How does your gender identification affect your carreer?

[diane59]

For those of us that work, I would be curious how the feminine or masculine (if f-m) affects your decisions and actions with your careers. I am in Resort management and my feminine side seems to make me a little more compassionate towards my guests and their various issues. Whereas most men in my field of work are very demanding and straight forward in their tasks. I actually think it has made me a better manager in that I am in the top 1% of the salary range for my profession.

[Amy Hepker]

In the winter time I am able to wear under clothes under my Male attire at work. I am a truck driver and it helps me thinking that I can enjoy my femine side whil I work. In the summer it's different story. I can't wear anything then, maybe panties. That will be better than nothing. It does make me more mellow with all the idiots on the road.

[Maggie Kay]

I have a small business which serves mainly males. This group would be very uneasy to know anything about my feminine side. A definite stressor for me to act the part all the time. Good thing though is that it is mostly Internet based so there is little face to face meetings. I did a show last summer and was it ever difficult. I had no idea I had changed so much. I just felt completely out of place.

[jozee]

congrats. treat others as you want to be treated works good, except with the ex!

[suzi_cd]

Doesn't affect me - when I'm at work I'm a man working in a predominantly male environment and I behave like that.... ok so I'm wearing sexy underwear but apart from that.....

Suzi is for evenings and weekends..

I like it that way - it makes the contrast even more obvious.

suzi

xxx

[diane59]

In the winter time I am able to wear under clothes under my Male attire at work. I am a truck driver and it helps me thinking that I can enjoy my femine side whil I work. In the summer it's different story. I can't wear anything then, maybe panties. That will be better than nothing. It does make me more mellow with all the idiots on the road.

Aw, you took all the fun out of it. I was depending on the truck drivers to look down and see my legs sticking out from my skirt

[ColleenCD]

While I can accomplish the same work or more than most others in my male dominated work environment, I am absolutely more relational than task oriented. Colleen isn't seen at work, but she's always there to offer advise and support.

Colleen

[Wendi0012]

working in a man's world sucks I love myself as wendi but in a prodominatly male shop I have to play the guy role which stinks come on loser guys grab a skirt and join the club

[PatyR]

Right now I'm studying, so I don't feel any pressure.

Before, I used to travel a lot for the company I worked for, so I could really enjoy myself; daily when I arrived to the hotel, I dressed up and stayed that way all evening without anybody bothering me, but I never felt completely comfortable using my clothes, even my panties, while at work.

[melissaK]

I'm a consultant - business dispute specialist. You wear a lot of hats that call for different talents.

When it's all about interacting with and pleasing an audience, that feminine sensitive, compassionate streak Diane59 refers to usually serves me well. I listen well and read emotions of people and I seem better at reading the relationship based problems much like CollenCD mentioned. That includes getting people to play well together. And at negotiating time, I hide my own emotions better (hey, anyone who can hide in acloset as long as I is good at hiding), and I can sense weaknesses better than most.

But, this feminine sensitivity streak doesn't always work.

A lot of my clients are the "alpha male dog" in their world, and these are "men" who enforce gender based glass ceilings in their own world - and I swear I trip their early warning radar. (Let's see doesn't golf, doesn't go to titty bars or demean women in conversation, scowls at crude sexist humor like their mother would, wears a nice cologne, compliments waitresses on their nail jobs; I can't see what they're picking up on! )

So for these clients I partner up with someone who can exude Neanderthalic alpha maleness in a peer to peer, non threatening way. I plan solutions, and negotiate better than he, but I need him to get those "alpha male" clients to hire me to begin with, and to get them to listen to my solutions. Needless to say we are a bit of an odd couple as business partners. We have a good track record though.

And, no, he doesn't know.

[RobertaFermina]

My gender *MISIDENTIFICATION* has caused me no end of grief.

I have kept trying to solve problems by attacking them, when that is not my gift.

I get anxious whenever time passes without some tangible result, and the anxiety builds into a panic.

What I do best is listen, communicate, and remain patient until I am inspired to take appropriate or 'elegant' action. One thing I have always avoided in my masculine intention is to "read the fine manual." So many of my problems have been due to the "male phobia towards getting help and seeking directions."

In my recovery around this I am watching when the fear, and panic rises, and realizing I will not die, and this stuff is likely just a masculine-mirage.

Add to that the 'feeling' that I am on the right track with whatever I am doing is valid. Feelings are validating messengers....not every sign of progress is tangible.


Roberta

[Christina Nicole]

I'm an IT consultant and formerly a software sales person. Like Melissa, I don't golf or do any of those other sports things. Took one really big client, who was pretty insistent, to the nudie bars once. Once was enough!

Fortunately, in IT consulting, buying clients lunch is enough and plenty of them are women! I don't think being ts (of the non-transitioning sort) makes much difference in my work. Except having yet another expensive avocation, I do have a even more incentive to work harder because not only does "he" need a new boat, car, computer, stereo, etc, but "she" needs new shoes, clothes, accessories, makeup. And so it goes.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Bethany Ann]

Not at all...tomorrow I have to give a public hearing for 300 people...if they only knew what I will be wearing under that suit they would faint. Let alone how I will be dressed there and back....lets just say I will look more like my secretary in a tigh business suit. I find I have less reason to judge people and more reason to listen and accept.

Bethany.

[noname]

I over dress for work. I figure if I can't be happy with the dress code I might as well go all the way. Unfortunately we have a very sexist dress code and the women might as well light it on fire because they don't adhear to it anyway. Being as I work with mostly all women, it's difficult to keep my mouth shut with many of the comments and asumptions they make about men.

[jo_ann]

I think I'm pretty easy going and nice to co-workers.. I know there's a lot of uptight men who are all about placing blame and increasing productivity. I can tell I'm different from most men because the women (the few that there are in my area) tend to smile and be more friendly towards me than most.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

I'm all man at work..it's the only time that I am totally "homme". I think I relate to the women better than most..thats when I'm not caught studying the eye make up!!!! they think I'm just making eye contact..ha ha

[Robyn B]

Depends on the situation...in my environment at times it's most productive to behave in the alpha-male mode, at other times mentally switch gears to be a bit more emotionally intelligent. I think the female side has been nurtured a bit by my 'hobbie' -- overall I think it has made me a better manager.

I work mostly with women. The biggest gender issue I have is not joining in on the discussion I hear regarding weekend shopping finds! I try my best to look bored and annoyed....but pay attention to every word!

[Bethanygirl]

I am a housewife, so I would say it has enhanced my career!

[joanlynn28]

I am a mechanic but everyday I am taking the steps to going full time in womenhood. Have of my coworkers know about me wanting to transition because I have told a few all about it. I have even gone to HR about it and a lawyer from SF is coming in on Friday to meet and discuss all about it. I can't see myself staying at my current job, eventually I will have to get an office job within my company. Working out on the production floor is no place for a girl to be working.

[dods460]

I'm a welder so with the enviroment I tend not to put on any make up, my personality is the same whether I'm dressed or not.

[Kimberley]

Let's say that gender dysphoria got the better of me. I was in an alpha male and abusive environment. Kept more or less quiet for 7 years then walked because I could not continue to put up with the sexism (I felt it even though it went to the GG's), the verbal abuse, the lying and cheating. Top that off with a senior management demand for me to falsify quality documents (auto industry and DOD) and that was it. Buh bye.

What can I say? E T H I C S!