How do gays view CDs?

[Stephanie Kay]

Hi, girls,

I have a question. What do you think the gay community thinks of us hetero crossdressers? I am thinking of introducing Stephanie to an old college buddy of mine who is gay and has no idea that I crossdress. He's pretty flamboyant and throws these wildly dramatic theme parties. I want to attend as Stephanie and make some new friends. I don't know if he or any of his other friends do drag. I'm wondering if he will be shocked? Offended? Critical? Intolerant? Pleased? Do any of you have gay friends and what do they think?

Love,
Stephanie

[TeriAnn]

I told a gay lady friend of mine several years ago. All she said was more powerto you. She did not react badly but she was female as well.

[marie354]

One of my brothers is gay and he has a laugh every time he sees me. But he does tell me sometimes that I look good for a guy in a dress. Some of his friends seem OK with it, and some think it's an awful thing for a man to do.
It seems that they are just like everyone else in their opinions.

Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't..........

~~ Sandy ~~

[tvbeckytv]

he and his friends will have an attitude to it based on their individual character. IMO the fact they are Gay will not effect their thoughts for better or worse.
You know your friend, thats all you have to go on im affraid

[tvgirl4fun]

I agree with the others that their acceptance will be based on their own individual feelings.

As a whole though, many don't believe the T should be in GLBT. And I can understand why. G, L & B are related to sexual orientation, while the T is not.

I don't know the whole story, but the T got lumped in with the GLB movement many years ago and I don't believe it has benefited either side very well.

Jaie

[Rachel Morley]

What do you think the gay community thinks of us hetero crossdressers?

Hi Stephanie,

What an interesting question. My own personal opinion is that truthfully, I don't think gay people really understand us anymore than the rest of the general population does. I think that they know about transsexuals, and they understand the (fairly recently) added "T" in GLBT has got something to do with that. I wouldn't be surprised if they would rather it not be there either. I also happen to think that they (perhaps?) will be more tolerant of us (or maybe should that be nonchalant) in the sense that they understand what being "different" is.

I don't personally have any gay friends but I do have CDing friends some of who have gay friends, and they have told me that when they came out to their gay friend, they didn't really get it, especially the married hetro part.

I guess it depends on the individual. If you do come out to your gay friend I don't think there's going to be a problem, but don't be surprised if they misunderstand what it's really all about either.

[ShannonDragon]

A log time ago, our group IXE use to meet at a place called GiGi's They had a bar/dance floor on the first level and food on the second.

One meeting I was talking with a young gay man about 24 or so. After a while it dawned on him that the person I had been speaking about (my wife) was not what he thought.

His next words were, "You're married to a WOMAN?!" He soon left and brought over three of his friends and again claimed, "She's married to a woman!"

None of them dreamed that any of us there were anything but gay like themselves. For many years now, IXE has participated in the local Pride weekend. Not to get new members, but to educate the gay population (and straight as well), that crossdressers and such are not necessarily gay as they might believe.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I agree with the others that their acceptance will be based on their own individual feelings.

As a whole though, many don't believe the T should be in GLBT. And I can understand why. G, L & B are related to sexual orientation, while the T is not.

I don't know the whole story, but the T got lumped in with the GLB movement many years ago and I don't believe it has benefited either side very well.

Jaie

Well, some of us translate the T as "transsexual" which, more is more commonly defined in the sense of a person with the brain/mind the opposite of their biosex. This is different than G L &B although a TS is technically homosexual, in the bio sense, its distinctively different from a typical gay whose mine matches his body but still has an attraction for the same sex/gender.

Some folks use T or TS as a catch-all for any behaviour of condition than involves unconventional sexuality ----But I think the folks that contrived the G L B & T had the first definition above in mind.

A CD is likely to be hetro (although some TSs dress to suit their mind) but those are for different reasons all together, Some gays may also CD, but for the same reasons hetros who's CD is not sexual, do.

