Commiseration?

[hiprule]

This is something I've been thinking about. I imagine some of you can relate, commiserate, and others of you might become irate.

In the course of my education, and independent critical thought, I've skewered gender as a ruse, a straitjacket that oftens masks domination. Liberating yourself from gender, it seemed, was independent, brave, moral, and progressive. I say progressive because I thought that the end of gender would mean the beginning of equality. I admired women who went without make-up, debated, behaved non-gendered-ly, or at least, atypically for their sex. I don't say that I was attracted to them, some yes, some no. I found myself still attracted to the gender of female (and is that all I'm attracted to if I'm attracted to a crossdresser?). But, as a crossdresser I love being the female gender, the conservative, traditional, feminine gender. My crossdressing is uncritical, if you will. That sort of troubles me, or fascinates me, maybe. I want to be new, not old.

Am I mixing the genders (that sounds cool), or am I being extremely conservative regarding gender?

anyway, yeah, if anything strikes you, I'd love to talk...

[Ashley Helen]

Sorry but I haven't got past 'skewered'. Sounds painful to me!

Love

Helen xx

[Karren H]

Sounds like a quandary to me!!! Like two idiologies trapped in the same body!! Wanting to emulate the feminine gender yet admiring females that become genderless??

I think you'd really like my wife. She's got genderless down pat!! Hehe

Love Karren

[ubokvt]

Sandy Stone, visit her web site sees gender as a prefomance piece. Wear the right costume, say the right lines, perform the right behaviors and your that gender. You can be any gender based on your perfomance. But the person underneath doesn't change. Maybe you see wpmen as more complete less restrained individuals with better lines. Maybe you emulate them to escape your role and become more complete.

[Kate Simmons]

What you said went over my head, Hon. That's okay though. I love it when people speak French to me. Ericka/Rich

[Tina Dixon]

What you said went over my head, Hon. That's okay though. I love it when people speak French to me. Ericka/Rich

I'm 6'3" and it went over my head also

[sterling12]

Dear Hip:

Your so erudite! Is it true, all those things they say about Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley?

Actually, I would consider the idea that you are talking about two different persona's. So what if you have not "melded" your male and female personalities. They will get over it!

If your gal side wants to be girly/girl that's perfectly OK. Keeps a lot of people who sell on Ebay in business. If your guy side likes liberated, modern women. That's OK too! Just make sure they shave their pits.....most of us will never be THAT liberated!

Not worthwhile to consider a conundrum. Lets start a new thread about color preference for garterbelts!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[trannie T]

Interesting thread. You are equating gender roles with dominent behavior. While the male role has traditionally been the dominent in most societies the tendency in western societies has been to a more balanced model.
Crossdressing complicates the issue. Do you dress as a hooker, a maid, or in another servant oriented role or are you the female business executive?
My point is that you can be dominent or subservient in either gender. The gender and the role are your choice.

[Calliope]

Hey Hiprule, I understand what you're saying, don't be intimidated by any of the flip remarks (that carry the subtext: 'philosophy is unfemme'). You might try the topic on the TS forum, btw. I also supported the classic feminist lines and, largely, still do. A lot of GGs grapple with the issue (especially as they enter motherhood). As I see it, a lot of CDs are seduced by the 1950s femme ideal simply because of the biological limitations they face. Consider also how tough today's T-shirt and jeans aesthetic is on GGs without model bods. Nevertheless, that GGs want the right to dress - and behave - as they wish without being trapped in any gender boxes is a cause we all should endorse simply because self-actualization and liberation benefits everyone. So I support women's lib for women, CDs and whoever else ya got. Right on for you, you're on the right track as far as I'm concerned.

[GG Vanya]

Dear Hip:

Your so erudite! Is it true, all those things they say about Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley?

Actually, I would consider the idea that you are talking about two different persona's. So what if you have not "melded" your male and female personalities. They will get over it!

If your gal side wants to be girly/girl that's perfectly OK. Keeps a lot of people who sell on Ebay in business. If your guy side likes liberated, modern women. That's OK too! Just make sure they shave their pits.....most of us will never be THAT liberated!

Not worthwhile to consider a conundrum. Lets start a new thread about color preference for garterbelts!

Peace and Love, Joanie

This is an odd comment, coming from a member of a community that wants women to be liberated enough to accept that their men DO shave their pits????

[sterling12]

OK, apologies to Vanya and anyone else who might have been offended with my flippant comment.

Much like John Keary, I was trying to be funny and it probably seemed offensive to some of you.

Yes, I do shave my armpits and would do that whether I was CD or not. The hair in the underarm areas gets moist and is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria. As those bacteria die off, the decompose and this creates the odor.

If you are hairy, it only helps in retaining more of the odor. And before anyone says something; if you bath regularly or not, it's still a problem. I live in Florida, we walk outside for one minute in the summertime, and start to sweat.

Aesthetically, and from a standpoint of hygiene, it's probably a worthwhile idea for any person, whether liberated or not.

But I digress....sorry to have offended anyone.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[hiprule]

So good, thanks for the responses.

When I play female, I don't dress in submissive costumes, maid, prostitute, etc. I think those who do are often playing with submissive sexuality, and it's more about that than about gender. The female attire creates a heightened feeling a submission, but it's ultimately about submission. That doesn't seem troubling, politically-speaking. That is, it's just sub-dom play and not about human identity as it is lived by women.

Thing is, I'm not like that (I assume that some are). I'm not first and foremost a sub. I feel submissive when dressed, but it's about the feminine gender, the ideal of a woman, not about submission. It's not as if I'm just submissive sexually, and female clothing serves as a conduit for my sexual submission. If anything, submission heightens the feeling of being feminine, and that's what troubles me. It's almost as if my crossdressing is my repressed sexist expressing himself. You know? That's scary. And the thing is, I feel on the other hand that my crossdressing is very liberating, is about experimenting and actually works with a theory of equality of sexes and differences in gender. That is, my crossdressing says that gender is something that we can and should move in and out of, and shape and shift. Some genders (1950 woman, for example) are repressive, unequal and unfair, and inhumane when actually existing in society, so apeing them is only play, and may actually be critical. Yeah, I think that's how I feel.

I feel better now.

[GG Vanya]

OK, apologies to Vanya and anyone else who might have been offended with my flippant comment.

Much like John Keary, I was trying to be funny and it probably seemed offensive to some of you.

Yes, I do shave my armpits and would do that whether I was CD or not. The hair in the underarm areas gets moist and is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria. As those bacteria die off, the decompose and this creates the odor.

If you are hairy, it only helps in retaining more of the odor. And before anyone says something; if you bath regularly or not, it's still a problem. I live in Florida, we walk outside for one minute in the summertime, and start to sweat.

Aesthetically, and from a standpoint of hygiene, it's probably a worthwhile idea for any person, whether liberated or not.

But I digress....sorry to have offended anyone.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Joanie, I wasn't offended per se. I just thought it was an odd comment, considering the source.

I agree with your views on shaving the pits even if not TG/CD/TS/TV et al. I lived in FL for quite a few years, and know exactly what you're talking about.
Oddly enough, shaving her pits was the one thing Trudi wanted to be *sure* I was OK with. I gave her the very same reasons for doing so that you state.

Again, I'm not offended, perhaps slightly amused is all.