Today my wife and I were at the mall. We went into spencers and infront of me about 10 feet away was a GG SA, and she chirps up, "How you ladies doing?" I wasn't trying to pass, just wearing a jeans, a white zip sweatshirt and my black bag. It really made me unfortable, I mean, how could anyone look at me and not know I'm a guy? Has this happened to anyone else?
Women who wear pants and skirts are shocked, just shocked a husband would do the same thing.
This is a real coninscidence. It happened to me last tuesday at the auto store just as I was walking though the door and maybe 20 or 30 feet from the clerk. He quickly corrected himself and obviously didn't plan it as some insult.
My clothes were basically the same. Kakhis and a gray T shirt. I don't know how I could have possibly been mistaken for female unless weight was some kind of factor. Luckily I can say I enjoyed it thoroughly.
It was probably not a case of mistaken identity. Look you were carrying a purse. Women know women clothes when they see them and she was just being polite. Who knows maybe she knows a crossdresser or has gay friends. Some women are insightful and she got the vibe from you that you might be ok with being called lady.
Kitty
Heh, heh, I don't have any problem being called a lady. Call me anything but "late for dinner". I'm secure enough with who I am and have certainly been called worse. Enjoy it Hon.
im sure her calling you a lady was out of respect for the way in which you chose to dress.....i think its fantastic
A few weeks ago I was called mam twice in one day in guy mode. My hair looks a bit femme though, so I don't care. It just shows people have selective eye sight in todays age. Years ago I worked for this old woman who had dementia and she always called me lady, which I thought was cute.
Bored? Try wearing a pretty dress. It's fun.
I don't know how anybody would know what sex you are by your pants.
My wife and I were at the mall yesterday and I was looking at this sea of leggs, most in jeans, and I think they were all girl jeans, including mine. There was not a thick heavy pair of carhearts out there. Add that to all the ear rings and sandals and I think the gender line is not so clear cut.
Just a few observations.
Stephanie
lol Salandra is right, i only go out in drab to see my kids but i still get mam or missOriginally Posted by Salandra
Heh, heh, I don't have any problem being called a lady. Call me anything but "late for dinner". I'm secure enough with who I am and have certainly been called worse. Enjoy it Hon.just enjoy it
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Not sure why you're so angry, re: 'wtf'. I got 'mamed' yesterday by the SA at Wally Mart. She walked up behind me. I have long hair and was carrying an over the shoulder bag. It's either out of respect or just simply and automatic response.
What's the big deal? Kick back, relax and enjoy.
If you walk into a room and nobody notices, Why walk into the room?
As we've seen stated in this forum over and over, usually when someone is NOT given that respect, when you go out presenting as a female, it is polite and good manners for an SA to refer to you as such. Perhaps the bag you mention you were carrying, along with a number of other clues we probably all send out with out intent, gave her the impression this was what you were doing and so she tried to treat you with courtesy.
I can't speak for anyone else but I would have considered this a compliment! :-)
Kim
That happened to me about a year ago shoe shopping at DSW. My SO and I were walking down an aisle and a SA took a quick look at us - she may not have even looked at me at all, and assumed we were both ladies. She said "Good evening ladies". My SO didn't say anything about it so she either didn't want to draw any attention to the comment or she didn't hear it. I liked it even though I was in drab.
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I have to agree with all that has been said....what is the big deal? I am sure the clerk was trying to be friendly.
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Tamara
Oh honey, I'm sure it's more like, "Yo Butch", giggle.
NoName
"Today my wife and I were at the mall. We went into spencers and infront of me about 10 feet away was a GG SA, and she chirps up, "How you ladies doing?" I wasn't trying to pass, just wearing a jeans, a white zip sweatshirt and my black bag. It really made me unfortable, I mean, how could anyone look at me and not know I'm a guy? Has this happened to anyone else?"
Maybe the SA could sense the real you?
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Having worked retail, I'll say that most SAs really don't pay that much attention to someone when you first walk in the store. They just greet you so you know that they know you are in there (this is every bit as much a loss prevention thing as a customer service/friendliness thing). I don't know what you look like (or even how old you are, since nothing in your profile is filled out), but if you're on the thinner side, not particularly tall, wearing jeans and a white hoodie, and carrying a purse (even if it's a man-purse), well, the cues are there to referred to a lady.
