Bad Reputation ? A question fo the FTMs, MTFs, and GGs

[Marla S]

Can't get a grip on it.

What precisely is it that causes our negative reputation in public ?

Any ideas ?

[Jesse69]

They think we're all gay or sexual perverts. And then my brother told me those who crossdress are like those serial murderers - they have real mental problems.

It's hard being a "straight" crossdresser because society hates us and often people don't want to be friends with ut.

[Bernadina]

Organized religion hasn't been very kind to us.

[Kimberley]

Wow, that is a loaded question Marla. I think to sum it up in a word that would have to be fear, fear of the unknown. We make people uncomfortable because they dont understand the difference between sexuality and gender so they are "repulsed" by us. Maybe they question their own sexuality, I dont know. Anyway, that carries on to a host of other reactions that go from "whatever" to violence.

I think that the myth was well established with the flaming drag queens. They were and are flambouyant and so when most people think of crossdressing they think of the drag queen first and that becomes the gold standard for them.

Society with all its bigotry find it very easy to center out those who are different so we are at the least marginalized but more likely discriminated against because we are "easy" targets.

Just my worth

Kimberley

[Leslie Foxx]

It is a fairly common reaction for people to hate and fear what they don't understand. We tend to be painted with a broad brush into the "gay, mentally derailed, narcisists, serial killers(OMG!)" category. It is their loss.

I must go dispose of the bodies now.

[Diana West]

Crossdressing (in some regions) is considered a threat to masculinity.
Asking why is like asking why is playing sports masculine?

Where I live sports are a big deal. Too big a deal. It is nothing for some parents to force their son to play sports. In some families, the girl is forbidden to play sports. Because sports is a guy thing.
It's almost like they're trying to prove that they are men.

It is a mindset. One that cannot be challenged. I know too many of these men who are obsessed with being a man to enjoy life. They are too concerned with what society is telling them to do.
Many of these men are dying too because of the stress they feel to maintain their masculine identity.

[melissaabom]

Hello

Let me try ...and give my comment !
It seems that some wanna be crossdressers ..try to mock the art of
crossdressers .

Let me give some example .... hairy bodies , terrible make up ..terrible clothing that does not match and just an over uglyness toward the femm
mystique .

Melissa ( lifelong Cd girl )

[CaptLex]

I'm with Kimberley . . . people fear what they don't understand and they don't understand what they themselves don't feel. If it's not something they themselves don't experience, there must be something wrong with it. Not to mention all the messages from parents and peers growing up, and the way the media mostly makes us look like deviants and nuts.

So many people have told me they've never met another like me before after I told them I'm trans. I always answer with, "that you know of" and explain that we're not the freaks they've seen on Jerry Springer. Then I bring the point home that they would never have known about me if I hadn't told them. I love opening people's eyes like that.

P.S. Thanks for including all in your question, Marla.

[gennee]

[SIZE="3"]I agree with all the comments on why we're hated. The medical and psychiatry professions didn't do us any justice, either.

Gennee [/SIZE]

[crossing-the-rain]

Partly because of misunderstand, misconception, miscellany, misdirect, misguided,misjudgement.....
Rain.

[Bethanygirl]

I believe that we just make them think about their own sexuality, and most people do not wish to be forced into any kind of introspection. At least four-fifths of everyone I have ever met run on their social programming, and do NOT want to have to deeply consider life issues be it spirituality/religon, prejudices/intolerances, or sexuality/orientation. They wish to glide through life in the groove that has been laid down for them and are willing to accept the shallowness of their lives for the security that it gives them.

[Shelly Preston]

Some have a negative reaction to things they dont understand

Others have decided that its not right and nothing will change their mind

Comments I have heard recently "them gays should all be shot" & "crossdressers dont know what they are"

Its very hard to change the mind of people with this type of attitude as most are not prepared to listen.

We can only hope they at least will adopt live and let live attitude

Recenty changes in the media are helping but it will be a long process and hopefully it will get better in the future

[Calliope]

The main issue, I believe, is male homophobia.

The song 'Lola' depicts the fear of a straight male momentarily attracted to a TG, then discovering the deception. Only a swift (often violent) repudiation of the attraction will 'save' the straight identity. Recall Cronenberg's movie M Butterfly, as well - plus many other popkult examples.

That's why I always caution CDs who sport the sexy look and then turn passing into a sport.

[Sheila]

I posted the quote below to a similer question posed in another part of the forum hope it helps

I may be way of base here but I don't think that they see it as a threat to gender, but more that anybody doing something outside the "norm" actually causes each of us to look deep within ourselves and it may be that we do not like what we see ---------- we believe ourselves to be tolerant caring human beings but being faced with it (whatever it is) on a daily basis, makes some of us realise how intolerant we really are deep down -------- does that make any sort of weird sense ------ and so we don't feel good about ourselves and ergo the blame for that has to go to somebody else !!!!!!!!!

