Lauren Goes To the Mall

[Lauren Richards]

Last night seemed like a good time for Lauren to head to the mall. Wearing a calf length black skirt and pink knit top under my size 24W coat, I considered which shoes to wear. I love to wear heels, but standing 6'-1" in my black tights, I chose a pair of flats for this evening out. Put the last touched of lip gloss over my wine color lipstick, and out the door I went. Arriving at the mall, there in the streetlight lit parking lot I decided I was going to walk thru at least two of the main stores.

Purse on shoulder, I entered one of the main department stores and went down a set of stairs to the plus size womens department. I have often bought items there en homme, and this was the second time I had been back en femme. Not crowded, but there were enough customers so that I was walking by someone often. It was like I was invisible - nobody stared, nobody gave me a second glance. Total freedom. I checked my look in the mirrors on several occasions, just to make sure it was really me walking about with my hair bouncing on my shoulders.

Feeling relaxed, yet alert (I think both cd & gg ladies need to always be alert to possible trouble), I rode the escalator up to the main level, and browsed with the other ladies thru lots of racks in the women's departments. Mostly the sale items. Shop wisely. Never right next to the gg's, but often only a rack or two away. I then headed to the main entrance, past the cosmetics counter, out the main store entrance and across the main pedestrian area of the mall linking the stores, casualy walking into the other department store: Nordstrom.

So much fun! Again, it was as if I was not there. All the shoppers in their own worlds, me just gliding about on a cloud. Walked about a bit, checked my look at the cosmetic counter while the girl was helping another lady, then out I went to the main pedestrian mall. Enjoying the evening, instead of walking directly back into the first store, I turned left and continued walking past several other stores. Eventually crossing over to the other side, I walked back to the store I had originally entered from the parking lot.

I took the long way back to the door, past the shoe department (pausing to check out a few pairs on the way - not my size, indeed), and reluctantly went out the door to my car. What a thrill!

I had been in the company of hundreds of strangers for about half an hour, and if anyone noticed, I can't really say. If they did, nobody made any gestures nor unkind remarks. What I can say is that it wouldn't have mattered. The experience was wonderful. Lauren had Fun!

Took a few pictures when I got back. Nothing fancy. Just a little something to remind me of the wonderful night I had at the Mall. Nope, no purchases this night. I have, but that is another story. For now, Lauren needs lots of work on her voice. Someday...

Thank you all for being out there. I can honestly say that this Forum has helped me feel more alive, and free to explore, in many ways.

Lauren

[Holly]

Lauren,

What a wonderful evening. Too bad you couldn't find anything to buy. How did it feel being out there with everyone? Frightened, free, empowered, relieved???

[DonnaT]

That's great Lauren!

I've wanted to do that for the longest. At least 29 years!

My wife says one day. Can't wait!

[Tristen Cox]

What a fab time. I will say those pics are definitly passable in my opinion Nice going Lauren


*hugs*
Tristen

[Lauren Richards]

Girls, thank you so much. I know that if I can do this, you can, too. Taking many small steps in pushing out the comfort zone, with occasional bursts of energy and a desire to make a jump to another level of personal freedom and expression has my path. It has been a long one, too. Lots of years before that first drive to the gas station, and beyond..

For me being in public is a blend of being comfortable with myself, together with the excitement of the experience. I find that when I am out, there are rare moments when I lose awareness of being dressed; I am just Lauren. Truely, treasured moments.

[ChristineRenee]

Lauren may I just say FANDAMTABULOUS girl! You girls are living out my dreams right now. I am soooo wanting to go out dressed now but have to be patient knowing the time is coming sooner rather than later. I love your look Lauren...definitely passable as you probably realized. Alieviates a lot of fears I'll bet.

Thanks again for sharing your very successful excursion with all of us!


Love,
Christine Renee

[racquel]

Lauren,good for you.I know how you felt.This forum also motivated me to go out recently.
Looking forward to your next excursion.(sp)

[Sharon]

It's a wonderful story Lauren and I'm so glad you had such a fun time! You look and sound positively beautiful.
Sharon

[paulaN]

wow lauren you look great. so glad you had a good time, It's funny how one thinks that you can't blend in but you do.most people don't care even if you don't blend that well. fun isn't it,can't wait do do anouther shoping trip myself.

