Once again you all have given amazingly thoughtful and worthwhile answers to my question. Here's the next step: HOW to tell her. More details:
1. I've been dressing maybe 3 years, we've been married 8.
2. I've gone out to clubs dressed (all out of town), maybe 4 times. but never have been unfaithful.
3. She's open minded about most things -- but I have no idea what her reaction would be. Once I asked to wear her panties during sex, and she was ok with that.
4. We have two young children.
How would you approach this? Or how DID you approach it in your life?