Jess

[Kate Simmons]

All the foregoing are good points and I'm glad Marla started this thread. We not only have to see how others view us but see how we view ourselves. It seems that in a lot of ways we see ourselves as innocent victims of bigotry and violence and things like that. Most of the reactions by others come about by misconception, misunderstanding, and misinformation (the media). If we are to have any kind of empowerment, we need not only to debunk our own myths but the overall myths generated by a public that is basically "clueless". Bringing our own fears out in the open shows what we are up against. We are generally good and positive people. We obey laws, we pay our taxes and even defend our country when called for. This is the kind of stuff that needs to be highlighted that we are good upstanding citizens who really aren't out to influence any one else's sexual preference or change the world according to our image. We just want the freedom to be who we really are and be able to express that. Asking ourselves what we want and how to get it are the first steps as are recognizing what barriers we are up against. The next step is to change the image people have of us in a way that is positive. Ericka Kay

[ronnie06]

there are many good sound answers here already.
in my eyes,...

social mores!

the so called social morality refuses to recognize many things....
but it IS s l o w l y ..............coming around to our side.

give it time hun.

our day is close at hand!

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

its strange, but its really "fear" with people i think have u noticed, that if your in the street,out shopping, and you see someone who is disabled,or has some sort of "other" disability, people either try to avoid them, walk round them, or make terrible unprofound comments. simply because they are scarred/embarrassed with what they see, and dont understand ! iam sorry to say ive done it in past yet when you see c/d on telly, pantomines, etc, no-one bats a eyelid do they its "acceptable". yet if you said you knew someone whom c/d there would be a hue'cry the world tries to make evryone "politcaly correct", yet they are way way off mark with lots of things sadly acceptance is hard, tolarance is unthinkable

[melissaK]

Hmmm. Is it fear of the inexplicable? I mean who "knows" why we are as we are?

I think its cultural conditioning myself. We constitute an assault on one of the earliest pieces of knowledge we impart to our kids - the difference between girls and boys. Undo that "learned" fact and you upset a lot people's apple carts.

In Arlen Lev's book "Transgeder Emergence" he has a nice chapter on the anthropologic aspects of TG's in past and distant cultures (the Rule of WASP's has not been universal across our planet in time or geography). Some present and past cultures seem to ahve accomodated TG folks. They raise(ed) their kids to believe that there are more than two categories of people, and they grow up OK with the idea of say men living as women.

So to avoid creating more of the intolerant bigots DayTripper warns of, we need to raise our own kids to accept decent people like us without bias or prejudice.

[TxKimberly]

Can't get a grip on it.

What precisely is it that causes our negative reputation in public ?

Any ideas ?

I'll add one more reason that I did not see posted here. Some men actually believe that we do this to try and "Fool" straight men into having a relationship with us.
Kim

[Krystenw]

I gott agree pretty much with what has been said.
Have any of you seen the new Dish Network comercial. It is about some big Burly fellow trying to get his bra fastened behind his back and they come off with something about not having to worry about what you have on because you can stay at home and watch Pay-for-View then they show him sitting back in high heels watching TV.

[MsJanessa]

They think we're all gay or sexual perverts. And then my brother told me those who crossdress are like those serial murderers - they have real mental problems.

It's hard being a "straight" crossdresser because society hates us and often people don't want to be friends with ut.

And what if you are not a "straight" crossdresser but a gay one? These days homosexuals are much more main stream and more accepted in society at large then CDs regardless of their orientation.

[Rebeca]

And what if you are not a "straight" crossdresser but a gay one? These days homosexuals are much more main stream and more accepted in society at large then CDs regardless of their orientation.

I think MSJanessa hit it on the head here....the fact that you are straight or gay doesn't even matter, if you dress you are perceived as gay and the homophobic society we live just can't accept that....bottom line is fear of what is different.

Rebeca

[tightsgirl]

People think we are perverts or deranged sexual deviants or pediphiles, but they always end up being christians, conservatives, or members of the moral majority

[crusadergirl]

I can see that its not really a good thing to be a cd. Most of your points are right on. I was asked yesterday what i thought about trans i told them i liked them there cool with me. But i could tell not many ppl even knew what that ment to be trans. I told them and they said that they are scared of them. I have 2 good friends that are trans and i didn't want anything to do with them until i realized i was a cd. I have been pretty open minded but the ppl in my life mostly my family don't like anything thats not normal to them. So its hard at times to break away from it. I work in costumer service so i have seen cds and disabled ppl i have always ask them if they need help but i was alittle freaked out. Thats all i have to say on that.

[Kieron Andrew]

most of joe/jo public 'think' that ALL CDing comes with sexual connotation, and that we are sex craved perverts!