I regularly go out en femme by myself and am hoping that my wife will go out with me some time. I am looking for advice for my wife on what approach she should take.
I would like to hear from CDers and their SOs who go out together en femme on whether he is the husband in a dress, a girl friend or something else. Other things like who does the speaking in public such as ordering at a restaurant. How do SOs tune out their embarrassment? Any other thoughts would be appreciated to assist my wife.
[SIZE="3"]When I go out with my GF, that’s what we are girlfriends, she has gotten used to being out with me and is not embarrassed being seen with me. We go almost anywhere but she doesn’t like that I push it sometimes as to what I will do. When out I try to blend in the way I dress, and do speak but I limit what I say to others. Remember gestures can give you away as fast as speaking.[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Life Begins When You Stop Worrying What Other People Think[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Walk TALL SMILE and be CONFIDENT all will be OK[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]It's Brave to be Different, Be Brave Too, Accept Me for Who I am ![/SIZE]
Hi there; the 1st time my wife and I ventured out (many mnay years ago) we both looked fantastic and acted as two girls out for the night. We drove into the city on a Saturday night and headed for the university bar that in those days was known as an alternative bar where pretty much everyone was who they wanted to be. It was nerve racking walking up to the front door and I did do a couple of u turns; big chicken was my wifes reply the second time and so in we went. Door man was great and very chatty and was so pleased to see two new faces, we stayed for about 3 hours, listened to some great music and even plucked up the nerve to dance. At 2AM we were sitting by the lake enjoying and lovely spring evening. We both had a great night. Samantha
My wife and I go out as two girlfriends. We have alot of fun shopping and doing tourist things. It's really great to go to shows and musicals together! She speaks more, but doesn't order for me (my voice is fair, but not great. Needs more work). You have to have patience and behave like a girlfriend. Don't get pushy and demanding or controlling. We are already high maintenaince guys, don't need to be that way as girls!
If you're planning at passing or at least blending in, then you have to put the work into it. Unless you're unusually tall, you can at least blend in when riding in the car or seated at a facility. You have to do your best to be her girlfriend in appearance and behavior. It really is worth the work you put into it.
Sally
Michelle I think it is great yoru wife wants to go out with you. I often feel better if I know we are going to a place that we are familiar with or he had been to before {this was when we just got married}. Of course now I know more about our tg-friendly city than my hubby!
For us if we are in a mainstream club or restaraunt or shoping area, we are
two girlfriends. And this is difficult, as I usually hold *his* hand in public. So no PDA's and a little space between us. If we are going to a tg friendly venue or restaraunt then pretty much anything goes as far as holding hands and shows of affections.
BUT she needs to only do what she is comfortable doing. I would not press her for a kiss if she does not normally do that with you even in guy mode. Some women are just not touchy feely that way.
I usually let my sweetie order for herself. I just find that if she uses a low enough voice that is fine. Most nicer restarunats dont' care because they seem more tolerant to the ecentricies of their customers.
So far my sweetie has never done anything that embarrassed me, but maybe I don't embarrass easily.
As for any negative or rude people you two may encounter....well most of the times I find they make the person saying them look way lamer than my hubby dressing as a girl. I can still remember going down an escalator in a MAJOR mall and this young man and his buddies noticing us, one guy says loudly "that's a MAN!".....now the funny part was there was women in front of us, and women behind us, no one looked at us at all, they all glared at thsi idiot. Should have seen the dirty looks he got! I guess all the women though they were being signaled out. PRICELESS!
Originally Posted by Michelle (Oz)
Hi Michelle, my wife and I go out as "two women" on a regular basis and I have to say, my wife is also like kathyGG, she still sees me as her husband and so sometimes can't help herself and be affectionate towards me in public. I could tell you some interesting stories about how we sometimes "forget" that I'm dressed as a woman and do things that are far too much of a PDA than they should be for two GG friends in public
What you have to do is "think girl" tell yourself that you are a woman and therefore should behave appropriately.....meaning, treat your wife as your best GG friend. Your wife should think the same thoughts about you too, you are her best GG friend. You said "How do SOs tune out their embarrassment?" ....err...well I don't know, my wife has never been embarrassed about being out with me en femme in public, however that said, before we did actually go out together she did "go to town on me" and make sure I had a really good wig and that my makeup was as perfect as she could make it, plus that my clothes were appropriate for the occasion. I don't know if your SO is like my wife or not, but Marla prefers to have her own hair and makeup looking good too, so that she feels confident in herself. If she's feeling confident about herself she can go anywhere, and do anything with me, even in the most regular of places in broad daylight, with lots of people all around....and sometimes really close up. Speaking?....Marla takes care of all of that, although recently I've been saying a few (short) things when I order. Mostly though, I just smile a lot
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The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
i like most of the other girls have had the same types of experiences and we are just like any to girls going out shopping/dinner/movie or what ever we want
susie
I've gotta fess up and admit that this thread made me take stock and analyze the single time (so far) my wife and I were out together with me en femme. We went to a TG boutique followed by dinner at a restaurant which we were tipped was also TG friendly. Reading this post and the responses kind of hit me. That day, last Friday, my wife interracted with me as she would have had I been in male mode. I don't have nor use a female name so she called me by my real name. I introduced myself as such to others as well. Most interesting to me is that in retrospect, our dining out was just as though we were there as a normal married couple. In fact, I don't recall acting any different once seated than I would have in male mode. I had a slight hesitation on entering the establishment, but once there, I spoke with the serving staff in my normal voice, just as I would have out of women's clothes. Until now, I really had not thought about that.
So, I would have to say I'm swimming against the tide here. When we go out, I'm still her husband, just dressed differently. Having just begun to dress more fully and only once going out that way together, I am apparently more comfortable being a guy dressed as a female and maybe looking rediculous than a guy trying to sound and act like a woman. I really don't think I could pull that one off. Sorry to spoil the trend, but thought I'd share my revelation.
heelme
Thanks for all the very helpful responses to date. I am cutting and pasting them to give my wife. That includes the response from heelme ... I don't pass but try to blend.
The thought behind my question on speaking was whether my wife would be less embarrassed if she did the talking. When I go out en femme by myself I have no hesitation striking up a conversation in the appropriate circumstances. People do like honesty rather than disception.
Any more experiences greatfully received.
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