First let me apoligize for a lenghty post but I just have to get it all out. Secondly let me say that I love my wife dearly and it would devistate me to lose her. I have been a member of this forum for several months now and am an avid reader. It appears there are many accepting or at least tolerate GGs on the forum. This is absolutely not the case with my wife. She has known about my CD activities for many years but she absolutely does not approve. In fact she hates to even think about it.
I have tried to be honest with her and tried to convey my feelings but she either does not want to hear it or I am not able to verbalize the fact that I can't control the desires to dress. Each time she discovers some aspect of my dressing, she becomes extremely upset and insists that I am a some type of pervert with non christian values. I become very depressed because I have upset her but I cannot promise that I will not dress again because I know that I have been through too many purging cycles only to find myself replinishing my clothes and makeup. She often expresses her feelings that if I knew of my desire prior to our marriage (and I did) that I should not have married her. Maybe she is right, I do not know.
I am currently in the twilight years of my life and I have to make a decision whether to fullfill my lifelong desires or continue to suppress them in order to maintain my cherished marriage. I would absolutely love for her to participate in my dressing but I know that will never happen. No she has never seen me dressed nor would I ask her to. I realize that I sound selfish therefore any advice would be very much appreciated.
Thank You in advance for any comments
Danielle2