Would you let your children crossdress?

[Kelsy]

my children have no Idea that I CD. I think it would be devastating to them.
I brought my boys up to be men both in the military and my daughter loves her dad as the man she has always known. But if any one of my kids were to acually be a CDer then I would accept them. I makes no difference to me. then and only then upon hearing that news would I consider coming out to them.
they are grown and there is no reason to change their veiw of me.

Jennifer

[Amanda Jane]

my kids knew, it did not stop them from being normal, playing sports, getting on the honor role in college, having GFs and all that. Kids are a lot more flexable then we think they are. So they think their parents are a bit weird. Don't all kids think that?

[amanda barber]

Well, if I had children, I would discourage them from crossdressing - saying it leads to a life of unpopularity, discrimination (jobs and social), and that people hate you for it.

Hopefully any children you would have would be the casual type crossdresser that just like the cloths a bit. Anything deeper and you would have children that later in life would be prone to personality disorders, (HUGE axis 2), self hate, self medication, severe depression and addictions.

I would mainly do it for fear that God would judge me in corrupting my children if I let them crossdress.

Sounds like you would be doing it for your self interest, not theirs.

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"]As parents we mold the lives of out children by what we say and do. We can show them what is right and wrong, guide them, dry their tears, hold their hands, but that’s all we can do, as children grow to be adults they make their own choices, as we have made our own. My parents do not know, my mother caught me when I was 8 and told me not to do it again, and that’s as far as it went, but mothers have a sixth sense and I wouldn’t discount her having Ideas that it never stopped there, but she never said anything to anyone that I know of. [/SIZE]

[Kimberley]

I would neither encourage nor discourage it in ANY child. I would let them decide for themself.

What I would do:
-Protect them from physical and emotional harm
-Educate them about social attitudes
-Assist them in making informed choices
-Ensure they do not mix sexuality and gender definition

If my child showed signs of being TS:
-I would do all of the above plus ensure that s/he received the best of gender counselling and medical treatment until they were old enough to decide whether transition was for them.

As a parent, this is my view of protecting my child and that is my first responsibility. My personal feelings and beliefs are secondary to the needs of the child; always.



Kimberley

[Lady Katherine]

Most of us here are giving the same answers. No, we wouldn't encourage crossdressing in our children, but we would be understanding, providing them the best counseling affordable and giving them our blessing if they were so inclined. That's because we have lived through it, trying to be 'men,' when we wanted to be girls or women, or at least that we wanted to dress as girls or women.

Sadly, most parents have not faced the same challenges, and the initial reaction is one of shock and dismay and a desire to punish or to severly change the child's tendencies.

I am 77 years old, have wonderd about my gender since about age 11. My teen years were pretty tortuous, but worked hard to be 'manly.' I am father of five and raised two grandchildren; none ever knew of my crossdressing, to my knowledge. If any had shown an interest, I'd have done as most of you would, try to assist them to making the correct choices.

I often wonder what would have happened if I had been born 50 years later, when more was known about CDing, and my parents would have supported me. My inclinations would have been to transition, I think. Instead, I worked at being a father and a success in my work; we have a close family, which I cherish.

Maybe my desires to be female were not as strong as others here, though I feel they are so real. Nonetheless, I have no regrets at having lived as a male, although I think I should have been otherwise. Do I make sense?

[bobbijo]

I have two sons and one daughter, they didn't know that I am a crossdresser until after my wife caught both sons dressing. We then had very long talk with them They still dress and we still love them. One son is now married and his wife knows and is supportive also.

[Helen MC]

It would to me be the ultimate in hypocrisy to cross-dress oneself yet deny this to one's children whether an M to F son or F to M daughter.

I deliberately did not father children as I could see for a long time that this conflict could arise. To be honest I dodn't have a lot of time for children anyway, having had enough childhood of my own to do me, so I have never regretted this decision. It would have been difficult for me had I begat sons as I have never been the Butch Macho type and have no interest in any competitive sports, rough and tumble games, camping, hunting etc, etc, etc. I would NOT have been an ideal male role model for them .

However let me go with the idea of this thread. If a son of mine had wanted to CD I would have explained all the potential pit-falls , how he could be mocked and even physically assaulted. If his mother had no problems I would also have none about him dressing as a Girl at home and of course he could wear panties 24/7 as I do, obviously wearing a plain and non-suss pair when he did PE or Gym or even if he could tolerate it, having to wear male underpants on such occasions as I had reluctantly to do when a teenager and still doing Sports etc at school. As to going out dressed that could be fraught with all sorts of difficulties and I would explain that to him. I don't go out dressed externally en-femme anyway and didn't do so when I was married (we had no kids, she didn't want to be a mother).

