Clubs/Groups - your experiences

[cemab4y]

I would like to find out you girls' experiences with clubs and groups. I once went to a CD support group meeting in Memphis Tenn. It was my first time, and I have not been to another group meeting since. The individuals there were mostly interesting, and generally "nice". There was one individual who had a real "bitch attitude" and made the rest of us really uncomfortable. (I myself was in male attire). The most fascinating person I met there was a pre-op TS, who was just completing the mandatory year of living full-time as a "woman". This person was a police officer for the Memphis Police Dept, and the medical insurance was paying for the surgery/hormones, and (s)he was going to keep his/her job.

I am now considering trying the club/group scene again. I want to go first in drab, and "sound out" the group dynamic. If I feel comfortable and accepted, and the group is not too "far out", I will then attend in femme.

What have been your experiences? How should a beginner approach these groups/clubs?

[Marcie Sexton]

Hon, atleast you have places to go...NONE here...wish there was...

Keep going and think about us gals who have no support groups other than our wives/SO

[RobertaFermina]

I've been to a group once. Everyone was just polite and kind. I'm going back this Saturday.

I'd look for a group with a "mommy" or leader who sets standards for participation. In this group, before getting an "invitation", I had to show from by my pictures and websites, profiles, that I am interested in dressing and interacting "as a Lady". This probably keeps any rudeness to a minimum.

So, if you really don't want to deal with irritations or bad-actors, look for a group with standards and an "enforcer."

[JulieC]

From what I can tell, it varies group to group and even varies within a group meeting to meeting depending on who shows up.

[Donna Marie]

I went to one Tri-ESS meeting several years ago. It was a 90 mile drive and an overnight stay at a motel for me. I dressed up and it was a huge thing for me to step out of that motel room, walk outside past a very crowded pool area, and climb the stairs to our meeting room. The meeting was OK, but not especially interesting for me. Eventually we all piled into our cars and drove a short distance to a restaurant where we had a large table out in the middle of everyone else. Gulp! Well, I managed to eat and had a decent time. But after I got home I found that I wasn't enthused enough to ever repeat the trip.

Then I went to a local group one time - it was at night but only about 18 miles away. For that I dressed at home and drove en femme. Same reaction - didn't find it quite to my taste to make the night drive worthwhile, although I have considered it several times since.

I confess that I do wish I could find a group nearby where I could relax and just be "ME."

[JoAnnDallas]

I have been invited to visit/join the local Tri-Ess Chapter here in Dallas. I meet a lot of Tri-Ess members at HEF2006 last Nov. I am planning on going to the Feb meeting. It is about a hour drive from my house. While at HEF2006, one of the Tri-Ess officers was telling me that not only do they have a monthly meeting, but lunchens, dinners, and socials.

To me, a group that ONLY meets once a month is not that interesting. A group that also meets outside the meeting for socal events, like a BBQ, pool party, lunchens, dinners, and shopping is much more interesting.

[Kate Simmons]

It was okay. It gave me the confidence to get started. After awhile, however, it started to get a little static and I wanted to develop my femm self and personality, so left to do it on my own. They were all nice people but most were closeted and really couldn't think of taking it past the once a month meeting. If you are looking for acceptance, you can't beat it. If you are looking for more like I was however, you might want to consider taking the reins yourself later on. Ericka

[EricaCD]

The only group with which I have met was CDINYC here in New York (www.cdinyc.org). They seemed to have a nice mix in terms of focus on support/socializing, and the people were terrific. No pressure at all placed on appearance - it's a great place to make your first "public" appearance en femme.

Good luck!

Erica

[Amanda Jane]

they are good place to meet others and then go out from there

[Eugenie]

My first public "en femme" appearance was in a private CD club. It was a wonderful experience. I immediately felt comfortable. The other girls were al very friendly. Even though I live in France all the time, it is at the ocasion of one of my trips abroad that first meeting of X-dressing sisters took place: at the CDI-NY flat in Manhattan... (Hi Girls )

I really wish there were a similar group here where I live on the French Riviera...

Actually, I'm working right now at reviving an encounter club that used to be very active in this area and went down when its leader changed her life... It is indeed a lot of work to be on the organizing side... But if I can get the grop started again, I will also have a place to go for me

So I would definitely say that clubs like these are a great thing for most of us, at least to start going out.