[Georgette]

Lauren what mall I am a transplanted PNW girl and I will be in that area in the summer I don't think I will be able to dress much as I will be seeing a lot of frieds and they don't know Georgette and I am not going to introduce her to them yet.LOL I hope maybe we may get together when I am up there. you can PM me.

[Sweet Susan]

Sounds great. What an adventure.

[Kate_Uhler]

I want to go shoppppppppppping with YOU!!!!

great pictures.. I'm inspiried..

kissy kiss kate

[StephanieCD]

Congrats!It must have been exciting! Good for you

[Linda-x]

Lauren, how exciting. I've never done a mall, yet. Being a Pacific NW girl myself, I was also curious as to the mall you went to. Alderwood is my favorite. How about getting make up tips, ect at a cosmetics counter? Would'nt that be to die for !!!

[Ava Mouse]

Wow! You look great in the pics! Good to blend in and you look sharp! What courage!

Someday I'll get up the courage to hit the mall...

[Lauren Richards]

Thanks for all your kind words ladies. It was quite an adventure. This time it was the Northgate Mall in North Seattle. I have also been to Alderwood, another major Mall about 10 miles north of there, but only to walk thru Nordstroms (one of the premier dept stores here in the States) one evening. Again, that was another time; another wonderful time.

Not quite up to getting makeup tips at the cosmetics counter yet. Yes, it sounds delightful. Some day...For now, my S.O. is great in helping me with makeup tips and color. I still remember the early years. Years. Years. Ouch. It takes time to become a lady. Still learning every time. Yesterday my S.O. decided I needed some work on my brows, and went to work shaping and cutting and using mascara to define my eyebrows. More Fun!

Again, thank you all for your generous notes of support. Someone once said, "If you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right." Looking forward to hearing more of your adventures, too!

Lauren

[Bonnie-OR]

I'll bet you'll be walking on air for quite a while. Your pictures are great, totally passable. I know other than looks of admiration, I'd never pick you out. Great story, and keep goin. Huggs, Bonnie

[barbiecd]

Lauren, I just love a story with a happy ending! To be so free and liberate is fantastic. Pics were great. If I only had the guts!
Hugs
Barbie

[windycissy]

I find that when I am out, there are rare moments when I lose awareness of being dressed

What a great way of putting it. Those are the moments I live for, too. And I share your wariness about getting a makeover - I usually steer clear of those girls with the smocks in the cosmetics department, although sometimes I can't resist treating myself to a spritz of some expensive cologne at the fragrance counter.

Way to go!

[LindaTS]

Way to go Lauren. That's a feeling that you can only know when you finally do go out. Total freedom. I remember the first time I ever made a purchase. It was a panty and bra set that I found in Sears. After I bought them I felt like it was incredibly easy and there was no stopping me from that day on. Get out there girls and spend some money on yourselfs. Good luck.

[sherri]

By now I have gone out many times to clubs, and as I continue to improve my appearance — thanks in no small measure to this forum — I feel more confident about being around others. Fear of discovery, however, prevents me from venturing out en femme to mainstream venues here at home.

I'm pretty sure that the next time I visit a distant city I will make my first forays in the retail world, and in daylight. I also expect such an experience to be petrifying, especially if I have to do it alone, as will likely be the case. Pounding heart, sweaty palms, cotton mouth, nerves on edge. Nevertheless, the urge to do it will be very powerful.

A couple of things about that, though:

1. I have some reservations about exposing young children to a crossdresser.
2. Lauren, your pics prompt me to ask, was it your experience that nipples peeking through clothing are eye magnets?

[MichelleGray502]

lauren i am proud of you for going out dressed to the mall, i know sometimes it takes a lot of courage to gout dressed. i have been dressing for 25 years now and sometimes it takes me a long time to get enough courage to go out. but sooner or later i get the urge and get dressed and just go and i always on alert on who around at all times for safety reasons but i haven't any serious problems with my safety at all there been a few times when i have given some dirty looks but i just ignored it and nothing else came of it. but what i also do more times then anyhting else is that i get dressed and go for along drive in the car with the wife and sometimes on my own and that usually helps me a lot and makes me feel good that i have gone out dressed.

