Friends who support you CDing
Hi everyone, I was wondering if any of you might have stories to share about your friends who are supportive of you CDing , how you got to know them or let them know you CD. I know there is quite a number of posts on SO issues but what about friends or local communities? I have never totally dressed up to go out so I will never meet or talk to anyone while fully dressed up (except once but that was for a group gag [long story], but I did enjoy it :P).
I have come out to two people currently...
my first and true friend my wife...then < bless her right winged heart > my neice who said she supports me, but ask if I wasn't afraid of going to hell doing so...
Need I say more
When I was living in Portland Maine, I went downtown often. Found myself a little martini bar (Lava Lounge) where DJs played dance music in the evenings. Within a few weekends, I had several very nice partymates, two GGs and a guy - we danced and chatted long into the nights. Still correspond via email with one of them.
My two daughters have a very good friend who is a CD-er. And they try to get their friends to meet her too- quite an eye opener for some of them, I think.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I have a few e-friends whom I've never met that know I crossdress...they do too
I've told very few people in person. Only one of those people was male. The rest (four) were female. I remain friends with just one of them...my wife
I've been to just one CD support group meeting. Can't say anyone from that meeting counts as a friend just yet. I expect to be going again, but there always seems to be something that gets in the way of going. Last month it was my mother in law coming in from out of town. "Sorry mom, my husband had to go off to a crossdresser's support group meeting".
I want to go to more meetings, to have more of a support network of friends beyond my wife. But, here in Indiana there's not a ton of support. Some, but not a ton.
-BB
I grew up in a household of women and in a neighborhood of women. Almost all of my closest friends have always been women.
Additionally; I have always gravitated towards a certain type of woman. Shall we say on the "loose" side. All but one are admitted bi-sexuals ( and I think she is lieing!).
The first one that found out was a neighbor that I was house sitting for. She came back to find me dressed in her things....after several eternities of agony for me; she just sat down next to me and told me " I always wanted a daughter".
The second was my best friend. No easy way for that one. I did the halloween thing and invited her over to my place to help me get ready and put my makeup on for me. That was the first time she had been up to my room. She took one look at the vanity full of , used, make-up, the closet full of dresses, and said; "You've done this before haven't you". We talked for hours. She asked the usual questions: are you gay, do you like men, why do you do this, are you gay, how long have you been like this, are you gay, do you go out dressed like this, are you gay.
That was many years ago. Her husband does not know about me. But she and I still have lunch togeather once a week. We talk girl talk and I dont' think she has seen the drab me in three years.
Four or five other girls no about me. It all started with me doing a little CD joking. You know "If you are gonna get dressed up, maybe I should too".
Then tell them a story about a CD friend I knew, perhaps a friend of a friend. The reacitons to the story are mixed. I think some of the hardwired negative reactions were things that they expected ME to want to hear.
Usually things just reached a point where I felt I could trust them enough to just sit down and tell them.
All but two of them are still my friends. Strangely most of them spend more time talking to me than to my drab self. If I get e-mail it is to me and not him. I have almost taken over as a kinda " favourite Aunt" figure ( much too young I know....).
Love
Michelle
I would estimate that over thirty people know about my crossdressing, between family and friends.
Both sisters-in-law, brother and brother-in-law, and all six nieces and nephews know about Maureen, and some see me dressed regularly.
Several of one nephew's friends (18-23 yr. olds) know and have seen me dressed, all no big deal.
Several friends of our age also know, and I've not encountered any negative reactions, at least not overt. They don't act any differently around me that I can detect.
I have not told anyone at work, or allowed myself to show anything that could lead to disclosure. Most of my coworkers are major bigots (racist, xenophobic, homo/genderphobic, and religious bigots)
One's true gender is in the heart and soul, not one's anatomy.
Your brain...don't leave home without it!Maureen
I have only one person whom I consider a friend. That would be my wife. She is the only one I can trust and the only one I wanted to know. It has been rough for her and I know what damage I have done to the relationship because of it. But I think we are on an up swing now and things are pretty good between us.
people who would have a problem with it are not my friends as a rule / if you present as 'get over it, i have' most people get over it
unless i'm going out to a fancy place i never use makeup except lip gloss / forms / or any of that / so people have to get over it right away
What a cool topic. I was thinking just the other day of how many people knew or know that I am TG. I believe it is about 40. The number is probably greater than that as I woulb be impressed if that number of people could keep a secret. It was through involvement in various 12 step programmes that I started trusting people enough to let them know that I am bi sexual and a transvestite. I have outed myself to my gay uncle as I felt I could trust him and his partner. But over the years girlfriends, friends, acquaintances etc have all come to know that I am trangsgendered. I have never met a person yet who has turned away from me or stopped being a part of my life. It would seem most folks have enough going on in their own lives without worrying about my shopping for the latest thong and matching bra.
None of my friends have seen me fully dressed but that day will come I am sure. KS.
Just another man in a dress
Places I have been "enfemme":
My Men's Group last Halloween. These men are the closest to me, we meet weekly for a 3 hour authentic encounter and support session.
My Church Community. I have shown up to two events "enfemme". Some people are curious and supportive, including the minister. Some sort of don't know what to say - and say nothing. That works, though I feel a bit sad with the distance.
My daughter (lives with me) - I wouldn't say she is super supportive, yet she is more than tolerant.
My Burningman Community (Camp "Deep Heaven"). That is where I really got my dressing ignited, enfemme for 4 nights running during this years week-long Burningman Event in the Nevada Desert.
I participate in several personal growth communities, like Human Awareness Institute (HAI) and HOW Workshops, and I know I can show up among them enfemme and get awesome support - they are all for being who you are, and taking risks to find out.
