Passing, will the day come when it will not matter?

[Lovely Rita]

I have read a lot of threads on passing and I just wanted to throw this out. I have had a fantasy that some day passing will not matter. I know most of us want to pass including me, but would'nt it be wonderful if we did not have to worry so much about passing? Not having to even think about being read but just being me. I think it would be great to think of a day when we could just be pretty and feminine without having to worry about passing. A time when this world will not care about us wearing dresses and all the female accoutrements. Some times I wish that everyone could know that I am just a person who loves to wear dresses and such.

Does this sound crazy? I really would love not to think so much about passing and being taken for a woman but just a common every day CD. A time when all the cloak and dagger stuff that accompany our life style just does not exist anymore. A time when we won't have to be surreptious and clandestine about the things we love. When we don't have to pass, which is really a form of deception.

A day when we will have dresses and high heels and nylons that are openly made for us in regular stores. Where dresses can be designed for us taking us into consideration where maybe there is no need for breast forms but sexy, never the less, because they are designed for a man who likes to dress sexy. Just dreaming out loud. Some thing like feminine men's clothing. Where 4" stilleto heels will be sold in my size and I won't have to add two sizes to get the right size for me.

If that day never comes I will continue to live my life but would'nt it be nice. I know there are many brave souls out there who live like this already but I am speaking about the majority of us who don't. Those who, like me, live in the hush hush shadows where only a few, if any, know about our cding.

I hope I can grow in my courage and maybe be part of the cure instead of the disease.


Thanks for letting me share.

[Kimberly]

I would argue that even now, passing does not matter.

From my experience in stepping out, a lot of people read you - but don't actually care all that much!

So: passing? Or just not noticing your existence enough to cast such a judgement?

xx

[JenniferMint]

I have read a lot of threads on passing and I just wanted to throw this out. I have had a fantasy that some day passing will not matter. I know most of us want to pass including me, but would'nt it be wonderful if we did not have to worry so much about passing? Not having to even think about being read but just being me.

This isn't what you had in mind, but I think after I've been on HRT for a year or three, I might not have to worry about passing

[Lovely Rita]

This isn't what you had in mind, but I think after I've been on HRT for a year or three, I might not have to worry about passing

Hi Jennifer

I have seen some post-op TGs that still had to worry.

I would argue that even now, passing does not matter.

From my experience in stepping out, a lot of people read you - but don't actually care all that much!

So: passing? Or just not noticing your existence enough to cast such a judgement?

xx

Hi Kimberly

Judging by all the previous threads on the subject it is still an obsession for many of us.

[Nikki A.]

I agree that it would be nice to have the freedom to dress as we please. Passing is important in that it assures our anonnimity in today's society.
To Kimberly yes it does matter in that there would be no fear of being read and possibly being hurt over it. Or being outed and losing a job, career or family over it.
Maybe the world is changing and it is easier than it was years ago. But change takes time and I think that us baby boomers will be in pampers instead of panties before society will change that much. However I think that we are laying the seed that may make the change.

[Anita]

wouldnt it just be lovely? women dress in mens clothing and that has become totally acceptable so why not visa versa /Hopefully one day but wont be in my lifetime I dont think

[Lovely Rita]

wouldnt it just be lovely? women dress in mens clothing and that has become totally acceptable so why not visa versa /Hopefully one day but wont be in my lifetime I dont think

Who knows maybe some day.

[Nigella]

The fixation with passing is all in the mind of the CD.

99.9% of those you meet don't give a fig, they have their own lives to lead. The 0.1% who do fuss about it arn't worth bothering about anyway.

No GM will ever pass, just be happy with what you have, it makes the experience more fun and less traumatic.

[Karren H]

I would argue that even now, passing does not matter.

From my experience in stepping out, a lot of people read you - but don't actually care all that much!

So: passing? Or just not noticing your existence enough to cast such a judgement?

xx

I agree!!!

