of the ridicule and leud behave that would follow.Most hetro-men assume cd'ers are gay,and they would mouth off with gay jokes and(will you dress for us dude)So no I would have to move and start over.But I would'nt let it happen again,If I moved to another location I would be more open to who and what I am.If people no from the start that you are not gay you just like to cd,I think they would accept it more.They may not relate to it or even like it but they would know and so it would not suprise them,so your only new friends would be ones that totaly accept it or are at least comfortable around you.

[Wendy me]

you know with all the things going on in the world i would like to believe that people would not get too freaky over something like this .... surly in each of our city's and towns people have done a lot worse things than dress in woman's clouthing....

[Scotty]

Plan B would be to just drive on.

Now, if I lost my job, I'd have to go to a new employer, but even as TG I don't think that would be a problem, especially in Seattle.

But I think part of my family would be understanding, the other part NOT. There would be loss, and potentially legal circumstances (Custody etc)...

I prefer to just stay in the closet, it's harmless for now and when I DO get out - well I doubt anyone will recognize me...