I went to a Dress-Up session at a local costume-shop called ILoveItGirl (Fremont, California) and met half a dozen girls and a shop-owner/"mommy", and will go to a Charity Ball (IGLM Alameda Ducal Court) next Saturday with the same crowd.
--------- Who Doesn't?
My Ex.
I'm not willing to take the risk with the rest of my family. Most are reactionary in their "Christian" Religious views.
Roberta
I have a few female friends that know about my dressing and are happy to take me clubbing, as they've all got serious long term there's no sense that it's anything other than them having a laugh and someone to escort them to clubs when they wouldn't go otherwise
If it's any consolation to anyone, I'll never pass but manage to get out their dressed so don't think you have to look glam...if I can do it anyone can
I have a few friends that know and are supportive. One I met in the early 90's when a friend brought her to a gig my band was playing. She and I hit it off, as friends, and very soon I was able to tell her everything about me. She told me about a friend of hers who is also very open minded and accepting who happens to be a FtM CD and encourages me to dress.
2 years ag I told one close friend, who I dated for 3 months 20 years ago, and it turned out she was very accepting of it. Wish I would have known that 20 years ago.
Since then I have shared with a few others, most are understanding, some used it when mad at me to spread around. I was able to weather those early storms and did not tell anyone else for a long time...until my last GF, who decided to let everyone and my mother know.
I am keeping my mouth shut now...lol. (although I did decide to share with 1 GG friend while crying to her over the phone about my broken heart. She is not only cool with it, but has accompanied me to a Tri-ess meeting)
Shannon
I recall my very male best friend saying something along the lines of "If you ever need a place to stay you can come to my house and wear a dress or whetever i dont give a f*#%"
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Besides my wife, several friends know about my X-dressing. Only women though, TG or GGs... There is just one exception, the husband of a GG friend whom I've come out to and who told her husband with my permission...
Having friends who know is a great relief for me. I have finaly people whith whom I can share my true personality. Some of these friends have met me "en femme", some have just seen pictures of me "en femme".
All of them have been extremely supportive. They have helped me tremendously in accepting myself more completely.
I'm greatful to them for all they have done for me and for their kind and warm friendship.
Eugenie
Its been very nice and interesting to see how all you have been coping with friends and family. I've been trying to figure out how to make new friends and hopefully they will be accepting.
Hi Janel, I live in central Alta and would love to make a friend, it is hard to find others in alberta that cd and will talk to u. I have tried a few different avenues and not had any respones. My fiance knows i cd and totally accepts it. Most of the time when i am home i am dressed. I have been out twice fully dressed at nite only. I would love to be able to do this with another cd at some point. If u wanna chat sometime, send me a pm. Cj
Enjoy your dreams, live life to the fullest.
I think, that now almost all the person, about who I can say that he is my friend, know about my CDing.
How I said? Sometimes by sending by email the adress of my website. Sometimes, when we are talking together... Don't think, that they all were surprised...
very cool that you are out in Belarus / nice photos / i wonder if it lights up in some old school cold war deal somewhere that i'm sufring sites in russia
Great question....I can count about six ladies, mostly those who help me dress or involved with me in some way. My electrolysist is my biggest cheerleader. My massage therapist who knows me too well knows and I have shared pictures with her. Then the 4 different ladies who have assisted me in transformation sessions know as well.
I've had 3 close GG freinds that I was able to come out and reveal my crossdressing including one of them that was my best freind for years and she really put a lot of money and time into Samantha's crossdressing which she didn't have to do.But I guess that's another SO story,in a way,even though we weren't married.I haven't had a lot of prolonged contact with other m to f's and I haven't even met that many of them.What contacts I've had with these were a real pleasure.In 1987-1988 I made the aquaintance of R_ _ _ _ _ _ and D_ _ _ _ and I came out to them thinking what have i got to Lose.They both were en fem almost everyday.This was in small town midwest Americana.They often called me "Samantha" right in front of Pabst on Tap kinda characters even though I'd be in drab.They didn't mean anything by things like that.They were very fun freinds for a year or two. I think it is very nice to have the supportive freindships of GG's and sisters. Samantha
Other than my wife , only a very close GG friend of ours who has been quite helpful with makeup and style tips. She is very supportive.
Oh, and also our MAC makeup artist.
Missy Anne
Almost all of my closest friends know that i do things a little out of the ordinary... so my crossdressing isn't a problem to them. (at least they haven't said anything to my face) There is one particular friend, whom i hadn't seen for a number of years, he had returned home from a 5 year stint interstate, and it coincided with the first time i went to party enfemme. His reaction was as if nothing was any different, just asked WTF and kept on drinking.
Another party, i decided to drees up for a few of the girls that were there, I have several bags of clothes that i let people go through, they wanted to see how things looked, so i went and tried them on for them. Got asked one question, but other than that, no problems.
New years eve i have dressed for for the last 2 years, no problems there at all either, just one friend said that although i might look like one of the girls from the back, he knew it was me by the way i talk. Another comment that was made was, "i had a feeling you'd do something like this" to which i replied with, "well i didn't dissapoint you then did i"
i am what I am, I do what I do..
i do not seek approval from others.
My best friend, my wife, knows but no one else. One of my resolutions for this year is to tell our best friends. A couple that we have been hanging with for almost 17 years. Now that my wife knows I feel I am still lying to everyone else. I would like to take that first step this year. After that who knows.Originally Posted by ABJanel
Love Ya, Tracy
"Like the sky opens after a rainy day we must open to ourselves.... Learn to love yourself for who you are and open so the world can see you shine." ~James Poland
My best friend knows. She has been very supportive and a really big cheerleader. I don't think I would have gone as far as I have with out her. And she gives me hope about other people and their reactions.
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