Karren

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Rita,

I do agree with you that it would be nice one day, but as with all things in life we can't expect it to handed to us on a plate and so unfortunately it might take some time. I once read something interesting by Dixie Darling. Do you know her? She's quite well known in crossdressing circles on the web. She said quote:

It wasn’t too many years ago when it was unheard of for a woman to be seen in public wearing pants. Public ridicule and disgrace would be heaped upon any female seen attired in this manner. And yet this is a common sight today, be it for the sake of fashion or for the simple reason of comfort. The vast majority of these pant-clad women are not crossdressers by any meaning of the word, even though they are wearing clothing that was once associated strictly with the male gender. Even if they were crossdressers, no one would recognize them as such simply because it is now socially acceptable for a woman to wear what was once exclusively men’s wear. Just what has brought about this acceptance for the fairer sex in our society?

....... to find out her answer go here: http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/dummies.htm

[Lovely Rita]

I agree!!!

Karren

Hi Rita,

I do agree with you that it would be nice one day, but as with all things in life we can't expect it to handed to us on a plate and so unfortunately it might take some time. I once read something interesting by Dixie Darling. Do you know her? She's quite well known in crossdressing circles on the web. She said quote:

It wasn’t too many years ago when it was unheard of for a woman to be seen in public wearing pants. Public ridicule and disgrace would be heaped upon any female seen attired in this manner. And yet this is a common sight today, be it for the sake of fashion or for the simple reason of comfort. The vast majority of these pant-clad women are not crossdressers by any meaning of the word, even though they are wearing clothing that was once associated strictly with the male gender. Even if they were crossdressers, no one would recognize them as such simply because it is now socially acceptable for a woman to wear what was once exclusively men’s wear. Just what has brought about this acceptance for the fairer sex in our society?

....... to find out her answer go here: http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/dummies.htm

Karen you are a hero when it comes to going out and I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Hey Angel thanks for that post. I guess I have to do my part in the war. This is a great place to get the moral support. Hopefully the courage will kick in.

thanks

[Jodi]

I go out regularly. I go shopping, dining, to the theater, etc. I like to go to straight venues and mingle with regular people. Do I totally pass? NO. Do I try to be presentable? YES. I have not been harrassed. I have passed the teenybopper test. If one dresses stylishly and appropriate for the occasion, one can get by. The most important thing is selfconfidence. If you believe you belong and you are dressed like you belong, you will belong.

I have done more outreach while out and about than you can count. I have been read in restaurants, theaters and in malls. Was I hassled? NO. Generally, I can go about my business with no problems, but in close contact, I will be read. Does it matter to me? NO. I am told by people that, yes, I might be a guy, but darn, I know how to present myself. I consistently get compliments on my outfits.

Just get out there. Be confident and have fun.

Jodi

[Marla S]

Passing, will the day come when it will not matter?
Not as long as everybody tries to pass, and those that don't stay at home.
The intention of passing is not to stand out. But somebody who doesn't stand out can't change the view of the people.
On a personal level passing might be a good thing, but it is not suitable to gain acceptance for the TG-community.

Judging by all the previous threads on the subject it is still an obsession for many of us.

What is that for a kind of passing ?
It's predominately annonymous passing. Passing from the distance. Passing for people that don't care or that are highly professional, people you don't know and usually don't want to know.
Going somewhere to a mall, driving outside the town, walking by night down a street, etc.
The latest when it comes to personal contact passing will usually collapse.

Ok, if you are passable you will be bothered less and it might be worth it.
But for a kind of "normal socialization" passing is an utopia usually.
If a "normal socialization" is the goal, the focus shouldn't be passing.

[Sally24]

Some times I wish that everyone could know that I am just a person who loves to wear dresses and such.

I really would love not to think so much about passing and being taken for a woman but just a common every day CD.

Don't forget that many of us do want to be taken for females because we feel we are at least a large part female. The clothing for us is a side benefit, a nice one granted, but secondary to our primary goal of appearing female.

