First, I am retired and have lots of time. I am single, and have lots of privacy. I do love crossdressing, and at 72, I have been doing it at various levels for 60 years! I should be pretty good at it by now and have most of the problems solved. I feel comfortable and normal in female looking garb and dress for a good part of every day.
I love my comfort and my relaxation and so I don't shave my face every day. So, typically, while in my femme drab mode -no makeup, faded ankle length blue wraparound skirt, bulky sox, topped with a soft old sweatshirt, and in the mirror I just look horrible! So I try not to look in the mirror and then I just putter around most of the day and feel just fine - it's so easy to do! And then I read about so many of you-all that primp and refine and wear fancy stockings and shoes and make a really big deal out of dressing - and I begin to think I should do that every day - just like my mother and grandmother really did.
I am old now and just can't put up with the notion of the pain and complications of facial hair removal and hormones - and the expense, good god - the expense! Yeah, and the facial skin discolorations due to the sun damage from when I was young - so that making up is a long and drawn out affair.... So I guess that I will walk by the mirror quickly and just take a quick glance at my femme carriage when I walk and my general "look" and just skip the details. Cra-, I used to love those beautiful femme details 20 years ago - but then I didn't have the time.... Damn, why does life come in enigma packets!
And then, this lonesome situation. I dress, and so I can't go out comfortably and easily. Result, I don't meet people and I stay lonesome. Question, am I just a loner..., or is it my dressing fetish that separates me? And does it make any difference which? I want a woman in my life - and I am sabotaging that goal either way!
Bad thinking day, Rickie , wannabe , but still