It dawned on me that I never really did answer the question that was asked.... What it was like in those 'stone ages' was, in a word, lonely! I never realized that I wasn't the only one in the world harboring these feelings, it wasn't until the internet era that I found out that I wasn't! Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing it!
When I first read this post I keyed on the word "mature"-thought that meant those of us 50+. Did a quick dictionary search and the first def. is " complete in natural development and growth". I do feel the internet ( this site primarily) has made it easier for me to to see that I'm not alone. There are others who have the same feelings and desires- you are not an outcast- just maybe in the minority (what ever that is today). I'm finally in a position in life where I can truly be what I want (could never come out to my wife when I was married- we split for other reasons), and I feel much better about myself- that's what is really important! Feels of quilt /shame, etc. are really hurtful to your sense of self-worth. I (at 55+) am coming to grips with my life and myself- you know what? it feels good!
P.S. I did a quick search here and there are no tabs on the average age of members- maybe someone could supply it- bet it's older than the population in general.
Alice
I "borrowed" some stuff from my X, and bought some at stores. Never did anything illegalbut, you are right, it was tough. Much easier now.
Vikki
I started my cd'ing in the 50's. I would borrow from my mom. I have two brothers, no sisters. Up until early high school, I was able to fit into her heels. So I would wear them with her garterbelt and stockings. She had a couple of skirts that would fit me. I can remember in 1958, when a girl down the street gave my mom a dressy dress (prom gown) for a special event. The dress came with the matching fancy 3" spike heels and purse. The shoes were a little tight, but wearable. I was in heaven. I was able to fit into the dress and heels for about two years.
During college in the early to mid 1960's, my cd'ing took a back seat, but I would look at the coeds and wonder what it would be like to wear their outfit, especially the shoes.
I told my wife about my desire to wear women's clothes in 1968, about 6 months after we were married. She did not take it well. Of course, I was completely unable to explain it, as I did not understand it myself. She immediately thought I was gay. Try to explain yourself out of this in the 1960's. Add to this that I was a combat arms officer in the army. Talk about stress. I believed that I was the only one in the world. Then in 1970, while stationed in Germany, Their was a story in the "Overseas Weekly". The Overseas Weekly was kind of an underground newspaper that many times criticized the military. The story told about a young Lieutenant that was caught dressed enfemme in the redlight district in Frankfort. He was courtmartialed and dismissed from the army. This further scared me. During this time, I had purchased couple pairs of heels at the army thrift store. I can't remember what or if I made any excuse when buying them. I know I was scared to death.
Fast forward to the late 70's and into the 80's, I would purchase shoes and clothes at Goodwill, Salvation Army or dumpster dive. My wife and I had so many confrontations and I had so many purges. I went out for the first time dressed in 1983 to a Halloween party. I had a lot of fun. After that, when the opportunity would hit, I would go out dressed to the mall or just for a walk at night. I guess that all the years having to buy at Goodwill has now driven me to have all clothes that are new.
Then in the late 1990's, My good wife stated that she was gone, and the internet came on board. The change was unreal. I had the freedom to dress, and the info on the internet was there. From there on, I began to shop openly, joined a support group, got a makeover, and began going out and enjoying life.
I will agree that growing up in the 50's and 60's as a young cd was quite scary. It placed so much undue stress and pressure on me. I often wonder how much my life would have been changed had I able to be open with what I do.
Jodi
In the late 80s I had outlets at Rainbow Gatherings and Grateful Dead concerts. By 1994 I was out in general public. I made my first internet post in 1997.
Before that, I had books like the three volume set of Havelock Ellis's The Psychology of Sex, a book that included lots of vivid case histories of late Victorian era CDs, to show me that I was not all alone. I also observed the way a lot of gay people dressed in California in the late 60s when I was stationed there by the Navy. And Christine Jorgensen was famous. it wasn't all that barren.
Started out with Mom's things. She would have garage sales and there were always leftovers to pick through. It was years before I heard the term crossdresser. I did here of Transvestites. That still sounds so not me. I started very young and after a while I decided I liked the female side a lot more. Now, I'm in my fifties and love who I have become. It does bring back memories when I read some of the posts of 'the beginning times'.
Lanore
BEFORE THE INTERNET- A Void!
As an older cd (late 50's) I feel that I have progressed thru from some pre-historic time. Having grown up in NYC, then moving to California in the 70's, things were not so bad for me as for others. Both NY and CA. were very wide open sexually and as you know gave birth to the sexual revolution. Still I felt odd, and alone as very few shared my interests.
For me the last few years have been the best I have ever had as a CD. The net is not about being able to buy stuff as much as it is about meeting like minded people who share your deepest feelings and have struggled thru your worst nighmares too. Sure being able to buy silicon breast forms or kinky footwear is cool but you could do that thru Centurion Magazine 20+ years ago. In fact I lived in Huntington Beach, CA. less than 10 mins from their huge store in Westminster. I lived in that place!
So to me the net has helped me grow as a person who happens to be a CD. Now I know I am not a freak or a sicko but rather a person with an expanded personality and I know that there are lots of other people like me who share these same issues. The net also helped my wife come to gripes with my "hobby" when she discovered my alter ego 10 years ago.
Without the internet and all the info she was able to find, I'd be broke, divorced and miserable. Now I am just broke from buying all the cool stuff that Michelle needs to be happy LOL!
