Kimberley thread got me thinking

[MJ]

hi girls
Kimberley thread got me thinking, we are kind of like a on line self help group in a way. so if you will let me i want to open my heart to you
most of us dress for stress release and fun or the need / drive within us but when you get to dress full time how do you deal with the stress. unlike you all i cant put on a dress there is no release for me now apart for the tears hrt works wonders , so i wonder can you relate, if you don't have a partner in life how long can you go without the warm feeling touch of someone ? .
you see you know who you are and what you want , but for those of us who are in transition it is not that easy captain-lex said something like this you see i am not Paul anymore but i am not Marissa either it's like we are two minds as it were becoming one , and i hate this time , i wish i had someone to hold or even to cry with you see i am human too , it,s like a fog i can't see were i am going , and i would love a relationship i have a friend her name is Bo what a wonderful woman but i just can't . I've been hurt too many times i would rather have her as a friend than lose her all together , but it does not help me now.. and then there are some here who think they could live full time it's not easy but this is who i am , hell of a life
a. i think what i am asking is how do you date ? i just don't know anymore
b. any of you were in the fog how long did it last
c. god i need to let my hair down anyone know a good place to party
d. i need a real hug
sorry for my rant thanks for listening
hugs Marissa

[Jenna1561]

E-Hug. I wish I could give you the real thing, but Oklahoma is a LOOONG way away from you.

I'm not transitioning so there is no way I can feel your emotions, but I think that I can understand your loneliness and wishes for the friendly touch of another. I really don't have any advice but want you to know that I'm listening, so go ahead and rant or bare your soul here.

Hugs and Love,

Jenna

[marie354]

Hi Marissa.
I think I understand some of that. I've had a lot going through my mind at times as well.
I wanted to go all the way when I was young, but the marriage, kids, good job, etc., got in the way and I got stuck with being Sam the man for quite a while.
I'm not sure that I could go through what you are, but I am thinking more and more about talking to my doctors about it.
I'm not sure how my SO is going to react if I make that all life-changing decision and if the doctors think my body can handle the changes. Maybe I can at 52 years, but I'm not sure.
By reading about people, like yourself, that are going through the changes of transitioning, has made me aware of how hard it can be. I'm still trying to weigh it all myself and understand what I will have to go through if I do decide to go ahead with it.
Anyway, thanks for sharing what you are experiencing, I admire you for it.

[Rachel Morley]

Oh my gosh Marissa sweetie, I wish you were here (or we were there) right now as Marla and I would give you such a big group hug

a. i think what i am asking is how do you date ? i just don't know anymore.

I don't date now because I'm married, but previous to Marla there wasn't whole lot dating going on.

b. any of you were in the fog how long did it last.

It lasted 12 years. I wasn't sexual active and it was 9 years before I kissed a woman (or anyone else for that matter).

c. god i need to let my hair down anyone know a good place to party

Sacramento Delta Girls - 2nd Saturday every month!

d. i need a real hug

This isthe best I can do for now

Sorry for my rant thanks for listening - hugs Marissa

I'm with you spiritually honey. Hang in there. Look what happened to me. 12 years without a relationship then out of the blue I bumped into the woman of my dreams in the most unlikely of places and now I'm living happily ever after. It can happen - trust in love, if it's meant to be, it WILL happen.

[lisa68]

I can relate to what Marie is saying as far as I wanted back in my younger days to a total female, but I had this big feeling inside me wanting children of my own. Now that I have a daughter wishing to make the change before she was born is hard to imagine if I could go though what you are with your life. I think about it alot and wish there was an earier way of doing things or saying that could help you. I really hope the best for you.

[kerrianna]

Hi Marissa, I wish I could help you with the first 3 but they're out of my league (including the party lol).

I can help you with the last:

[CaptLex]

Oh yeah . . . I can relate to everything you're saying. And I hope someone can give us the answers 'cause I'm in the same boat with you. Meanwhile . . .

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Marissa, It is indeed a tough row to hoe sometimes. I'm missing human contact myself. I just take things a day at a time and do the best I can. That is all anyone can do really. My dynamics keep changing and it can really feel like a roller coaster ride sometimes. What I decided was to work hard on the up hill grades and enjoy the ride when the car goes downhill. I try to make the best out of every situation and use it as a learning experience and use it to my advantage. We are here for one another, in any case.

[pocoyo]

Hey mj I think it will all fall into place in the end sweetie.
Don't be sad, have one of these

[Trisha]

as two English girls we will have to party i know i like to party we will have to get together sometime in the u.s. or canada

[Danni Bear]

Marissa, It Is So Hard I Knw I;m Right In The Middle Of It Too. It Has To Get Better It Just Can't Get Worse.

