While at work ,coworkers were talking about another coworker who one of
them had seen dressed and out. This has not gone over very well in this circle
He is going to take alot of abuse I'm afraid, it just shows how sad society is.
While at work ,coworkers were talking about another coworker who one of
them had seen dressed and out. This has not gone over very well in this circle
He is going to take alot of abuse I'm afraid, it just shows how sad society is.
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
I hope you made some attempt to defend him or tell the co-workers that what someone chooses to do outside the premises is none of their business. You don't necessarily out yourself by doing so.
Thank you Sharon...well putOriginally Posted by Sharon
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I agree with Sharon as well, you do have an opportunity here to make his situation a bit easier.
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Tamara
Sharon is so right ..... if we ever want people to accept something outside of their comfort zone or something they don't understand then stopping the schoolyard games of bashing and trashing any one different than them has to stop ..... a simple thing as one person speaking up is all it takes ..... don't forget one day it may be you this little schoolyard group is bashing and trashing.....
But are they so sure ?
Addmy voice to the "I agree"s Tommi. Rather than just commenting on how sad society is, take the time to help make it better.
Androgynes: the quantum bits of the gender binary.
Truly I was shocked to find out and really wonder if they were joking or not.
After a day to think about the situation I realize I should do something but I
do not want to out myself in the process.
One of the guys said there is no way he could change with him in the room
that was followed up by you've changed in the same room for ten years
and he has never even offered to grab your butt,so there is a little bit of tolerance here.
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
I would say something such as, "I like (co-worker's name) and I don't care how he spends his time as long as he does his job."Truly I was shocked to find out and really wonder if they were joking or not.
After a day to think about the situation I realize I should do something but I
do not want to out myself in the process.
Small minded people might then try to turn the topic to you and why you are defending him, but all you need to reply is "because it's the right thing to do."
Wouldn't you want someone to do the same for you?
Thanks Sharon that sounds like a good way to approch it.
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
Guess your lucky you don't work in a tar and feather factory....
"There he goes.... Get him!!! "
Think I'd go talk to the guy and give him a heads up on what you heard... Without tipping him off to your situation.. He may be able to do some damage control... And you might be able to help him with that... Just an idea..
Karren
Unfortunately he was seen coming out of the ladies room at a local resturant
enfemme, so damage is done, what I don't know is if he realizes he was seen.
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
Hmm, maybe you should have asked them if "she" looked good, giggle.
As a side note, I was in a discount store, earlier this week. After browsing s while and picking up a couple of skirts and a top, a younger man, a SA, came up to me and asked if I was finding every thing ok. I said yes and he said, that's a nice blouse. I held it up in front of me and said, yes, it will look good on me.
He stepped closer and whispered, I used to dress too. Then he took me over by the dress rack and showed me some beautiful gowns, loaded with sequins, that were drasticly reduced. Then the SA said, I know you, I just moved into your neighborhood. Mmmm, maybe I'll gain a new friend, giggle.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Tommi ,I must agree,you have to step up and say something to your co-workers and let him know its ok and you lend your support tohim. You don't have to out yourself but you have to support him,I know this can be difficult to do as UI have had to do this myself,the result some now think me gay for standing up fortwo TS at work but I could not sit and say nothing and niether should you.Best of luck to you and he.
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about the talk circulating in the workplace. "Forewarned is forearmed". Your making him aware of the "office gossip" will probably be appreciated, and he can take whatever course of action, or response, he deems appropriate.
I know myself I would feel a responsibility to say something. I wouldn't worry about being outted. If this does get out of hand and the guy seen starts getting harrased, you might want to let him know he has your support.
If this heckling go on for any amount of time, I wouldn't hesitate to bring this to the attention of HR. Well... that may not go over well, they could "find" a reason to let him go. People can really disappoint me sometimes.
Women who wear pants and skirts are shocked, just shocked a husband would do the same thing.
Who knows, maybe his twin sister was in town. Talk to him.
Kendra
Support your local crossdresser!
I'm in complete agreement with all the others. And you can make some generalized comments on the situation without outing yourself. For instance, you could say something to the effect of: "It's the same person we've worked with for the past 10 years. He's done nothing illegal, immoral nor hurt anybody, and he's still a good worker. So now we're not going to like him because we don't like some of his clothes? I prefer to put the emotions aside and take a more logical approach...."
This is one time you can really make a difference!
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Another approach would be if some of your co-workers belong to Masions, Elks, and etc. Then you can said "Lets see, so and so is a Masion, so and so is an Elk, and etc......and no one cares what they do outside the work place, so I don't have a problem with HIS outside activity as long as he doesn't bring into the work place."
IMHO, this CDer must not be very passable, if she was read that easly. Then too, she must be very compy with her fem side, if she is out about.
So late to ad Right on Sharon! Wanda
[SIZE="3"]I agree with Sharon too.
Anna Marie x[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]I need to be on the outside, who I am on the inside[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know[/SIZE]
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
I know it is easy for us to give good advice after the fact. It was sprung on you, and it is always easier to come up with good replies after the fact. I think that prompted your posting.
The opportunity to say something to mitigate the situation has passed, so now, as some of the others have said, you need to look forward and speak to your co-worker. There have been suggestions on how to approach it, and i guess it depends upon your relationship with this person, and the corporate culture of your company.
I am fairly large and used to dealing with uncomfortable situations, so my approach would be something along the lines: "Say, Dave, got a minute?'
Step off to the side some place. "Hey, I'm not sure you know, but the word is you were seen coming out of the ladies room at Wherevers." Check his reaction. It will most likely be blank. "Hey man, I am ok either way, but just wanted to give you aheads up that this is the chatter in the locker room."
If he is defensive, denies, whatever, just back off, saying that you just want a co-worker to be aware of what is being said. End of story. You have done your thing.
If he has other reactions, well, follow your instincts. Either way, I think you have an obligation to let this person know that something is up. w.
Tommi,
Sharon is right. Personal issues have no place in the office. If is very unfortuneate that so much ignorance exists in our society. Do what every you can to support her. Good luck!
Ally
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