Gender 101 - final essay question

[Amanda Jane]

I have a question, and its very serious. Why is it that over on the other board they absolutely worship the GGs. Like from god's lips to their ears. And there are lots of GGs who post there. Who give tips there. Who welcome the MtFs as 'one of the girls.'

So, where are the GMs around here? Do you encourage them to join and participate?

Do you want to be 'one of the guys' in the same way that the CDs want to be 'one of the girls'?

Or is being a FtM a horse of a different color than being a MtF? Is is a coin reverse, different sides of the same deal? Or is it a whole different deal, steaming from different reasons, a differing set of causes and with an entirely different outcome as the desired result?

Take your time, I love long answers.

[CaptLex]

Oh, that's a complicated question, Amanda Jane. I'm sure there are several reasons for the difference between the MtF side and the FtM side.

First, I would say that a lot of the GGs on this forum are SOs of some of the MtF CDs and TSs, so there's already a connection between those two groups. Some of us have SOs, but not all, and most of those are not on the forum.

There's also the difference that there are probably more MtF CDs than MtF TSs on the forum, while the reverse is probably true on this side (more FtM TSs than FtM CDs).

GMs are absolutely welcome here for support, information and exchange of ideas - or just to hang out and get to know. So, if you spot any lurking about, point them this way.

Not sure if I answered your question completely . . .

[joanlynn28]

I don't really know, I think that you maybe creating a hornets nest of ideas about this question. I guess you could call me a GM because that is what I was born as, but as a MTF in transition I detest being a GM and am doing everything is my power to correct that birth defect to the best of my resources. I mean there are some GM's on this side of the threads but we don't want to be identified as such, at least this one does. But you may have said it best that we are two distinct breeds of the same animal in regards to MTF's and FTM's. But I can't speak for the FTM's you would have to ask the Capt or others for that. And I tend to stay on the transexual forum side of this site because that is what I am. I do find the male crossdresser forum good for a few laughs occasionally but I don't identify with the crossdressers, I mean I started out as a crossdresser till I finally figured it all out that yes I am truly a transexual. The crossdresser will embrace dressing up for short periods but me it has to be fulltime or not at all. I mean we are here the GM's you just don't recognize us at first because the majority of us are in stealth mode.

[pocoyo]

Ok bear with me, I'm sleepy hehe! But I will try and answer sensibly...

I don't think there are many GM's around here (apart from lots of the MtFs but I'm not sure they count!) I think like Cap said...a lot of the GG's on the MTF side are actually significant others.
If there were GMs on the boards then it would be cool for them to be here.

Hmm being 'one of the guys'. Well I guess we don't have to try to be one of the guys, because most of us already feel that we are.

Yes I would say that being FtM is different than the majority of MtF's here... because it seems that most of them are crossdressers, with only a few transexual members.
Most of the FtMs here are pretty near to being transexual, or actually transexual. So I would say that we are the same/similar creature in reverse to the transexual MtFs (of which there are few here compared to the huge number of crossdressers) but we are certainly a different creature from the crossdressing MtFs.

You don't see many FtM's that are just crossdressers (here at least) because for a female to be considered a crossdresser you have to be pretty hardcore... like, actually questioning your gender. ('cos men are considered crossdressing when even wearing 1 female item, wheras it's more acceptable for woman to wear mens clothing). So you don't see many women (who are happy being women) that sometimes dress specifically as men.... well apart from drag kings!
There are probably a bunch of crossdressing women who don't even know they are crossdressers!

The guys here though, in the main, are transexual or seriously wondering about their gender.

You might think to yourself "so then why are you on a crossdressing site?" well the reason for that is because there aren't many places for us to go. This is one of very FEW places that are available to us to meet and support each other.
Plus of course all types of transgenderism interlink and crossover to some degree.

Sorry, I know this doesn't seem to make much sense.
If you want me to re-explain something in a more understandable way just say hehe!

This is roughly how I personally see it at the moment, something like this:
MtF CDs - People with a male body, many of which are happy being men, but enjoy dressing as women.
MtF transexual - A lady with a male body, unless they have transitioned, then they are just a lady. A lady born with a male body.
FtM CD - Fairly rare due to women not being considered crossdressers & many probably not even realising they are crossdressers. However there are FtM crossdressers. A woman, who is mainly content being a woman, but likes to dress as a man sometimes.
Many (most?) FtM that have come out as being FtM* - People born with a female body who are questioning their gender. Many of which are transexual (a boy/man with a female body...unless they have transitioned, in which case they are simply a boy/man.)
Genderqueer - someone with a male or female body, that can choose between being male, or female, or something in between, whenever they want.
GG - Genetic girl. Female, with a female body since birth, who is pretty content to be a female.
GM - Genetic male. Male, with a male body since birth, who is pretty content to be male.