Back in the "Olden Days", there were these big stores that were called "department stores", and they were not all owned by the May Company. A few were Robinson's, Bullocks, The Broadway in L.A.and a few more. Each and every one of them had a lingerie department among their many departments. They actually carried several brands of lingerie and sleep ware for women. If you were a CD, you could go into any of those stores or you could go to any one of several smaller shops that carried nothing but lingerie and buy any of the garments that were for sale. There were other small shops some of which carried mostly dresses and skirts, or some carried only shoes, or there were actually some that sold nothing but women's hosiery. So, we mainly bought those things that we wanted or needed. Of course, just as today, it was not unheard of for a CD to borrow items of clothing from their wive, mother, sister or aunt. Things haven't really changed that much except the Internet has made it easier for men to obtain women's clothing and has saved many a young CD the anguish of asking a female SA to ring up a sale for a pair of women's panties. What really made a difference for us was the invention of the automobile, because prior to that one had to ride a horse through the darkened street, and the horse made a lot of noise which alerted the whole neighborhood that there was a CD out for an outing while dressed in his wife's petticoat.
I started dressing when I was 6. My mother thought it was cute...I thought it was great. I was raised by my grandparents and was alone most of the time that I was not in school. I got to got through Mom's stored items frequently. I used to paint my nails with model airplane paint and then take it off with paint thinner. I took every halloween as a time to dress.
As I became a teen, I went to live with my father and my stepmother. Once again, I was alone most of the time...Dad was a railroader and Mom was a nurse's aide. Her clothes fit me perfectly! I used to do things around the house dressed in her clothes.
I also wore feminine items under my regular clothes when I was in high school. Almost got caught a couple of times.
I blossomed in college. I was much thinner and more passable than I am today. [Thank you chronology!!] I worked my way through college as a female bartender. Actually went on dates and hung out with other college girls. They knew my secret but I was honestly surprised at how well they actually helped me. They invited me to several sorority parties and I could always count on them trying to hook me up with a drunk frat boy.
I explained to them that I would rather be hooked up with a drunk sororiety girl. That brought on its own twists.
After that....I toned it down and took advantage of prudent opportunities.
In retrospect, it wasn't bad for a kid in the 50's.
:be: Sharon Rose
I too began in the late 50's early 60's. Not sure exactly, it seems so long ago, but things were a lot different back then. I'd take things from my mom or big sister while they were out shopping, run to my room or the bathroom. and dress up. It was a bad thing to do back then. My parents sent me to a shrink (No disrespect intended), to help but it wasn't a good thing in their eyes either. Sooo alone. Kept it hid as best as I could.
In 1970, I was in California, Santa Monica actually, visiting my sister, and one day I bravely went into what was called a "supper club". A gay bar by any other name is still a gay bar. There was a restaurant but it lacked a cook, so it was closed at the time. Met a few people, one of which bought me a dress, makup, everything I needed to do what I liked. Took me out to places too. But it was always a gay (men) crowd and that was not for me. My parents sent me a ticket to come home for Christmas, so I went back home. I kept it all a secret after that.
I guess I'm rattling a bit here, but what's a girl to do.
Anyway, now that the internet is here... I recently discovered this site, and it has helped a lot.
This is weird, but I never really thought about it once I started. Some good freind gg's started me out, and I never looked back. I didn't think of myself as a transvestite, or anything but me, really. I think I was too busy coping with being young, and trying to find my own way alone, to really get to introspective about it. I had been cast out of my family before I crossed over, so maybe that is why I didn't give it much thought. I never felt guilty about it though, so maybe that is why... Like I said, weird.
I'm 43 so I guess thats mature enough.. Early on as a teenager I would steal some of Mom's panty hose or sis's lipstick and spend a fair amount of Bathroom time!! Sometimes I'd sleep in the panty hose and was sure someday my GF would come over and catch me! After I was married I would also steal some panty hose, try on some skirts or bras or experiment with makeup while she was at work.. About 1997 I was living on LI and when talking about a Halloween party with a friend he suggested "lets go as chicks" For me this was the ultimate! I said "yeah that'll be funny! I bought a pair of "5 pumps on 8th St in the Village for the occasion.. Figured nobody there would blink an eye at a guy buying heels. Told my wife that I got them from a friends wife (who was very tall) she bought the story and made me up! Shaved my legs for the first time ever.. WOW!! Anyway, not long after that for me came the internet and shopping online... Delivery to hotels (I travel alot for work), Delivery to PO Box.. My wife knows now but I still am not at the place where I can have femme items delivered home.. It has been quite an evolution.. Going from being totally alone, to having support and knowing that there are people just like you.. Right in your own neighborhood! It's a shame that society doesn't accept us more.. There are more of us than they know!!
Staycee
ah yes, the good old days of steam, how I miss that smell, when you could get a pair of stockings for tuppence, including the american sailor ! lol
Angie^ xxxx ( not really that old !)
Here I was thinking wow...Then I realised it was another sh#ts & giggle line like Ashley and the horseOriginally Posted by angie^
You got me!
hugs
x
beckii
No changes before or after ,cause I purchased clothing for my wife,she was amazed my taste and enjoyed my purchasing all the time even now,but she doesn't like me buy anything on net which I love this ver much.
Rain
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