If I had a daughter who was F to M, it would probaly be easier as in the real world a woman can wear male clothing outdoors with little or no comment unlike the situation for a M to F male. If she wished she could wear jeans, trousers, male jackets etc, and as underwear Y-Fronts, Boxer Shorts or whatever. It might be a bit more awkward in society if she wanted to "pack" or have facial hair etc.

[carolinewalker_2000]

So many of the replies to this thread give thoughtful replies, and I must agree with most of what has been said.

I think my bottom line would have to be that it would be hypocritical to try and stop a child from cross-dressing when I know I have been unable to stop myself.

[Samantha Lough]

If it was as simple as would or would not then I would say no but from my own knowledge and what I have found out well about me it is not just a compulsion but a genetic need (xxy chromosone) and well if my son had the need and or the want I woul dmake sure he did not go thru the hell I and the rest of us have gone thru and i woul dhelp him out.

[TiffanyTgirl]

I will not let my son know. I don't want to influence him one way or another. If he discovers cd'ing on his own, then I would be supportive and help him to see all the pros and cons. It really is a lonely road to be on.

[Bluebird GG]

in the end it is up to them, especially when 18 but as for kids, i would try to voice my opinion but in the end they are individuals whatever age they are, age holds no barriers, if they feel passionate about it, go for it, u only live once!

[Rhonda Jean]

Unfortunately, sometimes being a parent = being a hypocrite. My wife knows I crossddress. My kids do not. I would be crushed if they found out. Even more crushed if they crossdressed themselves. I'm already hypocritical. I have long hair, always have, yet I "strongly discourage" my boys from having long hair. I see long hair as kind of a "gateway drug" to crossdressing. Was for me. I'm a light smoker. My kids don't know,and, again, I'd be crushed if they smoked. Am I the only one? How many of you drink? Do you allow your kids to? Haven't we all done things that we'd be horrified if our kids did it. Again, being a parent = being a hypocrite.

My mother had a problem with the hypocrital aspect of parenting. She was a smoker. When she caught me smoking when I was very young, she felt like she couldn't tell me not to as long as she was doing it. She continued to smoke. So did I. I'd probably be better off if she'd been hypocritical.

[Robin Leigh]

Many of the posts in this thread so far have made me sad. We obviously have a long way to go. I believe it will be a lot easier for the up & coming generation(s) of CDers, though.

If you don't know by now, I am here to tell you, love is acceptance. I love my children, they are good kids, no matter how they percieve themselves.

Thanks for this wonderful post, Bethany!

Will you adopt me? I don't eat much, and I promise to keep my room tidy.



Robin

PS. You can't influence someone into CDing if they weren't born with some kind of TG propensities. The story of David Reimer illustrates this quite clearly.

[Tammietoo]

So many good responses. Its just that my parents didn't know I dressed and probably wouldn't have been very accepting, but the fact of the matter is that it wouldn't have mattered what they said--crossdressing is part of me and its not something that I could be "talked out of." My own life experiences would have me wish for my child not to crossdress, but they are who they are. I think lots of talking, some conseling and boundaries would be in order if this was to come to light. As pointed out, it would be the ultimate hypocracy to tell them they couldn't, when truthfully I would stop dressing if only I could, but I simply can't.

[Marianna Julianna]

Yes, I would allow it, I'm not sure I would encourage my son to crossdress but if it turned out he was that way then I wouldn't say no way! I would be in a perfect position of course to explain all the pain and suffering which it puts you through, but then hopefully with support he would find it easier to come to terms with than I did and not have all those painful years trying to be someone he's not. As far as I'm concerned it would be the same if he turned out to be homosexual, he can only be what he is, that's all anyone can be and he's the most precious thing in my life and always will be. There are certain things, of course, that I would discourage him from, alcohol, drugs, smoking, and do, others things too. I don't think he will though, he's such a happy well adjusted boy, unlike how I was at his age. He seems more than happy just being himself, bless him.

[Lucille]

I would do as most of the others have said.

Besides, what really impressed me of this topic is exactly that almost everyone has given the same answer. We do it, but we would prefer those we love to stay away from it: because it can be difficult, it can give problems - maybe it isn't worth it? That's what struck me more: of course here there are some people that could not accept themselves yet, but I know many others do - still everybody seems to think this is an hard life.. that makes me wonder: are we really happy with what we have, and what we are?