Loveand Kissses

Danni

[MJ]

[QUOTE=Jenna1561;765159]

E-Hug.

thank you jenna

,

thanks for sharing what you are experiencing, I admire you for it

.

well we are here for one another the good time and the bad
[QUOTE=Angel Darling;765212]

Oh my gosh Marissa sweetie, I wish you were here (or we were there) right now as Marla and I would give you such a big group hug

thank you Angel you both are good friends , Delta Girls sounds like fun

Sacramento Delta Girls - 2nd Saturday every month!

[QUOTE=lisa68;765220]

I really hope the best for you.

well lisa thank you i hope things change and soon lol

]Hi Marissa, I wish I could help you with the first 3 but they're out of my league (including the party lol).

the fact that you are here for everyone helps
[QUOTE=CaptLex;765238]

Oh yeah . . . I can relate to everything you're saying. And I hope someone can give us the answers 'cause I'm in the same boat with you. Meanwhile . . .

thanks captain or am I in the same boat as you lol , i think you have been there longer than myself but i understand , i sure wish it would end for both of us

[QUOTE=Salandra;765266]

What I decided was to work hard on the up hill grades and enjoy the ride when the car goes downhill. I try to make the best out of every situation and use it as a learning experience and use it to my advantage. We are here for one another, in any case.:

i like that , i wish i was near the summit

[QUOTE=pocoyo;765268]

Hey mj I think it will all fall into place in the end sweetie.
Don't be sad,

we all get up's and down's , i guess it's my turn but i will get back to my jolly old self soon
[QUOTE=Trisha;765307]

as two English girls we will have to party i know i like to party we will have to get together sometime in the u.s. or canada

oh yes i like your idea we will have to get together sometime thanks

[QUOTE=Danni Bear;765359]

Marissa, It Is So Hard I Knw I;m Right In The Middle Of It Too. It Has To Get Better It Just Can't Get Worse.

oh how true i just hope god gives us a break. one good thing summer is coming

[Margot]

HI MJ it sounds like the hormones have kicked in and winter blahs have set it for you in Hamilton. You're on a track that many of us envy but do not have the nerve to jump on. You are a very brave soul and all things come to she who waits, hon. You have a good friendship right now so run with it. If you were remaining a single male new relationships might still be difficult to generate. Hang in there, spring is on the way.
from Toronto

Margot

[Kimberley]

MJ, the one thing you must never lose sight of is where you are going. The here and now can easily drag us down but it is the future that pushes us forward.

I think that anyone transgendered feels the loss or potential loss of family and love moreso than someone who is cisgendered. I think it comes with the territory and like it or not the terrible trio is always on the horizon. I believe we have lived with it for so long we find some comfort in it if for no other reason than it is familiar to us and we know how to deal with that. Breaking the cycle is what takes the work and it is damned hard work for any of us whether TV or TS. We have to remember how we did it the first time and use those same tools to break it time and again.

You can always chat with moi.

Been there done that and as much as I have tried to burn the tee shirt a new always appears in my closet. PM or email anytime hon.

Kimberley

[Peggy55]

hi girls
Kimberley thread got me thinking
most of us dress for stress release and fun or the need / i wonder can you relate, if you don't have a partner in life how long can you go without the warm feeling touch of someone ? .

hugs Marissa

I'm asking myself this question. I love this crossdressing I've adopted but have no girlfriend and it's getting depressing.

[Tina B.]

MJ somedays are hard to get through, and it is a hard road you have started down, we sit at our computers and think how great it would be to be a woman, but then someone like you and the Capt, comes along and reminds us all, just how hard that change is. I wish there where some wisdom some one would come up with for what you all, are going through, but I sure don't have it. But I can hope that you and Capt Lex, and all the others going though these types of times hurry to a happier time, and find what you are looking for. I like to belive there is someone out there for everyone, but sometimes it takes a long time to find them.
Tina B.
Trying to be a woman, ain't for sissies!

[MsEva]

MJ, you have my hugs! I guess I am pretty lucky to have an understanding SO! Even so the journey is lonely at times. I am not transitioning, so I can't comment on that but I do get lonely sometimes. so...big e hug to you

[TxKimberly]

I need a real hug

((((( Marissa ))))) <- hugs

I mean this every bit as much as if I COULD give you a real hug. You seem to be a kind and thoughtful person - it will come.
I don't think it would be appropriate for me to try and answer most of the concerns you expressed as I have been fortunate and DO have someone that I love dearly and who obviosuly loves me or she wouldn't still be putting up with me 20 years later.
One thing I can comment on though, is that you are not alone in your pain for being "in between". Even though I have made the choice to go no farther than crossdressing, I promise you that I, and I assume many others, have had our share of tears over not being able to come down clearly on one side or the other as to gender. For many years when I was younger I can remmeber sitting alone and crying becuase I knew I was supposed to have been born a girl, and there was no way to fix it. Somewhere along the line though I stopped dreaming about it.
And I just realised that i went way off topic and highjacked your post but I spent to much time typing to erase it! lol
Kim