My Husband Betty (A GG's take on her SO's CDing)

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

Hi,

For those who don't know, My Husband Betty is a book written by his GG SO, author Helen Boyd.

My first intention was to purchase this for my SO who I'd just recently told of my CD'ing.

Well the book arrived Tuesday & when Robyn_oz is not reading it, I am.

It offers some really refreshing insights that is are presented in a 'straight for the hip' dialog.

Definitely a book to either purchase for yourself or to give to your SO who maybe experiencing problems coming to terms with your CD'ing.

Think I paid around $39AUD delivered.



hugs

x

beckii

[Marcie Sexton]

Yes indeed it is an enlightening book, she offers several other titles dealing in the same subject, I would suggest you invest in them also...

[Shadeauxmarie]

I just borrowed it from the library. Saves money.

[pinkshelly]

Love the book and am reading it again. Didn't know she had more, I'll have to find them. I also liked a book called "dresscodes" can't remember who wrote it. I recomend it too.
Huggs, Shelly.

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

I just borrowed it from the library. Saves money.

Agreed, though doubt they'd have that title at my local conservative library

[kristine239]

If you would like to meet Helen Boyd and betty Crow in person, plan on attending transgender 2007. (see the Events listing on this board). They will be featured presenters and Helen will have her new book out.

[Marcie Sexton]

For the girls interested here is an interview of Helenhttp://intraa.tgcrossroads.org/connections/story/?iid=37&aid=898

[tekla west]

I find her books to be pretty 1950/60s old hat stuff. She is not TG. She is not a crossdresser. She is pretty much guessing - and often gets it wrong. Her husband is not the only CD in the world, and his experiences and outlook are not universal. Why not read books that are by people like us, for people like us?

Number one recomended book:
Alice in Genderland, by Dr. Richard Novic, Best take yet.

How to books:
7 Secrets of Successful Crossdressers by Lacey Leigh
The Lazy Crossdresser by Charles Anders
Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls by Veronica Vera

and the two great ones
Gender Outlaw
Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws
both by Kate Bornstein, our most gifted writer who is one of us, writing to us. Empowering.

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

She is not TG. She is not a crossdresser.

True, but neither are the GG's ( no offense intended ladies) here either tekla. So I really don't get your point to your post!

On the flip, I'll check on these others books too, thanx for the links.


hugs

x

beckii

[Glenda58]

I'm reading it now. It's interesting the way a GG see things. BTW it was written for GGs with a CD BF or husband and how they handle it not for us CDs.

[ColleenCD]

I have read and recommend "My Husband Betty". After I read it I asked my wife to read it. She did but still wouldn't talk about it. I just got a copy of "Alice In Genderland" and I get to start reading it tomorrow. Thanks for the insight Tekla.

Colleen

[satin-and-lace-for-m]

I have purchased "My Husband Betty" and "My Husband Wears My Clothes"

Sadly, my wfe won't read either of them....it's against her religion.

Back in the closet I go..


Cheers,

Satin...

[Rachel Morley]

I think the book is a good read, I would recommend it. My wife Marla corresponds with Helen though Yahoo 360. Apparently Betty is almost full time now.

[Satrana]

Number one recomended book:
Alice in Genderland, by Dr. Richard Novic, Best take yet.

I agree that was an excellent book. I found his insights to be spot on every time. But then the author is a transgendered psychologist who treats other transgendered clients. If he does not know what he is talking about, then we are lost! And it is refreshing to hear about someone who is so comfortable with himself and has a loving supportive wife who stands by him despite having anxieties of her own.

[Alice D]

I have read and recommend "My Husband Betty". After I read it I asked my wife to read it. She did but still wouldn't talk about it. I just got a copy of "Alice In Genderland" and I get to start reading it tomorrow. Thanks for the insight Tekla.

Colleen

Gotta get that book- should have great insight for me The more I think about that maybe I should use it in my signature.

Alice

[GG Vanya]

I checked out this Alice in Genderland author a few days ago. Meh, I don't give much credence to someone who admits (on his website) that he took hormones and intentionally kept that information from his wife.

