Family discusses a TG

[jjjjohanne]

Several members of my family have had opportunities to observe or even interact with a TG person. We all met for a meal one day and the topic of the person came up. This person is not passable, but says they live as a woman. They had nothing nice to say about it. I only asked one or two questions since I had never met this person. My family doesn't know about my alternative clothing interests... None of them seemed at all supportive. Some were quiet while the conversation went on, however.

My family said this person dresses like a hooker. This is where I feel that this person can do no good being in the public. If a CD/TV/TS goes out in public wearing clothes that no GG of the same age/culture would wear in a million years, then the CD is going to draw a lot of attention to themselves. I believe that is the case with this person. If a CD dresses like a tramp, or even as a pageant queen when a GG would dress much more casual, then the CD is acting wierd in two ways. However, in the eyes of the world, the person is acting wierd in one way. The general public doesn't easily discriminate between people like that and any of the rest of us. Common people wouldn't let their kids be alone with or around a creepy person.

I feel like if this person would have dressed like a business woman in his age and social group, he would not have looked like as much of a freak to my family. However, the one(s) in my family who had interacted with this individual knew that he acted very strange in addition to his dress. So, they would have had bad things to say no matter the dress.....

Oh, well. Another bad representative for our cultural group.

Joe

[ToyGirl]

maybe SHE was a hooker.

[Tasha Meredith]

I have to admit, the 'tramp' look turned me off from CDing when I was younger. I thought it reflected a poor view of GGs.

[Melora]

I have often wondered.. Do TGs who do this Put an unfavorable image upon the rest of her sisters? I think in many ways that they do.. If we are about a movement, to be accepted, then we should at least try to be Respectfull & With Taste in society, lest we be a bunch of CLOWNS, which I have seen a few TGs to be in public, and these that I have seen make me embaressed as a movement. Though we can not change what others do in life, or the choices that they make.

[MJ]

well i am full time, and the big issue i have is sometimes i see tg that dress let's say inappropriate . but i think it's because they have no style or to put it another way no dress sense, therefor don't understand how people view them , so it reflects badly on the rest of us. and no i am not perfect but i try to pass . and i have my good days and bad. if i blend in then i am OK,
and remember no matter how hard we try there will be some who end up making the rest of us look bad.

[Rikkicn]

This kind of discussion has occurred in the gay community. There were those that were interested in assimilation into the mainstream community and there were those that though mainstream wasn't so great.
One of the phrases I heard was "they are ruining it for the rest of us"
Interesting

[marie354]

It really makes me sad to hear about these things.
The ones here that have shared their outing experiences with all of us are really very good representatives for us all.
Unfortunately some that pass very well are not about to holler out "Hey I'm a guy in a dress" and so people will never really know that there are "Nice" CD's out there.
What I mean is that the only ones that seem to draw the attention of others are not usually very good represenatives.
It's a shame that it is that way, but unless more go out that don't pass and show the world how "harmless" we really are it will probably remain the same.

~~ Sandy ~~

[Joy Carter]

My first thread was to the GGs here, and what they thought was acceptable to them in style and manner of dress. They pretty much said anything that didn't demean a real GG. I wouldn't have dressed any other way.

[Kate Simmons]

I figure most of us go through an "evolution" of sorts. Although I never even attempted the "trampy" or "trashy" look and always tried to look presentable, there are very few places these days and very few occassions where real women actually dress up that much, although they definately look nice when they do. I also went through a "functional" phase and tried the everyday look that most women these days have. What I decided though was if I'm going to make the effort, I'm going to look my best to look nice and "passing' is the least of my worries. I don't ever feel I am representing anyone but myself, however and don't unduly concern myself with that issue. Individual CD's are going to do what they want to anyway. I realize it's obvious when you see a guy over 6 feet, with 5" heels and massive cleavage but what are you gonna do? Far be it from me to take away their joy and pleasure by telling them they are a bad example. I've felt this a number of times when my "sisters" have chided me for "unladylike" behavior. I figure though if you can't be yourself and an individual, what's the point?

[jjjjohanne]

Looking like a guy in a dress is unfortunate. I am sure that I will always meet that description. But looking like a freak who wouldn't be safe with children, or sounding like a negative stereotypical activist for a freak cause does a lot to shape the general public's perspective of CD's, etc.

"I do this because I have always liked it."
"I tried X and fell in love. Now I don't hide it."
"I think that X are so pretty. I just want to be pretty too."

These are reasons that still my be specific to our community, but they are not painting us as people who want to spray semen all over the community. Whether or not the world will totally appreciate and accept us is not as significant to me as if the world will always find us disgusting! :-) Let's always be more normal than wierd. If possible.

Joe

[Raychel]

In reading this thread I am finding that you all are listing many of the reasons that I (as a man in a dress) am just as happy keeping my dressing desires right at home. It is just for these reasons that I will probably never step out that door. I really have no desire to be judged by society in these ways. I am just a normal (whatever that is) guy, trying to bumble through life as happy as I can be.

It sure would be be nice if the world was abit more non-judgemental. But I don't see that happening anythine in the near future. It sure would make things alot easier for alot of people. I am sure that there would be alot less fighting and wars, just to start.


Raychel

[Han]

I know a lot of people who are very welcoming of CD'ers, but who are offended by a lack of effort. My SO is part of the Gothic and Lolita culture (a Japaneses sub-culture, worth investigating), and they frequently discuss this subject, and have many CD'ers in there community who get a lot of support from the GG's. Being Japanese and practically invented by a CD'er, their only rule is that if you are going to dress up, we love it only when it is done well.

Crossdressing (although still part of the alt scene) is far more acceptable in Japan than here in the UK and US.

[Brianna Lovely]

This kind of discussion has occurred in the gay community. There were those that were interested in assimilation into the mainstream community and there were those that though mainstream wasn't so great.
One of the phrases I heard was "they are ruining it for the rest of us"
Interesting

An interesting insight.

I belong to ten Gay Men's social groups, and I see a trend, that upsets me. It seems to me, that many Gay people, have done such a good job of "blending in" with the general population, that they've lost their own identities.

Out of the hundreds of Gay men I know, I'm the only one with "her" nails done. I'm also the only one who wears a skirt and fem top to restaurants for lunch or dinner. I'm sure that there are many guys, who are dressed like "Joe the retired business man, who are thinking, "She's making all of us look bad".

PS
Just think, that guy you saw on Saturday night, you know the one, the freak, the punk with the pink-spike hairdo and the safety pin in his nose, in ten years, could be your boss!