Then there are others such as you where the clothing and the sensuous nature of both the sight and the touch of those clothes is the main goal.

Both CDs, but the attraction and the goals are far different.

Sally

[Wendi0012]

Rita, Hi hun yes it would be nice for the day to come when all of us men yes that is what we all are could just put on our favorites skirts blouses and our fav pumps and go about our days as if evevrthings is the perfect world we wished it to be I myself dress for me and when I venture into society I hold my head high and greet everyone with a smile because that is who i am if someone chuckless or has some comment so be what's to say that someone doesm't chuckle when i go out as a man the real gist is that there will always be lookers gauckers and what not that is the way of the world no matter where you live Just be yourself present yourself as the proud person that you are and let the mockers choke on it because some day some one will mock them also.

[Jennaie]

Will the day come when it we will all be treated the same whether we are pretty or ugly, handsome or not, fat or skinny? Will the day come when everyone will feel good enough about themselves that they don't have the need to condemn others in order to make them feel a bit better about themselves?

I have my doubts.

[Amy Hepker]

I would hope that someday we maybe accepted. My daughter is a goth and the clothes she wears are not that much different from what the guys are wearing. I do believe that someday there won't be that big of a deal, that it will be more of who you are inside, that counts. Will it happen in our time. We can only hope.

[loki_uk]

When I go to fetish clubs passing doens't matter at all, being in the closet I don't shave at all but I still wear what a want

The irony is I'm more girlie than a lot of the CDs there that do pass, they may look like women but they act like men so often whereas I'm the opposite

But the moral is go out where it's safe, wear what you want and don't let anyone force their CD rules on you, its your life not theirs

[Kate Simmons]

That day is here for me. Come and gone really. Personally, I don't think it's such a big deal. Much ado about nothing in my opinion.

[susie evans]

i don't think most people care now i have prety much dunnwhat i whant for the last couple of years and never had any issues yet

susie

[noname]

You know, I don't think that day is far away. People are slowly becomming more accepting of individualism. It's like racism, it will take time for it to go away.

[Sharon]

I spent way too many years worrying about passing or not. All it did was make me an increasing loner, afraid of being who I was, and afraid of others viewing me as some sort of freak. Now, however, I have managed to attain an attitude of "I just don't care." I do my best at making myself look as good as I can and I walk tall.

You know what I have learned? Even though I can tell I've been tagged by people on occasion, no one does anything more than smile at me. I just accept those smiles as compliments and smile back.

As for fashions being tailored for our male physiques, I manage just fine in my jeans and skirts. Since I am size 14-16 on top and size 10 below, dresses just don't look good on me. I do feel for those who are larger, though, and have difficulty finding clothes that fit. Maybe there's a good result of American's increasing girth -- clothing manufacturers seem more willing to make larger sizes which may fit better on some of us.

[Jere Oneil]

With the way wearing on un-bifurcated clothing by GGs is declining, by the time society decides to accept males wearing dresses or skirts, the male might be considered a crossdresser if he wears pants.

[Angie G]

Yes Rita that would be nice if only it were now I'd dress 24/7
Angie

[Joy Carter]

I go out regularly. I go shopping, dining, to the theater, etc. I like to go to straight venues and mingle with regular people. Do I totally pass? NO. Do I try to be presentable? YES. I have not been harrassed. I have passed the teenybopper test. If one dresses stylishly and appropriate for the occasion, one can get by. The most important thing is selfconfidence. If you believe you belong and you are dressed like you belong, you will belong.

I have done more outreach while out and about than you can count. I have been read in restaurants, theaters and in malls. Was I hassled? NO. Generally, I can go about my business with no problems, but in close contact, I will be read. Does it matter to me? NO. I am told by people that, yes, I might be a guy, but darn, I know how to present myself. I consistently get compliments on my outfits.

Just get out there. Be confident and have fun.

Jodi

Now here is a gurl that thinks like I do.