A Question.....

[DonnaT]

I hate the pain it has caused my wife.

I hate when it gets hot under the wig, and the fact that I can't let my hair grow all the way out so I wouldn't need a wig.

[Cassy11]

Hate, I don't hate crossdressing or anything associated with it. Why? because I am a crossdresser. What is a problem is what other people think a crossdresser is and how do I deal with them.

[myMichelle]

I hate the feelings of guilt. I hate the fear of the unknown that must be overcome in order to step out the front door enfemme. But I especially hate being viewed as some sort of freak, put here for my neighbor's personal entertainment. And I hate intolerant people--the type who walk up to me on the sidewalk and then whip out their cell phone and start taking pictures.

Now, having said all of the above, I still love what I do so much that I can overlook the negatives and focus on the positives.

[Siobhan Marie]

[SIZE="3"]I hate it that I can't be me, who I really am as I'm living a lie.

I hate it that my mum won't even acknowlege that I'm trans or talk about it and it kills me.

This might sound silly but I hate having to keep my hair short when all I want to do is to let it grow out and have it cut into a nice femme style.

Anna Marie x[/SIZE]

[Missy]

the thought of being ables to choose between male dress or female dress what to wear

[sami1952]

The only thing that I hate about CDing is the fact that I don't do it enough to satify my needs to dress up infem.

[Kelsy]

[SIZE="3"]Now that I have purged what it is I hate I have taken stock and have found the thing I hate the most! I hate struggling with accepting the thing in myself which I truely love! If I could toss all of my CDing and my affections for my feminine things and my female self I would be but half a person!
because this tread has been very useful for self examination and has served as a realignment pointing to the things in my life that I need to overcome in order to be able to accept myself as I truely am!

Jennifer [/SIZE]

[Holly]

I wanted to give this a lot of thought before posting to this thread. I'm not a big fan of giving hate a foothold in my life. Dwelling on the negative does little to make one happy, especially if not balanced with positive steps to take to make your life better. Let's face it, things happen to us all the time that throw us a curve, and it's not all related to cross dressing... the water heater goes out, the car breaks down, illness, and so many other issues happen to us daily. Some we can control, some we can't. But dwelling on the bad never has and never will help us move forward. In fact hate, if left unchecked, can and does consume us. Maybe the better question would be what is it about cross dressing that we would like to change? Why would we change it? How would we go about changing it. Now we've identified what it is that is standing in the way of our happiness. We've determined why it is impairing our joy. And we've made a plan to make it better. But why stop with cross dressing? What is it about our relationships with our SO's that we would like to change? What is it about your job that you would like to change? What is it about where you live that you would like to change?

So what do you think? Instead of moping around feeling sorry for ourselves about our lot in life, wouldn't it be better to have a direction to work toward to change those things? The most powerful tool we have to effect change is our minds. Let's get busy!

[NatalieBliss]

I hate that I can't ask girls where they got that cute top/bottom/shoes ect

I hate that people I love don't know

I hate that there is a part of me that makes me feel bad at times

[Country girl]

I wanted to give this a lot of thought before posting to this thread. I'm not a big fan of giving hate a foothold in my life. Dwelling on the negative does little to make one happy, especially if not balanced with positive steps to take to make your life better. Let's face it, things happen to us all the time that throw us a curve, and it's not all related to cross dressing... the water heater goes out, the car breaks down, illness, and so many other issues happen to us daily. Some we can control, some we can't. But dwelling on the bad never has and never will help us move forward. In fact hate, if left unchecked, can and does consume us. Maybe the better question would be what is it about cross dressing that we would like to change? Why would we change it? How would we go about changing it. Now we've identified what it is that is standing in the way of our happiness. We've determined why it is impairing our joy. And we've made a plan to make it better. But why stop with cross dressing? What is it about our relationships with our SO's that we would like to change? What is it about your job that you would like to change? What is it about where you live that you would like to change?