Eugenie

[JoAnnDallas]

I have to admit that going to a function like HEF2006 increased my comidence a lot. I think it was because we were together. Just being around that understands you and accepts you, makes all of the difference. It is one thing to go out by yourself and going out with others like yourself. Also I suppect anyone that is going to give a bad time will think twice if there are two or more of you together. LOL

[Robingirl]

I have to agree with most of the girls on this subject. I have been a member of the tri-ess group in South Jersey for the past year. From talking to some of the girls and doing some research i could see where at one point it was very successfull, but now there are very small turn-outs and the group is not doing well at all. There is just not enough participation and enthusiam right now so I am not going to renew my membership this month. I intend to try another group calle Renaissance which i understand is more active and where the girls go out after the meeting. This particular chapter is in the King of Prussia area outside of Philadelphia. If any other girls in New Jersey or Pa would like to go with me that would be wonderfull. Its always easier with others - especially in the beginning ! Huggs - Robingirl

[Jenniferritchie]

Hi i see from the replies that most were from our sisters in the USA. So i thought iwould mention that as i come from Scotland, i attend a group in Glasgow and as others have stated these groups are a good place to start your public life in safety, however as uor group is only once a month, it creates its own problems if a girl would like to grow and develop her public growth, i am just at the point were i would like to try and step out and enjoy the freedom to go shopping and do the day to day aspects of living. iI feel that i have not got the confidence to do this alone and finding a sister to support me in this is difficult, from the point of find time when we both can get together.

Oh well i will just have to keep trying to build the courage to tackle this as much as i can.

[trannie T]

I go to a meeting of the Diablo Valley Girls in Walnut Creek, California once a year. I live too far away to attend more often. They are a very friendly organization and I've been made to feel very welcome at every meeting. They meet the first and third mondays of the month, they have a web site for more information. I highly recommend them.

[Cathy_NJ]

I have to agree with most of the girls on this subject. I have been a member of the tri-ess group in South Jersey for the past year. From talking to some of the girls and doing some research i could see where at one point it was very successfull, but now there are very small turn-outs and the group is not doing well at all. There is just not enough participation and enthusiam right now so I am not going to renew my membership this month. I intend to try another group calle Renaissance which i understand is more active and where the girls go out after the meeting. This particular chapter is in the King of Prussia area outside of Philadelphia. If any other girls in New Jersey or Pa would like to go with me that would be wonderfull. Its always easier with others - especially in the beginning ! Huggs - Robingirl

Robin

Thank you for this post, I was considering going to a triess mtg, actually it was more like trying to talk myself into it, and I was looking for some real input about that group.

Thanks again, Cathy

[Sally24]

I have never had any interaction with Triess but I do attend a couple of local groups around Boston. GNO (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Gurlsn...lub_Boston_Ma/) and Sisters(http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_boston/).

They meet at a local bar first and talk and mingle for 2-3 hours, then a smaller contingent of gurls go out to one of the clubs in Boston to dance until 2am when the city shuts down all the drinking establishments. It really does depend on the gurls involved what kind of mood and dynamic you feel there.

Good Luck!

Sally

[Amy Hepker]

I recently went to my Third CD meeting (the first 2 were many years ago) it was as the first times very memerable. Everyone treated me as I have always been their friend. I am planning to go back again. It is nice being around people you can relate to and feel good without feeling wierd or out of place. I am sorry that you had problems at your first meeting. This world has all kinds of people and I guess you can have that anywhere.

[sterling12]

As I have stated before, I think every CD should try to belong to a support group. For socializing, for support, for camaraderie, for help in time of crisis, and because it's often a lot of fun.

I belong to two local groups, both Tri-Ess chapters, and we get involved in some of the darnedest stuff. Every outing is a new adventure. Are these groups perfect? Not hardly, but we are always trying. My two groups seem to be "on the grow", maybe because we are very active and have a lot of committed members. Do we go out after the meetings, do we go out during the month, do we make friends and visit each other? Sure do!

It helps if you are a gregarious person, then you quickly fit in, but I have also seen very timid gurl's actually blossom, when they get exposed to these groups.

Oh, and don't forget the added bonus with Tri-Ess. If you have a wife, she is almost guaranteed to be a lot more tolerant, and perhaps even more accepting of your CD, if she interacts in meetings with other wives of group members.

Should you hook up with National and then join a local group? Oh yeah, should have done that yesterday! For all of you who complain about how you would like to attend but nothing is close....nothing keeps you from forming a chapter. In the absence of action, why don't you begin to make a change, all by yourself. Bet you will soon make a lot of new friends and you will have help.

A final thing. I've talked and counseled with lots of girl's who say they want to attend. Then they lose all courage at the very end. Sometimes, it happens when they are sitting in the parking lot, just about 50 feet from the door to The Meeting Room. Don't be one of them! The first step is the hardest, then it all gets easier and easier, very quickly. Nobody will ever steal your soul at a Tri-Ess meeting. What do you have to lose, probably nothing. What do you have to gain, your well being, friendship, your own acceptance? Sounds like it's worth taking the chance, doesn't it?

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Audrey34]

Thanks Joanie. I just joined the national Tri-ess group and I'm waiting for my pamphlets in the mail. Any positive re-inforcement is a big help. I hope it all works out!
-Audrey