Does it "invade" your thoughts too much?

[EmmaB GG]

Good morning

These are some questions to CD'ers that might help me understand what my SO goes through on a daily basis a bit more, so here goes -

(to be honest, am more interested in those who are working, as that is closest to what I experience, but all are welcome to answer!)

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?

I appreciate that many of you might not want to post your answers, so please PM me if you want.

Thanking you in advance!

Em

[Cyndi06]

I will be as honest as possible...ok ...completely honest

1. I don't really think about it at all....it's just pretty much a "normal" if you will, natural thing for me
2. My dressing does not affect my ability to work at all...of course I don't dress at work, I don't even underdress at work. My thoughts are totally on my job.
3. this one apparently doesn't apply, due to my answer in # 2. I do "occasionally catch a glance at what a GG may be wearing and think, I wonder if I could pull that off?
4. I think about how much I love my wife and about how good life has been to my family and me. (clean enough? LOL)
5. It's the norm for me

Hope this may have helped a tad.

[Lisa Golightly]

1.If I'm on one of these sites then it's because I'm thinking about it; if I'm not here then it's because I'm just being a very average Lisa.
2. No it doesn't affect my work... *ouch*
3. We all have vague moments... We're just vague for different reasons.
4. Where did she get that? Oh my God why on earth did you wear that top... and with those shoes!
5. I tend to think about clothes and makeup more than 'THE BIG TRANS ISSUE'. I did that in my teens... Now I'm just a dull shopaholic that is easily sold the latest fad by glossy magazines... Wow, 24hour lipstick... That'd be useful!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Hi Emma hopefully this helps you out some

1. yes, it does take up around 50% of daily thought but it relates to several things I do daily. Ex I concentrate on dieting and working out daily, part of my motivation for this is to look thinner and fit better into my dresses. Ex. 2 taking the stairs instead of elevator at work. Again relates to losing weight so I look better when en-femme.

2. No doesn't really effect my work any. If it does I'm usually not very focused and I'll usually day dream about anything ex. What I'll do this weekend, Eating dinner tonight, Crossdressing, What's going to happen on 24 tonight etc.

3. I sometimes think about that but again. I sometimes get distracted and lose focus by lot's of things not just specifically crossdressing. Ex. What will happen on 24 tonight.

4. What outfit's I'm going to purchase, what fem item's I need, and most importantly how I'm going to budget myself to pay for it all.

5. No this is a part of who I am, it feels so much better to think freely about crossdressing as opposed to trying repress it and think of ways to cure myself of it. Jocelyn

[Lissa Stevens]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
If I am not working I am usually cross dressed so I do think about it a lot.
2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
It doesn't keep me from focusing on work. If I am at a slow point and I see a nice looking GG I might think about her outfit or how I would like to look more like her, but it normally takes something to trigger it. I don't think about it otherwise.
3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
see above
4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
Wishing I had a more femme body so I could wear more outfits. Wishing I were a GG.
5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?
At times I would like to be "NORMAL" and not think about this stuff. On the flip side it is a part of who I am so maybe it has made me a better person. I honestly don't know a complete answer to this last one. It is kind of a Catch-22.

[marie354]

I'll try to be as honest as I can sweetie.

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
Yes I do now. Before I was able to dress as much it may have been 50% or more.

2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
When I go out, I only wear under-things & socks maybe. I'm not aware of it as much as I used to be, but when I worked, it never interfered.

4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
When I was working, I just thought of what I was doing. Maybe once in a while I would feel what I was wearing and smile.

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?
It really doesn't matter to me now, as it is becoming a normal thing to do. I plan on coming out all the way eventually, so it may begin to get a bit more exciting, but in the long run... I'm sure I'll see normality.

[AllyM]

Emma, I sent a PM. Thanks for taking the time to understand more.

[Teresa Amina]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
Someone once referred to it as a "background task", like your computers' anti-virus program- always there,(usually) not in the way.

2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
As in #1, not usually a problem. In fact it makes things much more interesting!

3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
N/A

4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
Envious thoughts about gg customers- "Ooooh! I wish I looked like her.."

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?
No, I really enjoy it all. These things are only disturbing before you come to terms with Trans-ness. Know Thyself

[MJ]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?

I appreciate that many of you might not want to post your answers, so please PM me if you want.

Thanking you in advance!

Em

to answer your questions :-
1 . i would say 70% of my day
2 . it did not affect me too much as my job was pretty much the same thing
3 . yes because i could not understand why i think about it all the time
4 . this was not a sexual thing for me , i just wondered what i would look like in certain outfits and matching heel and purse my hair wigs that sort of thing
5 . to be honest with you i wish it would all go away

now i found out a lot about myself , that i was a transsexual so when i started dressing full time most of this just got worse. now i have to look good. if i don't look as passable as possible i could be in for a very bad day

[noname]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?