So what do you think? Instead of moping around feeling sorry for ourselves about our lot in life, wouldn't it be better to have a direction to work toward to change those things? The most powerful tool we have to effect change is our minds. Let's get busy!

[SIZE=3]Holly, you have said, so much more eloquently than I could, exactly how I feel. Now these are some positive thought provoking questions! You should start another thread or two asking some of these things. Bravo to you Holly, for really making us think! CG gg[/SIZE]

[Katie Ashe]

One thing I hate alot, is... I'm not taking seriously. Everthing I do or say is disregarded and then I'm disrespected cause I got read. Another thing is CD'ing is only a temp fix to the feelings I have, I never will be a "normal" woman, but from what I have learned reading the encyclopedia is, there is no such thing as "normal".

The societial pressure of feeling guilty for being different.

[silkycd]

1. i hate the instant fear that runs thru me when im dressed and someone knocks at my door, reminds me of embarrasing moments of childhood when mom caught me after i thought the door was locked
2. i hate that it turns me on to wear womens clothes(why cant i be normal?)
3. i hate that the love of my life couldnt, and didnt want to understand this side of me
4. i hate the fact that this is not what i choose to do, it chose me,and wont let go
5. i hate being a hetro crossdresser, there arent any women who like it
6. i hate spending an hour to shower shave get all femm and wind up sitting on my couch alone too scared to go out
7. i hate that my parents felt i needed to see a shrink because of my dressing

[Roxi Loh]

Sometimes I hate all of it, because of the hassle, planning, expense and lonliness. Most of all the lonliness. At the same time I love it for many of the same reasons. I still struggle with the lonliness but it is my struggle.

[Peggy55]

I wanted to give this a lot of thought before posting to this thread. I'm not a big fan of giving hate a foothold in my life. Dwelling on the negative does little to make one happy, especially if not balanced with positive steps to take to make your life better. Let's face it, things happen to us all the time that throw us a curve, and it's not all related to cross dressing... the water heater goes out, the car breaks down, illness, and so many other issues happen to us daily. Some we can control, some we can't. But dwelling on the bad never has and never will help us move forward. In fact hate, if left unchecked, can and does consume us. Maybe the better question would be what is it about cross dressing that we would like to change? Why would we change it? How would we go about changing it. Now we've identified what it is that is standing in the way of our happiness. We've determined why it is impairing our joy. And we've made a plan to make it better. But why stop with cross dressing? What is it about our relationships with our SO's that we would like to change? What is it about your job that you would like to change? What is it about where you live that you would like to change?

So what do you think? Instead of moping around feeling sorry for ourselves about our lot in life, wouldn't it be better to have a direction to work toward to change those things? The most powerful tool we have to effect change is our minds. Let's get busy!

Good reply but I think this has been a constructive thread. No moping......just good dialog for self examination.

[jessicanataliemonroe]

I wanted to respond to the question with a thoughtful reply, and I think the question will still be rolling around in my head long after I click on the 'submit reply' button, but here's my honest response.

I don't think I would say I 'hate' it, but I think the thing that always concerns me the most deeply about CDing, is how I am very much of an 'in control' person in all other aspects of my life, and the crossdressing has always been so much more about feeling and emotion rather than the usual reason and control. I have referred to it more than once as an 'addiction', and it is the emotional appeal of CD that I also find so discomforting. But if I had to declare that I 'hated' it, I could also say that I 'love' it for the same reasons.

[Wendi {LI NY}]

1# one thing I dis-like is CD or TS that get on T.V . and makes a fool of them selves .It makes us all look like perverts and sexual predators.

2# thing I hate is CD or ts that don't try to act feminine when dress .Talk like truckdrivers ,sit in a skirt with their legs wide open , .or worst of all is not looking in the mirror and going out with a five clock shadow or worst yet is short dresses or skirts in public that are not age appropriate.
3# I hate is if I am near or with them when they are doing any of those things . hugs ,Wendi

[Peggy55]

I wanted to respond to the question with a thoughtful reply, and I think the question will still be rolling around in my head long after I click on the 'submit reply' button, but here's my honest response.

