My curiosity?

[Lanore]

YES

Lanore

[melissaK]

Your question is a fair hypothetical, and my answer is unequivocally yes. Or, emphatically yes. Or, indubitably yes.

And would I say this were your question less hypothecical and more real world? Well, you didn't ask that, though many seem to be answering that. That's the world of all our rationalizations, compromises, etc.

But, Bethany, you and your kids are probably enough proof for me that if my life was a board game and I could call "do over," and live as a woman, without being one, second time around, I would.

My life has been wonderful and full on many levels - and I am ever mindful of the blessings I have - a great wife, kids, career, grandkids, good physical health. I am mindful that the path laid before many others was harder than any I can imagine, and I should not complain and eschew the Biblical lesson of Job.

But, on other levels, my life has been horrific. The conflict between my inherent unfulfilled desire to live as a woman and my needs for approval and security from parents, peers and society at large, is so ferocious that it has from time to time overwhelmed my sanity. I have periods of time that are blacked out, and periods of dissociative behavior that are notable - and painful. I may sound like Frodo after getting stabbed by the Wraith King, but my soul is hurt and it has never healed. And I am weary of the burden.

I am barely three months out from my last acute dissociative break. I am rebuilding who I am at core levels so that my path is genuinely different. It has to be different because I have an overriding sense that I will not survive another acute break. "That is why I must not fail . . . , everything depends on it."*

So, right now, my answer to the "do over" question you did not ask, would be yes, "do over." And I know in my "do over life" I'd find my wife again. I'd have my kids and my grandkids again.

*I know some of you are geeky enough to get the reference - (Hey, I have to joke and have fun with this stuff. Like Jimmy Buffet says: "if we couldn't laugh we will all go insane." Well, at least I would.)

PS and I love that my long winded dissertation follows Lanores, what a contrast in style to say the same thing.

[Stephenie S]

I have answered this question several times in past posts as it is one of those questions that always seems to crop up from time to time. The answer is still the same:

Yes. In a New York minute!

Lovies,
Steph

[Rachel Morley]

If you could live enfemme all your life, and not have it affect your relationships or career, would you?

I'm not sure I would...the big thing for me is the relationship part, even though I think I have the most accepting and participating wife in the world, she still likes to see some boy signals going on with me from time to time, that's why I dress "somewhere in between" a lot of the time. Also, to be completely honest with you, getting to the state of fully en femme can sometimes be a bit of a chore. It can take me forever to get ready to go out sometimes. If I'm ever going to be en femme for say a whole weekend and I'm going out in public both during the day and in the evening, I find I want to shave again before dinner and taking off all your make up, shaving again and then re-applying it all is sometimes such a bother, so I'd like to be able to say I'll skip the all the make up and just go out as a girly dressed guy. So after saying all of the above, I guess the short answer for me is no.

[Katie_]

nope, quite happy with the "arrangement" as it is now....

[samantha#1]

Hi Bethany,
Like yourself, and many others here, I have been dressing since my early teens. I truely do believe that i have the wrong body. After my divorce to my first wife when I was 20 I had taken to a almost fulltime enfemme life, I made the decision to move cities and go fulltime (both physically and in apperance) well expecting that for a period of time at least, my chosen lifestyle would need to be funded through a "working" lifstyle. Two weeks out from moving I met my current wife and a more caring understanding person I could not have met. 23 years later we are still very much in love, but since that time my dressing has been on a parttime basis; even with periods of years where I did not dress at all. We have a family and a family business and live in a small city where I do know that a fulltime enfemme apperance would not be good for our bank account. I am fortunate that I can dress every day and that is a terrific time in my day. Although I would certainly dress fulltime if circumstances warranted it, the desire for physical changes that I yearned for many yaers ago is not as strong; in any case I am not too sure if my wife would be willing to allow me to go that far (some things you kinda get used to over such a period of time).
Samantha

[carla smith]

Nope. I like being a man that likes to dress like a woman for the fun of it. Having fun doing something becomes something less than fun if you do it all the time. (Copy from other posts...)

It seems to me that this is not a crossdresser desire, but a transgender desire. I have a need to label things so I can understand myself in relation to others better.

Have fun out there!

[Glenda58]

Yes if there was no problems with relationships or family or job. I enjoy the things I do as a man but I could do the same things en femme. I'm doing more everyday now that I'm older and living alone.

[lori m crawford]

you are right liveing to worlds is a hard life life is life

[ToyGirl]

good question bethany , ive often wondered how the majority of cd/tv's felt about it.

