Do not destroy yourself to satisfy someones ultimatum.Originally Posted by vicky lee
Do not destroy yourself to satisfy someones ultimatum.
You need to do what is right for you! I think if it where me I would explain how you feel and that you know if you gave it up now you would be back to dressing in the future, and if you did go back to dressing would she want to know. If she can not accept it I think I would lean toward not going back. If you do go back and you are anything like me you will have to go back to dressing. Maybe you can just do it on the side and she doen't have to know? It is a tough place to be in. All I can really do is wish you well! Wanda
Ultimatums do not work. She is asking you to give up a part of yourself - your need to express you femininity through clothing. That need will not go away. In 1979 my ex wife told me that she would get a divorce unless I gave up dressing permanently. She got the divorce and one year later I married the most accepting and supportive wife in the world. Now if I would have agreed to her ultimatum, how would my life be 26 years later - hell on earth.
I love being "gender gifted"! www.pmpub.com
I am probably echoing the other girls here but I have to say that if she refuses to back down on this ultimatim, and you decide that you want to be with her and give up CDing, it will only lead to resentment. She might think all is well and that she "cured" you but over time the wedge will be driven in deeper and deeper. Resentment will lead to hatred in short order.
If she can compromise, then it might be worth it. But if I were in your place, I would consider it like this- Does she love me because of the person I am, or because I do as she demands?
Sabrina
I know exactly how you feel. My wife totaly hates my x-dressing. Early in our marriage I was able to wear panties and pantyhose all the time but as she had found out about Jennifer last August days and nights is very cold in our home if you get what I mean. I gave it up for about 4 months but in December all the feelings came back and in a big way, So I bought a couple of outfits and found a new hiding spot and dressed when I could. About two weeks ago she found a receipt in my wallet for a blouse I had bought and she was MAD!!!! and then some how she found my new stash, now most of it is gone in the trash. She told me its my choice dressing or marriage so I feel for you in a big way I know how you feel.
Talk about a double standard! Can you imagine the outrage and indignation, if you had found a receipt for something in her purse, and confronted her with it. The whole neighborhood would have heard her screaming "How dare you"!About two weeks ago she found a receipt in my wallet for a blouse I had bought and she was MAD!!!! and then some how she found my new stash, now most of it is gone in the trash.
And where does she get off, throwing your stuff in the trash.
i also had the ultimatium. the choice of her over cd'ing was hard but it lasted almost three years before I started again. aonce more the ultimatium but after starting HRT. This time i stayed true to myself. It has been extremely hard but with the help of my therapist I am making progress. Vicky ,only you can make the decision on how to respond to her. I hope that whatever you decide will be right for you .Good luck in all things
hugs and kisses
Danni
well in my position i have been a cder for over 40 years my x-wife didnt mind now after a divorce for other reasons and having to find another g/f most i talked to didnt like me cding so for me it is this way if a female cant tolerate it and help me then i wont go out with her or her go out with me sorry to all the gals out there but if they dont understand us then they all suck thanks GLENDA
My wife found out and does not accept it and I know that she is the most important person in my life and that i would not want to live apart from her or indeed the rest of my family.
My compromise is to go into the closet. I keep a suitcase of clothes in the attic for the odd occasion I am in the house on my own for a few days or alternatively I am away for a couple of days on business. I have a stache of lingerie in the back of my clothes cupboard, of which I suspect my wife is aware of but it is never mentioned and, more often than not, I wear these items under my male clothes.
It is not an easy compromise but my marriage is definitely more important.
'What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning'
You have to make your own choice. Keep the dialougue open maybe some understanding will take root.
Hugs
Lovely Rita
The journey is about learning how to love and to do it with all our heart.
The Revolution moves forward!!!!!
aspiring to be "part of the cure and not the disease."
to quote Cold Play.
Becoming the person I was created to be
not the person you expect me to be
"Girls Just Want to Have FUN!"
You don't need an excuse to Love just an opportunity!
Giving up a important part of yourself is never a good idea - here you have open up a big part of your life to someone you love- part of what make you you - I sure you open youself up to her because it was eating at you, keeping it hidden and you wanted to be closer to her - but she can't see that she is probably having an identy crisies ( why would I be attractive to someone who want to be a girl - Does that make me a lesbien) and You are probably thinking if someone who I know love me can't accept this about me, how can I ever find somebody to love me and my crossdressing
There are other people who will love you, just be upfront about it and tell them this is me and this is who you will have to fall in love with, if you want to be with me, I am not going to change - it may take you some time to find that person but you will find them you just have to make the effort
Karen
So long and thanks for all the fish
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