I don't think I would say I 'hate' it, but I think the thing that always concerns me the most deeply about CDing, is how I am very much of an 'in control' person in all other aspects of my life, and the crossdressing has always been so much more about feeling and emotion rather than the usual reason and control. I have referred to it more than once as an 'addiction', and it is the emotional appeal of CD that I also find so discomforting. But if I had to declare that I 'hated' it, I could also say that I 'love' it for the same reasons.

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hiya Tamara

Since you have bought this radical question up... I will reply to it... cuz till this point ws only thinking in one way, you have just made me realise there are others lol...


Ok.. what I hate about some Crossdressers is:

1) Those who make a less than average effort to look the part.
2) Those that like to show their genitals under their skirt or dress.
3) Those that use obscene language to get their points across
4) Those who behave irresponsibly when out (Causing troubles!!!!)

There are probably others, though cannot think of them right now.. but will add at a later date, should any dawn on me



Those who make a less than average effort to look the part.

Crossdressing is the need to project or express your feminine side... how much you dress and how well you dress is surely down to how committed you are to who you are. While I am totally aware that some no matter what they do still cannot pass, i truelly sympathise with them... I guess if your a builder, or weight lifter then your extreme build might give you away... or some other very male attributes... In that case i guess it cannot be helped!, but dressing can be... trying to make an effort will reflect how committed you are and how much your crossdressing means to you in your life. Well thats what I think there.... those that pose in obscene pictures online, or showing only pictures of a skirt with genetalia under, what does that prove...lol... that they got one lol, hey so have i and it's bigger lol... so. It's so sad some get their kicks from doing that... so sad.... I cannot be annoyed about them, I used to... I guess I gave up and look at things in a more positive light now, so pity them instead.... ahhhhhh pity .....


Obcene language users.... Obscene language, this really gets into my guts, it really does. We are all adults here, so behaving like it surely cannot be that hard, or can it. Surely there are always alternative words that are more suitable.. the use of vocabulary reflects the true inner personality, though some really don't care about language and would meet yah anyway... you could be losing potential friends and contacts if they feel the same as I do. so now is the time to really give that matter some enhanced thought!

Behaving badly out dressed...

If you find yourself in a spot of bother, then adding fuel to the fire really ain't the best way to address an already awkward situation, these situations could have been avoided, and can be avoided... but should you find your self in the situation and they have a go at you, then only use force with discretion, otherwise you'll be the one done by the police. Remeber all the time you behave properly, the police will support your needs, you throw the first punch and then you are the one breaking the law, regardless of what the other party said to provoke your actions... try to behave in a respectable manner and be a true decent ambassadour to our Transgender society, as thats what you are when you are out dressed. being any less throws Crossdressing into issues and some ain't good. Crossdressing in UK ain't illegal, so let's not give cause for the powers that be to change it..ok...
believe me they can change anything at a drop of a hat.....

well I will now get of my soap box lol, now i have aired my thoughts...about things.... I know there will be replies on both sides of this... please bring them on lol... as I said it's only my views!!!!!!!!!

[PatyR]

I hated when I took my time to dress up and all of the sudden somebody arrived and I had to take off all what I had done, which BTW, was the best dressing I had ever done.

[Peggy55]

Those who make a less than average effort to look the part.

Crossdressing is the need to project or express your feminine side... how much you dress and how well you dress is surely down to how committed you are to who you are. While I am totally aware that some no matter what they do still cannot pass, i truelly sympathise with them... I guess if your a builder, or weight lifter then your extreme build might give you away... or some other very male attributes... In that case i guess it cannot be helped!, but dressing can be... trying to make an effort will reflect how committed you are and how much your crossdressing means to you in your life. Well thats what I think there...

Less than an average effort???? Isn't that pinning YOUR idea of what average is on everyone else? Isn't that what we all dislike in society as a whole. That they want us to fit their average?