Really, though I never could figgure out the Gay /CD connection. It dont make sense to me--and gay "Drag" shows? why? Gay guys are supposed to be attrected to other guys and other people who LOOK like men. It just dont make sense. One of those mysteries of life I suppose.---My only explanation is perhaps its the TS folks that do the drag shows, and make up the bulk of gay CDers, yet TS people are not quite the same "animals" as are regular gays .

[Tamera]

Hi Stephanie,
Regarding the gay community and CD's.
Some are accepting, some are not. I have gone to bars and have had long conversations with gays then I have had ones that won't give you the time of day.

Regarding going to a party in CD and your friend doesn't know it.
I would let him know before you go. And ask if others CD also. From past threads surprising people no matter what the subject is not a good idea.

Tamera

[sparks]

Me Gay Mate in Calgary just doesn't get it and is very creeped out by transgenderism. Sometimes the world seems big and sometimes seems small.
We are all so different until we clone more often.

[linnea]

I think that this is right.

Hi Stephanie,

What an interesting question. My own personal opinion is that truthfully, I don't think gay people really understand us anymore than the rest of the general population does. I think that they know about transsexuals, and they understand the (fairly recently) added "T" in GLBT has got something to do with that. I wouldn't be surprised if they would rather it not be there either. I also happen to think that they (perhaps?) will be more tolerant of us (or maybe should that be nonchalant) in the sense that they understand what being "different" is.

I don't personally have any gay friends but I do have CDing friends some of who have gay friends, and they have told me that when they came out to their gay friend, they didn't really get it, especially the married hetro part.

I guess it depends on the individual. If you do come out to your gay friend I don't think there's going to be a problem, but don't be surprised if they misunderstand what it's really all about either.

[Sherlyn]

Bottom Line ...Gays are just people ...You have GG's that accept or don't ....GM's..that do or don't ...Ive a few gay guys as friends and they totatly respect me for who I am ...

[trannie T]

Gay people are as accepting (or not) as the rest of the population. Some accept us totally and others would prefer that we didn't exist. We can not generalize about any group in society, just because a person is gay does not make them any more or less tolerant.

[Dominique Melt]

Every one of my gay friends thinks Dominique is rather fascinating, although most of them have no desire to cross-dress. It is interseting that a great number of us hetero CDers find other CDers quite sexy and alluring, yet most, if not all, of my gay friends like the rugged guy look -- which makes sense to me.

[Sugar01]

Just like with heteros, you'll get various responses from gays. Some will approve, and some will not.

[sterling12]

I'm pretty much in agreement with Angel. Most Gay Men that I encounter, just don't get us.

Also, they tend to shy away from us because a lot of them, in The Gay Community, have spent about the last twenty years trying to convince the rest of The World that aside from their desire to have relationships with persons of the same sex, they are just like everyone else. According to some of the people I have talked to, if overtly feminine and "flamboyant," we remind them of a lot of the old "Queen" Stereotypes and that may be a societal no-no for them.

One of my support groups interacts with The Gay Community a lot. The longer my Group is around, and the more accepting and friendly we have been, the less animosity and "standoffishness" we seem to encounter. I reckon people are still people and we just need to interact more, or at least try and take the initial steps.

When having a conversation with Gay Men, I often relate that I probably am homosexual too. Like most CDs, I would consider myself to be transgendered, and I like women as sexual partners. I think that would probably qualify me as a lesbian and a Homosexual. See, it's all in how you look at it. Anyway, it tends to be a good "icebreaker" and often tends to lead to more candid conversation.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[cemab4y]

I went to a CD support group meeting once in Memphis Tenn. There was a gay male there, who was informing people about some of the gay activities in Memphis. All of the members of the club were hetero-CDers. There was no problem, this guy was totally cool with it.

IMHO- Most, but not all gay men, do not have a problem with hetero-CDers. The few that I have met, have a "live and let live" mentality.

[Samantha B L]

I have several cousins who are gay and lesbian.I have some gay freinds that know I'm a hetero male to female cd and they are nonplused about it.