Mostly all day, it does get tiring. Why it does is answered in my other answers.

2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?

Work has been difficult. Rules like, men must wear close toed shoes, and no sandles. I feel I am treated unfairly. Watching the GG's come to work is a constant reminder of this.

3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?

I try to put it out of my head, but it can be difficult. Sometimes I'm successful, other times I just end up in a nasty mood.

4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)

I'm always asking myself why I can't be treated like every other GG. Why can't I wear sandles because I'm a guy. I see girls come to work in all kinds of cool styles and makeup, and I know that no matter how much I like a style or look, that because of genetics It's not allowed.

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?

Absolutely! All I want is the freedom to wear different styles and go on with my life. Go to work, church, keep my friends etc... In short, I just want to be treated equally and get on with my life. Am I asking too much?

[CrossKimmy]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
maybe once or twice, but those are really big thoughts too...

2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
it hinders it massively.. when I think about it, boy do I think about it

3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
Not really.. just gotta have fun with it

4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
shopping, doing fittings, living as a full time female

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?
I like the balance I have

[Felix]

1. Do you think about it all the time? No because I dress as a man all the time really even In work.

2. It doesn't affect my ability to carry on with my everyday life, work etc.

3. N/A

4. What It would be like living full time as a male. How I can pass well. Is being so manly going to make me loose my youngest son. Wanting a chest.

5. Not bothered really think it's part of the course of things.

xx Felix

[melissacd]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?

I think about cross dressing a great deal, perhaps it is amplified by the separation process that I am going through.

2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?

Right now my separation is the thing that is distracting me and making it hard to work efficiently. That is because I am searching for answers and trying to figure out where my life is going next. Indirectly, this situation has been caused by cross dressing and a non-accepting wife who has decided that we must split up.

3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?

I can work equally well when dressed as when not, though my main work space is my home office. In fact because of how relaxed and in the zone I feel when dressed I actually may perform better when dressed.

4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)

The same things that I think about when I am not dressed.

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?

No. I love and embrace the CD side of myself. It has been under wraps for far too long and now that I am comfortable with it I like to let it express itself in any way that feels good.

[RobertaFermina]

1. I think about it CDing, and related issues ALOT! about 50% plus or minus 30%.

2. Doesn't affect my ability to get on with things much, but it occupies my "break time thinking." I'm as likely to cruise Crossdressers.com as BBCNEWS or CNN for a mental break. One way it gets in the way is the occasional trip to the Salon, and the 1 hour extra prep time before going out eats up errand running time on the Weekends and Off-Work hours.

3. To the extents I costs me time, and impacts my relatinships, it does concern me.

4. What sort of things do you think about? Can I wear a sleeveless dress? Will that girl at church still want to date me now (that I went EnFemme last Sunday)? What's the balance between living me life freely, and responsibly, and taking care for the confusion some family members and fellow church-goers will have to see me alternately in Male and Female Dress? This seems a positive new horizon in my spiritual and personal development - do I have the courage to keep on it, or will I draw back and away from it? Am I kidding myself?

5. Since I am new at this, I am ok with what time and thought I give to these matters. I don't judge my concern to be obsessive.

[Tiffany Tuesday]

Dear Emma,

every individual is different, likewise each tgirl has her own reasons and needs, some you would be proud of others you might be disgusted by. You may as well do a poll asking the forum's favourite flavour of ice cream then assume that was the one your SO liked!

One thing that is the same for all tgirls, is the need to find an equilibrium between being male and female. Where that might be and how to get there is different for us all. For some it is wearing panties once a week for others SRS and living as a woman. Between, there is a world of difference and an ocean of variable varying currents in which the CD either swims or sinks ... often they are sinking until they learn to swim, then they swim like mad and lose sight of land ... where your SO is in all this is for you two to discuss ... only that way can you both find an equilibrium and discover together your safe and secure island ... grass skirts and cocoanut shell bras, optional

Best of luck,
hugz x

[Sally24]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?

Off and on all day, some days 50% others 80%.

2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?

Usually is not a distraction. I do tend to write lots of notes to myself to remind me of ideas I have during the day.

4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)

I plan my outfit for my next outing, make notes on new types of pads to get or make, observe GGs that match me more or less and see what neat things they are wearing and how, plan new pictures and videos (I am really into visual stuff like photos of myself), notice the women around me and how they are moving and sitting and how they hold their hands (hands are always a problem for me, never know what to do with them), and think about changes in my eyebrows or makeup to make me more attractive.

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?

Some days they do seem to take more than their share of my attention, but usually I very much enjoy thinking about my next adventure en femme. It's definitely not what I expected from middle age!

Sally

[btmgrl6]

that about sums it up for me. If I do think about it. i am thinking how happy i am not to have to wesr those drab clothes anymore...

Steph

[Lilith Moon]

Em,

Thanks for trying to understand your SO, and us. And thanks for giving me the chance to answer from my heart.