[linnea]

There's not much about CDing that I hate, but I don't like waiting for my nails to dry. I don't like wearing heels for long periods of time (I would hate to have to wear them all day on the job); I hate make-up that doesn't last long enough (though I enjoy applying lipstick). I hate feeling that I have to be so careful of my behavior (not because of being a CD as much as being a woman: as a woman, I think that people scrutinize a person's behavior and appearance much more closely and critically than they do a man's behavior and appearance.
I sometime dislike the limitations imposed on movement and behavior by a woman's clothing, make-up, and jewelry.
Even though I hate these things, I don't hate them enough no to do them, and in acknowledging my dislike of them, I realize and appreciate and empathize much more with the things that GGs face every day.

[Audrey34]

What I dislike is the paranoia I feel after I'm done crossdressing. I imagine somebody might have seen me through my windowshades or heard the sound of my pumps walking across the floor even though I have a carpeted floor. I also dislike the fact that i'm overweight (yeah, I'm still working on that one) and sometime feel like an outsider even when I'm posting on this forum. I even joined Tri-Ess and have gotten very little response from them. I also dislike those moments when I dress up and then promptly remove my outfit and switch back to guy mode because I don't feel comfortable at that moment.
I've got a long way to go....
-Audrey

[Khriss]

..,,,,,, those misconceptions that abound about "US" perhaps..
then ... same stuff .. that pisses real Girls off ?
... why such a reach ??..oh well,,,"mascara" OK ? "K"

[Cheyenne Skye]

Things I "hate" about crossdressing:

Biggest one being that I really don't know why I do this. Is it just about the clothes, some kind of fetish, or should I have been born female?
Not feeling accepted by anyone including the LGBT community. On the rare occasions that I have frequented a supposed "alternative lifestyle" friendly establishment, I have still been made to feel like some kind of freak. That I'm pretending to be something I'm not or that I'm really hiding being gay by dressing the way I do. (I'm not gay, been with my wife and only my wife for over ten years.)
Having to hide this side of me from everyone I know. My sister took me aside one day after noticing that I was wearing girls jeans. She said that if I wanted to come over and spend time with my niece and nephew, I couldn't dress this way.
And the crass comments from my co-workers. They always try to live up to the macho stereotypes. They talk about guns and sports and make rude comments about anything that doesn't fit into their narrow world view (like crossdressing and transexualism). And I have to stand there and listen too it as if it doesn't bother me. I've thought about what would happen if I decided to transition and I don't think it would be pretty. My company has a strong policy against sexual harassment but I don't think it would help me much as they get away with saying some pretty offensive things already because it's often said in a joking manner.
When I do go out in femme drab (girls jeans, t-shirt and shoes), always having to be on my guard because my wife says she's always scared that something bad will happen to us because of the narrow minded people in our town. (Which reminds me of something Vince Neil once said in an old Motley Crue interview:"Just cause we're wearing makeup and heels doesn't mean we can't kick your a@@." )
Not having anyone to talk to. Sure there is this forum, but it is still very impersonal. I mean a real person that I could meet for lunch and discuss how we handle different situations that involve crossdressing. I've always been quite shy and I would be even less likely to divulge this secret to anyone that I don't trust implicitly. Even when I told my wife, she went behind my back and told her parents about me without telling me until after the fact. So how am I supposed to trust anyone else not to tell my friends or coworkers?
And last but not least is the the self loathing. When I think about how obsessed I am with my dressing, I hate that I let it control my life the way it does. When they say that men think about sex all the time, I think about how I can come to terms with my dressing. How I can make it a regular part of my life that I can even do when I leave the safety of my house. And then I wonder what it is like for a "normal" guy who doesn't have these feelings to complicate every aspect of his life.

Sorry for the long rant, I know some of you feel the same way. I just needed to get this off my chest.

[Melissa Ryan]

[SIZE="4"]I just hate the fact that I cant explain it all to myself, let alone to others...[/SIZE]