Outting the wife

[bobby_hansen]

Hmm.... I think you're a bit wrong there. Mens clothes are made differently, they are shaped different..... Take a mans suit, the leg cut is totally different to a womans cut, same with the jacket, the shoulders are broader....

*gets the violins out*

Umm, yeah, except they don't make male skirts for sale at Younkers, Kohls, Von Maur, Dillards, etc... They do make women's suits though. Yes, they are cut different, but what male clothing is exclusively for their gender (and not an undergarment)? I can think of two in the women's world - skirts and dresses.

[great gg]

Unless the husband is a ts or wants to go full time, they are not losing the male at all. Instead they gain a male who now wants to openly express his feminine side on occasion instead of hiding it and being an incomplete person. The loss is only the SOs perception not the reality, as the male is still there. Its kinda like the glass half empty or half full outlook. It is the SOs negativity towards crossdressing that makes her view the new situation as a loss.

When you daughter gets married, have you lost her or have you gained a son-in-law?

Well, it kind of depends on whether the son in law is going to remain a son in law or suddenly tell my daughter that he is a she. then i would have a daughter in law. you are right in the fact that they don't lose a male, but they lose the illlusion that the male gave them whhen they first married, if the male did not disclose those proclivities. so , dont' tell me you would feel enhanced if your female so suddently decided that she was ftm after 20 + years of marriage and wanted you to love her and let her make love to yous though she were the male. My point is taht loss is loss is loss. andnot to accept that the loss of an illusion is painful is bull***. I happen to be a 100% supportive of my so, but he/she was totally open and understaneding on how hard it was for me to suddenly accept him as a cd after 26 years of marriage. that has made all the difference.

[Angie G]

I'm not going there hun
Angie

[JennaKnots]

Well, it kind of depends on whether the son in law is going to remain a son in law or suddenly tell my daughter that he is a she. then i would have a daughter in law. you are right in the fact that they don't lose a male, but they lose the illlusion that the male gave them whhen they first married, if the male did not disclose those proclivities. so , dont' tell me you would feel enhanced if your female so suddently decided that she was ftm after 20 + years of marriage and wanted you to love her and let her make love to yous though she were the male. My point is taht loss is loss is loss. andnot to accept that the loss of an illusion is painful is bull***. I happen to be a 100% supportive of my so, but he/she was totally open and understaneding on how hard it was for me to suddenly accept him as a cd after 26 years of marriage. that has made all the difference.

What do you think, and anyone else who cares to chime in, of a case where the spouse does know all along, but only expresses genuine dismay long after the fact?

As I said in my subject line, I'm not asking this to be antagonistic, I'd genuinely like to know what people think. I acted this out with my wife a few times within the first month of our dating. She wasn't totally "into" it, but she wasn't appalled, either. She was basically fine with doing it with me once in awhile.

Over time it she liked it less and less, and now after 12 years, she'll tolerate me doing it on my own, but clearly would prefer if it didn't exist at all, and is pretty freaked out about it.

I'm not saying she's not entitled to change/develop new feelings around something, but I do feel kind of hurt and a bit frustrated about it. I don't go out in public dressed, none of her friends or family know, I have no plans in becoming an actual woman, and I haven't spent much time in the 12 years we've been together really pursuing cd'ing.

I think it's a bit unfair. She's a great woman and she's doing her best (as am I), but I'm kinda pissed. I mean, if it's ok for a GG to be angry if she suddenly finds out her husband is a CD, then I think it's reasonable for me to be angry to find out that part of who I am (and have been open about from the get-go) is really not ok with her.

What do other's think?