Anyway lauren way to go girl and go out again when you are ready to do so.
Michelle_Peanut_Skirter

[Lauren Richards]

It it so nice of you all to share your encouragement and your experiences, at whatever level they are for you. I hope each of us is right where we need to be right now. I totally relate to those who have not gone out the door, and would not push you any faster than you feel comfortable. I trust that you will know when, you will know where. Enjoy who you are, inside. If you feel up to a stroll, go for it! If not, don't worry. You are normal, too.

Sherri, you asked a couple of good questions. Let's chat about the nipples, first. Nipples. Nipples. Sorry, I just like the sound of that. Nipples. In the second photo, they were a bit out there. I generally dress in a "classic" style, and work at keeping my actions in the same tone. However, within this lady is also a part which is very proud of my feminine curves, and likes the sensuality of the nipples, under my coat. While walking the Mall, my coat is generally gathered in such a way to conceal most of the breasts, leaving only the hint of cleavage to suggest what may lie behind the coat, or under the blouse; like most women you see.

There is another reason I like to put on the "Naughty Nipples" (yes, you too can have a set from the Breastform store, on line) when I go out is that they provide another tool in my kit of wonders. All good magicians will draw your eyes and attention to something they want you focus upon, all the while performing their magic right in front of the audience, unseen. Look here, don't see what I am doing over there. Same thing with the way I dress. If the occasion calls for it, I will reveal more breast and possibly a hint of those wonderful nipples to draw attention away from other features, like my big hands, or how tall I am, or how I may not have mastered my makeup. It is illusion we perform, and having a bit of smoke & mirrors helps. If someone is looking at my nipples, he is likley not going to put as much energy into wondering if I'm a guy. I am a guy, and I know how my eyes move when the vista improves. My basic self, part "woof!", part "meow". The nipples are just one of many ways to use your womanly wiles to move comfortably thru a crowd. Like most tools, like lipstick and eye shaddow, to be used wisely.

Regarding reservations about exposing young children to a cross dresser, that is a topic which could have a long and interesting thread. I purposfully go to the mall at times when there is less likely to be small children about, and watch carefully at all times. Just to be careful. I do not think it inherently damaging for a child to see a cross dresser, any more than it is harmful for them to see a naked body, a veteran with one leg, or any number of other things which some would consider harmful. Context is important.

A CD dancing on top of a table in a bar may be fine in the company of adults, but would not be encouraged if kids were present. A well behaved CD walking alone in a mall may cause a child to ask questions, and that may be the opening for a parent to open the door a little wider to the childs needs to know a little more about the world. Kids are curious. I don't think it would harm a child to see me in the mall. I have three grown kids and 4 g/kids. Believe me, harming a child is the very last thing I would allow. Children are to be protected, yet I believe they are protected best by growing their own armour of knowledge, and a flexability which comes from understanding, at the proper time, with the proper guidance.

Somehow this turned into a thesis. Thanks again to all of you. Keep true to you inner spirit and be well. Right now I have some fun stuff to rip out of the packages. Had a few too many eBay moments recently. Nahh! That would never happen!!

Lauren

[Ava Mouse]

Great post, Lauren.

I like the 'diversionary tactic bra' concept. Look HERE, not at my face, shoulders, etc. he he...

Whoa, now I can just see that in Victoria's Secret's! "NEW! Victoria's Secrets Diversionary Tactic Bra!" Not for illegal uses, like bank robbing, car jacking, etc.

ahem. Sorry.

I agree with the children point, too.

Maybe I'll run into you in the mall some day!

[ChristineRenee]

Lauren,

Congrats. You definitely got it all together. I love your magician's theory too. It is all about illusion isn't it...making people think they are seeing something that isn't really what it seems to be.

Great post. Thanks for sharing your experience with the rest of us, many like myself, who are still waiting in the wings to "perform" on the stage of real life!


Love,
Christine Renee