(Of course there are also many variants within these groups.)

But anyway, despite similarities even between members of the same "groups", I think that also every single person is probably unique in their particular transgenderism/gender anyway!
Plus, I also think that every person is male and female personality wise anyway, to varying degrees. We're all just people. It's just what we feel happy with body-wise and socially etc.

Lol, writing this post was like expanding on my signature.

Hope that was of help or something.
Cheers!
pocoyo

* I don't mean coming out to family & friends... I mean coming out even to just themselves, or a counsellor, or this board etc. Basically, that they have questioned their gender enough to seek help and guidance about it.

[Kimberley]

If I can toss in worth?

Like Pocs and the Capn said, most of the F2M's here are either TG or TS. (I classify genderqueer in that category of TG not that the label means a thing). A lot of the GM's who float around here (myself included) identify the same way so there is a natural bond of mutual interest to begin with. In many ways this forum is an extension of the TS forum with a twist, in my view.

Now, being TS doesnt mean that I can ignore my history. It does mean I can draw on my life experiences to help the F2M's just as they can do for me and others (and believe me, some of these guys have done more than they know.) So, while identifying as TS I am still GM (like it or not) and can provide support to the guys on that basis. Where they dont want it they let it be known as in "F2M ONLY!!!" Simple huh?

Uh Cap'n, does that add up to worth yet?

Love yas all.
Kimberley

[celeste26]

As a Gm/CD I find that I am going fast in the opposite direction from the FtM crowd and as we cross in the middle there is precious little time for conversation since the FtM side is leaving the very thing we GM/CDs desire. While I certainly dont go around begrudging the FtM their desires, my interests lie in a different direction so don't take the lack of exchange as anything more than what it is passing trains in the night.

[dancinginthedark]

Ok bear with me, I'm sleepy hehe! But I will try and answer sensibly[...]

FtM CD - Fairly rare due to women not being considered crossdressers & many probably not even realising they are crossdressers. However there are FtM crossdressers. A woman, who is mainly content being a woman, but likes to dress as a man sometimes.

Genderqueer - someone with a male or female body, that can choose between being male, or female, or something in between, whenever they want.

[SIZE=1]Still trying to wake up here too kiddo. all around.[/SIZE]

Off topic but....[SIZE=1]
mod's delete at will. No offense would be taken.
[/SIZE]
ohhhhhhhh shite. Now I get what the MTF's were trying to say when they'd tell us that some correction most of us GG's are at least part-time FTM CDs. & :hmmm: Doh!

I underlined the part that had a light bulb going off over my head. Sign me up guys. I am a part-time FTM CD and a full time genderqueer. Maybe we need another section?? I admit reading here at the site had me wondering already but pocoyo's words seem to have sealed the deal.

dancin

[Kimberley]

Hey Dancin, we have another member? Yayyyy!

Cool. We need more, lots more.


Kimberley

[CaptLex]

Sign me up guys. I am a part-time FTM CD and a full time genderqueer. Maybe we need another section?? I admit reading here at the site had me wondering already but pocoyo's words seem to have sealed the deal.

dancin

Ha, ha . . . welcome to the club! No hard and fast rules here, really - you are what you feel you are, and you fit in wherever you feel you fit in. Sounds like you can identify with at least two groups here, and I'm sure you're not the only one whose identity overlaps. Actually, there is one rule here: don't let anybody put you in a box and stick a label on you.

[CaptLex]

Uh Cap'n, does that add up to worth yet?

Love yas all.
Kimberley

Looks like about a dollar's worth, but it's all good.

[Marcie Sexton]

I welcome them all. Perhaps we can let them know we are not the sicko's some would have them believe. As a matter of fact perhaps they could find a person in themselves they never knew existed...I know I found my real self after much debate with in...and wasn't en-femme either...just a lot more tolerant...

[Felix]

Great thread Just wabted to say I agree Genderqueer is within the transgendered spectrum. I saw some interesting video's of genderqueer ppl on here that someone put on they were so enlightening. Being genderqueer to them meant having their bodies the way they wanted them which meant some had surgery and hormones some fully transitioned in the end and some didn't go on hormones and some didn't transition. They were good clips and gave me greater understanding xx Felix

[Kimberley]

I think a lot more TG/TS people fall into that realm than we realize. I wont say it is a "bad" thing in any way because full transition is not for everybody. I prefer to think of it as non-op TS parking lot. Some will transition, some wont but that doesnt make them/us any less in gender identity. What it does is ask each of us to question why we are not going ahead at this particular time. Sometimes those answers are a real source of stress in their own right.

Just more of my musing....


Kimberley