This is something I've been thinking about. I imagine some of you can relate, commiserate, and others of you might become irate.
In the course of my education, and independent critical thought, I've skewered gender as a ruse, a straitjacket that oftens masks domination. Liberating yourself from gender, it seemed, was independent, brave, moral, and progressive. I say progressive because I thought that the end of gender would mean the beginning of equality. I admired women who went without make-up, debated, behaved non-gendered-ly, or at least, atypically for their sex. I don't say that I was attracted to them, some yes, some no. I found myself still attracted to the gender of female (and is that all I'm attracted to if I'm attracted to a crossdresser?). But, as a crossdresser I love being the female gender, the conservative, traditional, feminine gender. My crossdressing is uncritical, if you will. That sort of troubles me, or fascinates me, maybe. I want to be new, not old.
Am I mixing the genders (that sounds cool), or am I being extremely conservative regarding gender?
anyway, yeah, if anything strikes you, I'd love to talk...