[AmandaM]

Hi, girls,

I have a question. What do you think the gay community thinks of us hetero crossdressers? I am thinking of introducing Stephanie to an old college buddy of mine who is gay and has no idea that I crossdress. He's pretty flamboyant and throws these wildly dramatic theme parties. I want to attend as Stephanie and make some new friends. I don't know if he or any of his other friends do drag. I'm wondering if he will be shocked? Offended? Critical? Intolerant? Pleased? Do any of you have gay friends and what do they think?

Love,
Stephanie

Why don't you just ask him, "Hey, are CDers gay? What do you think of them? Do you know any?".

[amanda barber]

Hi, girls,

I have a question. What do you think the gay community thinks of us hetero crossdressers? I am thinking of introducing Stephanie to an old college buddy of mine who is gay and has no idea that I crossdress. He's pretty flamboyant and throws these wildly dramatic theme parties. I want to attend as Stephanie and make some new friends. I don't know if he or any of his other friends do drag. I'm wondering if he will be shocked? Offended? Critical? Intolerant? Pleased? Do any of you have gay friends and what do they think?

Love,
Stephanie

Why not just ask what jews think, or hispanics, or blacks think of crossdressing. Expecting your college buddy to react the same way as somebody elses gay friend because they are both gay is really narrow minded.

[Paulacder]

I have ben going out as Paula for many years. I have also ben to every gay Bar in a 75 mile radius of our area ( Cincinnati). As a crossdresser you think of a gay bar as a accepting place, why?, because society no mater how hard you try to convince otherwise has you earmarked as being gay. But this is what I have found. When i'm in a gay bar for the biggist part it's like being on a Island by yourself, you get the feeling that you just don't fit in with the crowd. I had a gay guy ask to see my drivers liscense, he wanted to see what I looked like as a guy, and went on to ask my why I was in that skirt. I guess gay men like gay men, not women or someone dressed as one. When in a Gal or Lez bar I get the same feeling of not fitting in. These gals like real women and not someone who just dresses like one. Now my question is what is a Hetrosexual Crodresser?.........

[loki_uk]

Now my question is what is a Hetrosexual Crodresser?.........

A lesbian in a mans body

***Runs away very quickly****

[Sugar01]

Maybe I'd be a therapist's dream. When I'm just me (non-dressing male), I date the opposite sex (male dating females). When I dress, I date the same sex (CD dating males).

There are so many levels of acceptance from either males or females, gay or straight. You just have to find the niche group that accepts you as you are.

[cindybarnes]

Hi Stephanie,
Like others that have answered already, everyone has different opinions of us, doesnt matter gay or bi or straight. I only know a couple gay CD's and they seem ok with how I dress *S*
I have had great times out at GLB clubs, never fealt out of place,, several times had girls and guys sit down to chat and ask questions about being a CD,, one gg thought my friend and I were a couple and was amazed when we told her we both were hetero with wifes at home.
I do think even tho many gays may not understand us they are more open minded about our different lifestyle, but again some may just think we are strange *S*

Cindy

[kittypw GG]

Hi Stephanie,

What an interesting question. My own personal opinion is that truthfully, I don't think gay people really understand us anymore than the rest of the general population does. I think that they know about transsexuals, and they understand the (fairly recently) added "T" in GLBT has got something to do with that. I wouldn't be surprised if they would rather it not be there either. I also happen to think that they (perhaps?) will be more tolerant of us (or maybe should that be nonchalant) in the sense that they understand what being "different" is.

I don't personally have any gay friends but I do have CDing friends some of who have gay friends, and they have told me that when they came out to their gay friend, they didn't really get it, especially the married hetro part.

I guess it depends on the individual. If you do come out to your gay friend I don't think there's going to be a problem, but don't be surprised if they misunderstand what it's really all about either.

I agree.
It is my expirence that the gay male population is not as understanding of CD's that are heterosexual. I have a couple of gay male friends. One has a drag queen boy friend . Neither one had very good things to say about cd's. Go figure, you would think that they of all people would be understanding and accepting. Kitty