"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "
- Anais Nin
The SA probably saw your wife first and out of habit greeted both of you as "ladies" without really looking at you, only that you were carrying what might have looked like a purse.
Some years ago I bought a pair of heels en drab at Leed's, a women's shoe store. The salesgirl, out of habit, asked whether I'd like to try them on. Then realized what she'd said and turned all shades of red, while another salesgirl giggled. I just laughed, paid for the shoes and left.
Mitzi
You are making much too much of nothing....I am sure they speak to thousands during the work day and it can happen...just trying to be friendly and omg said the wrong gender. It happens....not big deal.
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OK ..... pay attention here.... it's far better to be maimed in drab than be sired in fem......
What's the problem, being called ma'am is the best compliment a transgender person can get in my book. I get called that when I was in (hate the word) drab mode. Last week I find out why, at work they were taking pictures of my work group cleaning up my area. When I saw pictures of me up on the video screen in the auditoreum it is no wonder everyone everywhere refers to me as ma'am. This sure is no man up there, HRT works wonders on this girl.
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Yep, yep!
Kim
It's kinda weird how we react to those things, isn't it? I've never been mam'ed, partly because I've never been out in public in full femme mode, but the first time my SO told me that I have "girl butt" my reaction was defensive, not appreciative. Then I realised it was a complement to me, not an insult. I had to laugh at my reaction, just an old male defensive reaction from years of hiding my female side, so afraid someone would find out. Of course, this was before I found out that it's not just some horrible perversion, that it actually has a cause beyond my ability to remove. That's been a long journey to self-acceptance and now if someone says something to me about shopping or other femme related things, I can smile and have an answer instead of a defensive reaction.
It's like the first time a cashier said something to me while buying a sports bra, she caught me off guard, and my response was not what I would have wanted it to be, much too defensive. That doesn't happen any more, I can joke about it now.
Some good responces. Just a couple of things here.
I was not angery as I was taken off guard or balance. Kind of a deer in head lights kind of thing. I didn't say anything to her when she greeted just nodded my head.
Agreed it may have been out of respect because this person may know a CD or gay people. I'd much rather have someone offer me respect than in insult or nasty look.
It could have been first impressions without taking a good look as well. Black generic bag, white zip hoody, super skinny, and the fact the clothes were form fitting. Though I have to admit they don't make that many guys clothes in white.
Anyway, just wondering if this had happened to anyone else. I guess I just felt I wearing generic clothes and it wasn't expected. Perhaps that is part of the reason for the mistake, not dressing to the nines, over the top.
Women who wear pants and skirts are shocked, just shocked a husband would do the same thing.
It has happened to me at least two times when I was in drab. One time was in a department store, I was ther to pay on my bill and was in the ladies department and the SA said you are next mam. she looked up and said sorry, I said to her no problem. The other time I was buying a new bra and mu SA asked another SA a question and her response was what bra did she buy? A strange look from my SA, I said it ok the bra is for me anyways.
But going the other way, me calling a guy a she or the other way a she a he. I worked in a gas station back in the early 70's, it was full servie not this selfserve stuff we have now a days. At a quick glance when you would walk up to a car it was easy to make the mistake of saying can I help you mam or sir when walking up from the back of a car. Long hair, short hair sometimes they look the same from the back.
Hugs Jodi Lynn
Happened to me a long time ago in a bar....my hair used to be down to my waist...and I was stood at the bar ... when some man tapped me on the shoulder and said excuse me love....I turned round and said..... who the F.. are you calling love.... the chap was very apologetic and shrunk back to his place in the queue.....lol
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I had an interesting thing happen last week. I was checking out the earrings at our local Claire's and a woman and her little daughter were in front of me looking at them all. The woman looked at me a few times and made sure I could see the rack too, then when her daughter stepped in front of me the woman said, "honey let this woman see the earrings too."
It caught me off guard as I was dressed totally as a guy, there was nothing about me that was CDed and I don't look like a girl (I don't think....). And she had looked at me a few times already. It might have been a freudian slip by her, but it did make me wonder if I wasn't giving off a Kerrianna vibe that she subconsciously picked up on, because inside I was ALL Kerrianna, eagerly scanning the pretty earrings and looking to treat myself.
Her poor daughter looked up at me quickly, saw I was a guy, and looked back at her mom a bit confused. I just smiled.
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