It's all in perspective I'd assume, but I lost interest as soon as I read that little tidbit of information. Even though I continued to read, he lost my respect at that point.

Once again I'm reminded of that adage: Those who can...do. Those who can't....teach.

[Lindsay]

She is not TG. She is not a crossdresser...

And the book is *not* written for TGs or crossdressers, although IMO they should read it. It's a real antidote to the happy clappy fantasy land crap spouted in so much of the T-themed literature aimed at wives and SOs, where they're essentially told "it's all great! It's not about sex! There's no downside! If you don't embrace it totally you're a bad person!"

Her husband is not the only CD in the world, and his experiences and outlook are not universal.

Tekla, did you read the same book I did? It's full of case studies, some positive, some negative. Boyd also takes great pains to stress that her experiences, her reactions, her opinions, are hers alone.

Why not read books that are by people like us, for people like us?

Vanya's quote shows why:

Meh, I don't give much credence to someone who admits (on his website) that he took hormones and intentionally kept that information from his wife.

Many books by people like us, for people like us, tend to forget, ignore or gloss over the effects we have on the people who love people like us.

[Katrina CD]

I read MHB when I realized what I was. It gave a real world view of what being transgendered was from an SO's POV.

Helen has a new book, She's not the Man I Married, coming out I think in Feb. It is more on her & Betty's continuing journey.

BTW Helen & Betty have a fourum @ http://www.myhusbandbetty.com. There are many discussions on Trans issues. Some of them tend to get heated at times, usually dealing with definitions. I have been on there for a few months and have found lots of good advice & info, but the philisophical discussions can be a bit much.

I have heard people say that Helen has been instrumental in bringing Trans issues into the light of mainstream America. I think she does a very good job of speaking for the SO's.

My wife wouldn't read it, but I think it is a very good intro for an SO.

Later,
Katrina.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I find her books to be pretty 1950/60s old hat stuff. She is not TG. She is not a crossdresser. She is pretty much guessing - and often gets it wrong. Her husband is not the only CD in the world, and his experiences and outlook are not universal.

I'm a bit baffled your comments. Doesn't sound like the book I read.

And the book is *not* written for TGs or crossdressers, although IMO they should read it. It's a real antidote to the happy clappy fantasy land crap spouted in so much of the T-themed literature aimed at wives and SOs, where they're essentially told "it's all great! It's not about sex! There's no downside! If you don't embrace it totally you're a bad person!"

Yup. Helen wrote it specifically because she felt SOs were being overlooked by the existing books out there.

Helen is definitely supportive towards trans people, but like most SOs, it's not always easy for her, and she's honest about it. As one of the regulars at the MHB boards says, support doesn't always mean acceptance, and Helen is willing to call out trans folks out on some of the less savory behavior that goes on (sexism, self-indulgence, self-centeredness, etc.). Some people don't like that, nor have others forgiven her for breaking the omerta about that "yes, it is sexual for some folks," and "yes, some CDs do end up transitioning."

As Katrina mentioned, Helen's new book "She's Not the Man I Married" will be out in a March -- and having been one the advanced readers I can say it's excellent.

I checked out this Alice in Genderland author a few days ago. Meh, I don't give much credence to someone who admits (on his website) that he took hormones and intentionally kept that information from his wife.

I found Alice in Genderland extremely disappointing. Besides finding Novic seeming willfully unreflective -- sorry, but saying "I realized I must be part girl" is not in-depth self-analysis -- I was put off by Novic "my way or the highway" attitude. I'm not opposed to open/poly relationships per se, but Novic's relationship seemed dictated not negotiated. "Man in the Red Velvet Dress" was far more insightful about the "I'm too sexy" circles that Novic moves in.

I would recommend Lacey Leigh's books -- very good on the subject of taking pride in who you are -- although I'm not wild about her One True Way to CD attitude.

Kate Bornstein's books are good, although Bornstein definitely is more of the "gender queer" POV.

[Robin Leigh]

FWIW, Helen's a member here, too. But she never posts.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=25647

Robin