[RobertaFermina]

I am happy with being a Cross-Dresser.

I am not entirely happy with some of the costs of being a Cross-Dresser.

When I run up against people judging and acting from ignorance, and ignorance reinforced as faux-wisdom, I have to work around it, avoid it, or take the heat.

I don't have a problem with CrossDressing....just with the people who do.

So I would tell my child what to expect.

If the child were just dabbling and expirementing...I suspect this might be a sobering thought. If the child were acting from identity, I am sure it wouldn't make any difference at all.

In any case, I would be supportive.

Roberta

[notquitegirl]

If my son came to me and told me this is who he is, I would encourage him to find as much courage within himself as there was to live out his crossdressing in the way best for him, which is something that most of us have yet to do. With some luck, and a different attitude out there, he would have better success than I have to date.

[janedoe311]

They are only interested in girl things. In any case it is OK for girls to crossdress.

[tommi]

My 13yo son knows I dress, and he lives with me. (His mothers boyfriend told him that I dress) I do not dress when he is with me. My family and his mother are dead scared that he will also want dress. They do know I do not encourage it.

If he had the desire to dress, it really depends on his age, I would firstly try to talk him out of it as it can be a very lonley road to take as I have found out. Give hiom all the facts, good and bad.

If his mother got any indication that he was dressing I'm sure I would end up back in family court. THe family court also knows I dress but I won custody, for a nimber of reasons and I assured them (the court) I would not encorage it or dress in his presence.

Once he is at an age of say over 16yo and he had the burning desire and it would not go away, I would help him. I know in my case it started at a much earler age.

I hope it never happens.

What you are doing takes a ton of courage and sacrifice I applaud you.

[Kate Simmons]

The closest thing my two sons ever did to CDing was go to The Rocky Horror Picture Show in drag. A lot of kids do that though, so I wasn't too concerned. Other than that, they are all around American men with no interest in dressing.

[JulieC]

How do you crossdressers out there handle your children? Would you buy an outfit for them?

I have all girls. But, should any of them find they are TG in one form or another, I'll be supportive.

I don't think discouraging things is a way forward. I've heard far too many tales of young men getting "the lecture" from parents after their stash was discovered (myself included). All I've ever heard of it doing is cutting off one aspect of the relationship child-parent, and keeping things even more hidden and secretive. I think this is unhealthy.

No, if I had a boy who wanted to dress up en femme I'd teach him how to manage it appropriately so as to cause only as much exposure to himself as he wanted...after I'd instructed him about how society handles this and given him substantial resources to learn to understand this aspect of himself. Same goes for having a girl who wanted to crossdress.

Yes, I'd be quite happy to buy things for them. If my boy wanted to spend his weekends in a dress, hose, and heels it'd be fine with me so long as he goes along with agreed upon rules; same goes for any other activity. Same goes if a girl of mine wanted to wear boy clothes around on weekends.

I just don't believe in repression as a healthy means to an end. I spent years upon years attempting to repress this aspect of myself to no positive effect. In fact, I now regret so many years missed of dressing more fully en femme than I did then; I've found I *really* enjoy wearing heels and only recently discovered that

[Michelia]

My two wonderful kids spend about 50% of the time with their daddy crossdressed. It just has not affected them in any way but positively. Maybe all this has to do with the fact that I never crossdressed as a young person. I never suffered all the insults and carried the burdens most of you have. My perspective is so different. Maybe I am lucky indeed. Maybe I am totally nuts.
On the flip side, I am so jealous of many of you because I never enjoyed this gift while I was young. But my experience crossdressing has been nothing short of wonderful in every way except that I cannot practice it in public and I am too old to do certain things I would like. It has made me so much closer to my loved ones. It has also inspired all of us to be ourselves. It has taught us to communicate better.
So how could I ever even attempt to censure one of my kids when I know all I already know? I would never add to their suffering. Neither of them show any signs of inheriting this "gift" - but if they did, I would encourage them in every way.

Michelia

[Sally2005]

I would probably try to remain neutral. It is difficult to explain, but when you are exploring you don't really welcome someone who tells you what you will discover and how to get there. So I would let them explore and answer questions if they ask but otherwise they need to experience it themselves. Same goes for other activities, as long as they are not causing or heading for injury.