probing women on cd issues

[Stephacuse]

how do you safely go about asking a woman what she thinks about crossdressing or find out if she's ok about it without directly asking her to make her assume you are a crossdresser

[Calliope]

What someone thinks about crossdressing in general and what someone thinks about you crossdressing may be two very different things. If ya want the truth, ya gotta tell the truth (in many, but not all, instances).

[chantelle]

Speaking from someone who knows what it feels to be on the receiving end of good news and bad news after you asked that question, i would say that every situation is going to be different.
Say for example you want to tell you so , then broaching it slowly or watching a crossdressing film like transamerica would give you a reaction to her opion. On the other hand you can say that most woman are uncomfortable with us around, seeing that they dont understand our need to crossdress.
Be weary in the way that you go about it, there is no how to book to do it. Simply said its one of those topics that you cannot approach head on, even the shock treatment where you are wearing a gorgeous outfit, and then telling the woman ,wont work. Ask anyone that has tried.
If you want honest opinion from that person, be it a friend, then just ask what they think. If you ask this of someone you dont like, then i ask "what is the point. You dont care about them"

Hugs and kisses
Chantelle is back.

[Sedona]

What someone thinks about crossdressing in general and what someone thinks about you crossdressing may be two very different things. If ya want the truth, ya gotta tell the truth (in many, but not all, instances).

Yes, I agree very much. Several years ago, I ended up dumping a couple of girlfriends because I'd done the probing thing and gotten responses like, "men who want to do that are weirdos." Well, I'm a little older and wiser, and while I got the standard "That's weird and perverted" reply from my current (and permanent) SO, I stuck it out, eventually coming out to her. She's fairly accepting today (maybe a 6 out of 10), even though she's one of the most conservative women I've been with.

I think that very, and I mean very, few women would say something like, "hey, now that you mention it, a guy in a slip and heels is pretty sexy!"

Just to pound it into the ground some more, don't stress too much about your questioning (try watching the flick Ed Wood to get the party started). Or, bring up the TG character on that soap opera, All My Children (I think).

Best,

[Joy Carter]

Just think manly thoughts like sports, cars that cute dress in the mall you saw as you walk arm and arm with her past that shop window.

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, I speak to them on several issues. I seem to have a rapport with women as I really treat them as people whose opinions matter to me. They readily talk about things with me with confidence and know that Richard is just a little bit different than most guys. While I don't openly advertise Ericka, if someday the truth did come out to my female freinds, I have this cartoon picture of the "lightbulb" being snapped on and them saying:"Oh, okay, now I get it." and I doubt if it would be a very big deal. Once you share yourself with someone and vice versa, what kind of clothes you like to wear makes very little difference as they know the real person inside. Ericka/Rich

[Jesse69]

Ask her what she thought about Dennis Rodman !?

[Sheila]

Actually asking anybody about what they thinks about crossdressing and asking how they would feel about being involved with a crossdresser are two different things.
We are all able to say how we would feel about various situations if they did not really effect us in our daily life, living with them can be a different matter so I suppose it depends on whether you are asking how do you tell a friend as opposed to a partner or prospective partner

Jess

[ggconfused]

I agree with Jess. As a gg who was just confronted with the situation, I can say that my feelings are in complete contrast now from how they were when I didn't have an investment in the relationship (or infant relationship, as it is). When we were just talking, I shared my sexual indiscretions with him and felt that he was sharing his. I accepted him for who he is and enjoyed talking and spending time with him. His desire to wear women's clothing (I am still unaware of the extent), is his own personal desire, just as mine is to wear certain types of panties over others. However, when my feelings started developing beyond a friendship, the crossdressing became an issue, not a bad one, just an issue. It was no longer something that I could explain as a personal fetish, but it is now a very clear and obvious presence in our relationship. We have yet to seriously discuss it, and I am planning on that happening soon. The point is, just prodding with the subject is not going to get you the answers you are looking for, good or bad. My guess is, when he first told me and I was so accepting and openminded about it, his feelings for me were very different than mine in return. In his mind, he met a girl who is open and willing as to his desires. In my mind, he was just a friend. Please take this with a grain of salt as I, too, am really trying to find my way here. It's certainly not easy and although at some point I know it will get easier, right now it seems to be getting more and more complicated and overwhelming as the time passes.

Good luck with whatever you choose. And, from someone going through it right now, I also with your partner luck.

[princessmichelle]

Hi,

I recently told a close gg friend, who I've known for about ten years. Interestingly, she said that she wasn't very surprised.

"Princess" Michelle

[vbcdgrl]

No matter how you approach it, she's gonna wonder why you brought the subject up, and she's gonna be thinking "is he a crossdresser?"

Vikki

[princessmichelle]

PS: As to _how_ to tell if a gg is likely to be supportive without actually asking?

I wish I knew.

I tried: I knew that we had been friends for ten years and I could guess that she probably wouldn't be upset about it. She's demonstrated over the years that she values my friendship, I knew she has gay friends (which isn't the same, but if she'd be homophobic I'd be scared), I've seen her show empathy to people who are suffering.

But knowing all this was like wearing a seatbelt: it didn't guarantee that you wont get hurt in an accident, they just improve your odds: some people are very nice otherwise but have a blind spot about crossdressing etc.

So when I told my friend I was still terrified that she would end our years of friendship over it. Luckily she reacted positively. But I don't know how to predict it.

pm

[Marla S]

... without directly asking her to make her assume you are a crossdresser

This won't work !!!
99% of 'straight' men usually don't know what Cding really means. If they know, they'd probably not mention it, just in order not to make her assume that they are gay or a CD.

I'd give some visible hints with my clothing style (one or some fem items), but wouldn't start the conversation about it.
If she is interested, she start the conversation.