1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?

Most of the time whenever I'm not busy and often when I am busy.


2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?

Yes, it is a constant distraction made worse by the fact that our current relationship makes it difficult for me to do any CD-ing.


3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?

Yes, but there is no way for me to "switch off" this need.


4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)

a) How I could be dressed en-femme right now doing this task. How much better I would feel.

b) Upset at having to be dressed like this instead.

c) Constantly trying to think of a way out of this situation that will not cause hurt to loved ones. I must have put hundreds of hours worth of mental/emotional effort into this.

d) Re-living some of my happiest memories from when I had a day job and I could dress and get out&about without my family finding out.

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?

By fulfilling my needs...yes.

By excising that part of me that needs to crossdress..certainly not. There wouldn't be much left.

[charlie-50]

i think about it most of the day and try to do it most of the night.

[NatalieBliss]

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
pretty much. maybe the odd day here and there I don't. I am not sure how to answer the frequency part but 70% of my daily thoughts. Mostly "cute shoes" or "nice top" thoughts.

2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
no more than any standard daydream would.

3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
n/a

4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
could i pull off that outfit? where did she get those shoes, do they come in my size? Fantastic skirt... I want one. etc...

5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?
i'd rather be able to verbalize them more often.

[SandyR]

Ok,

Being honest!

1). The only thing I think of daily is "get up early enough to shave my legs everday".

2). Must admit the wife and I do spend time shoe shopping.....

3). Work is work and I keep it that way. Other wise, how could I buy more skirts and shoes......

Wife gave me an off Black pair of Hose for my BDay last week (and a new watch).

I would say for this Girl things are in pretty good check.

Kisses!

SandyR

[Marianna Julianna]

Well since you ask.
1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
(a) Daily, from time to time but I never count the times. Sometimes it depends on how many nicely dressed women I see and I think to myself, wish I could be dressed like that right now.
2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
(a)I hardly think about it at work, but then since I only do 3-4 hours a day and have more than enough to occupy my mind then maybe that's easier for me.
3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
(a) not at all, as far as I know. I get a lot of down time as I have my rests and pace my day so it doesn't have to affect what I do.
4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
(a) I think about how much I'd rather be in a skirt/dress than trousers. I think how I'd like to have loads of money and be able to go away for a weekend once in a while and just spend time as me. I think I'd better be counting my blessings that I have one day a week when I can be me for a few hours and make the most of it, because it'll not last forever.
5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?
(a) No, makes me, me, I be someone else then and I might not like that.

[Suzie S.]

Hi Emma!

1. Yes, I think about it daily. The thoughts are on my mind 24/7 in one way or another.

2. It doesn't affect my work at all. I don't usually underdress at work. Work is work. Bills need to be paid and a job needs to get done. My performance, quality, and attendance reflect that.

3. It doesn't affect my ability to get on with things. If I'm not at work, my mind may be more occupied with these thoughts. I do underdress in my off time, and I do dress almost daily for a couple hours, either before or after work. I enjoy having my mind filled with these thoughts. I can still be the good, loving, caring husband to my sweetie, and keep my life in order while thinking about cding.

4. As far as what I think about...Well, it's all clean. I think about cding in general. I think about clothes I'm going to wear or want to buy. I enjoy looking at GG's out in the world, going about their business. I try to learn more about how they dress, use makeup, and carry themselves. I do have to admit I sometimes get overwhelmed with jealousy that I'm not a woman. There are some triggers that can put my mind in a bit of a tailspin. Even though I have no plans to alter myself in any way, I do think about what it might be like. I do want to be a woman, but I know that I could never give up the wonderful life I have now to start over again. So I do what I do to be as close as I'll ever get to the girl I should have been. I do know how to keep fantasy and reality seperate of each other, If thats the quick answer you were looking for.

5. Would I rather be less occupied by these thoughts? No. These thoughts are part of who I am. I can't change that. I enjoy these thoughts. Some I act on, some I don't/can't. Short of a lobotomy, these thoughts willl always be here.

[Joy Carter]

Good morning

These are some questions to CD'ers that might help me understand what my SO goes through on a daily basis a bit more, so here goes -

(to be honest, am more interested in those who are working, as that is closest to what I experience, but all are welcome to answer!)

1. Do you think about CDing daily? All day, 50%, once or twice etc?
2. How does it affect your ability to get on with things, especially if you are working?
3. if it does affect your ability to get on with things, does that concern you?
4. What sort of things do you think about? (please, keep it clean!!!)
5. Would you rather be less occupied by these thoughts?

I appreciate that many of you might not want to post your answers, so please PM me if you want.

Thanking you in advance!

Em

NOT NO MORE !

[hotbobbie]

No i really do not think about it at all. I get up in the morning get ready for work put on my bra ect. stop off and get my coffee and head to work. I have no thoughts of what i am have on as it is just all part of my life now.