To add to it , i think there is still alot of uniqeness about. I dont feel like a True TS in that i was not a woman born in a mans body , I was a woman born in very feminine body. That body was not compatible with societys expectations and allways caused myself and others discomfort and confusion.Since living as a woman life has been easier for me and everyone else , and just makes more sense. Though i am on HRT and will have SRS and that is what gives me the TS label.

[Erica Lauren James]

Bethany,

Without any resistance, intolerance, loss of family relationships or financial loss. Yes I would but I would sure hope to be as lucky as you and find myself a great wife like your's.


p.s. I've some of you chapters on your website. They are great!!!


Kiera

[fiona_libby]

If I could be totally selfish and make a decision that will make me 100% happy regardless of the effect on the people around me I would be live my life as a woman BUT this remains just a dream

huggs

Fiona

[Miss Terr]

Today, I say yes.
A month from now, I say no.
It seems like the tide-- it comes in, and goes out.
Anybody else like that?

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

Present enfemme %100 of the time? Doubt it. Present femme as a what to wear today choice with no ramifications? Yes, often

[michelleliz]

I would in a New York Minute. And I will in a few months

Michelle Liz

[finacarina]

While you are all pondering your answers to the question, Im out partying enfemme!

[ArleneRaquel]

Don't we all wish that we could be doing that right now ! Maureen

[DarleneCD]

[QUOTE=Bethanygirl]

If you could live enfemme all your life, and not have it affect your relationships or career, would you?

I would say yes to about 80 percent of my life for right now.

You know it never ceases to amaze me the range of how different this plays a part in each of our lives. Given the safe opportunity some here would still do it on a limited part time basis while others would live as a woman for the remainder of their days. That is the wonderful human Quality that makes each of us so unique.

There is one constant theme that seems to stand out though. What we all seem to be seeking is the absolute unfettered "freedom of expression", To be whatever and whenever we want to be.

We just wanna be free........

Good question Bethany

Dar

[Samantha43]

I like my life just the way it is now.

[toniinoz]

Only one or two things stop me from living fulltime as I feel Ishould , the first is my wife ,[ I would be devastated if I lost her ] , second is shaving facial hair twice daily , can't stand the feel of stubble under makeup .
Greetings & happy new year from downunder , Toni

[Diana West]

Even if it wouldn't affect my relationship or career, I wouldn't want to be femme 24/7. But I wouldn't want to be masculine 24/7 either.
I like being feminine sometimes and I like be masculine sometimes and I like when they blend sometimes. In short, I enjoy the variety.

[Josie06]

Yes!

Now would I go all out and transistion, do hormones and get an operation? Probably not...my fantasy would to just be full time Tgirl (Transexual, Tranny, CD whatever label applies I never can remember what I am by the way...too many labels and terms for us!!!) Would luv to just be open about me being a Tgirl with everyone.

In Atlanta I think it would be possible without too much drama and flack...especially down in the liberal/gay parts of town. But right now my job would not work out at all with that and my kids don't need more stress in their lives. Getting them grownup and educated is way more important than my femme desires & dreams.

Deidra, like you I would say yes. However, I would continue and have HRT, SRS and other feminization surgeries. I have been 'not myself outwardly' all my life. I would like to be who I really am when I look in the mirror. To see the woman that I am inside is my dream. Hopefully in a loving caring relationship to sustain and nourish me for all time.

[Sophia Rearen]

If you could live enfemme all your life, and not have it affect your relationships or career, would you?

Today, I would say no. But, I have the right to change my mind tomorrow, being 60% female and all. I would be thrilled to just dress enfemme as I would please, when I pleased.

[Marla S]

Do you modify your expectations to try to be 'realistic' about your life choices?

Yes. This starts with the body features. Living as a woman, I think I'd "suffer" form the same drawbacks even more that prevent me now from looking more fem as man.

Do you live a half-life to meet the expectations of loved ones?

Yes, but it is probably less the exceptations than the wish not to worry them.

If you could live enfemme all your life, and not have it affect your relationships or career, would you?

Enfemme yes, as woman probably not (see above).

[Lovely Rita]

Hi Bethany
Variations is the right word you used. The world of people is filled with variations. Variations even in similar life styles, so I believe there are variations with regards to CDs,TGs, and etc. We love to classify but it is a practice that just does'nt cut it.
I could not live full time in femme. Not because of societal constraints, but because I love the male side of me just as much. I think I would get depressed if I had to give up any side of my persona. I am quite fortunate that I have an SO that loves every side of me. The male aspect which can get on her nerves and the female aspect of me that can also be somewhat prissy.
No way would I want to be full time. I love flowers and I love Tigers.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

thanks