From the other side of the fence.....

[Emma_Forbes]

Hello all,

I am in a bit of a quandary - well that's unusual I hear you say! I have decided to write this post exactly as I feel and not go back and re-edit it; if I answer my own question by the end, I won't be surprised -

I am accepted by my aunt and uncle and they have allowed me to fully express myself while I am staying with them and will chat to them on the phone about it without thinking. They are the only people outside the tg community by whom I am fully accepted in this way.

However, I feel that they are coping with it because they love me more than they hate the crossdressing - if that makes sense. I get the impression that they would rather Emma didn't make an appearance at all. The problem here is that I know that if I broached the subject with them they would deny that it is an issue because of their love for me. I love them and value them enormously but have suddenly found that I am no longer comfortable with them because there seems to be this issue between us. OK so it's probably my imagination - or is it? I really don't know and I don't know what to do about it. I don't dress all the time that I am there, just some of the time, and I don't spring it on them either.

Perhaps I should go for a weekend and not dress at all - good idea - but I think there would be resentment on my part and curiosity on theirs. What a mess! I really don't know how to handle this. Sometimes, fleetingly, I wish I'd never got into this in the first place - aaaarrgh!

I would love to know what it's like on the other side of the fence. I know GG's out there probably have valuable insights in this area and would welcome their views along with everyone else's. In addition, if there is someone that you have told who is not your SO but could throw some light on their feelings I would be interested to hear and immensely grateful,

A frustrated, confused and struggling girlfriend

Em

[Sally24]

Isn't LOVE about accepting the whole package, the good with the bad? Even if you're right about your Aunt and Uncle, it should not make a difference. There are coping because it is important for you and they love you. It is the same with many SOs. The find a way to cope with the parts that they don't like because it is an important part of their husband. I say you need to find a way to deal with this yourself. Is it possible that you are also a little uncomfortable with yourself? I've been at this many years and still run into those funny days or situations where you realize that you are still not completely at home in your own skin. Sometimes it is us that has to learn to change or cope and not the world at large that is the problem.

Sally

[Summer]

Sally has good Instincts, go ahead and be yourself and get use to you! Once you do you will be happier and others will accept whom you really are. No matter what don't loose the love and trust of you Aunt and Uncle. They accept you for you.

Summer

[RobertaFermina]

Here's an idea.

You get to have resentment AFTER you have asked all the questions and gotten all the answers and then put yourself in their shoes.

That could give you a reprieve from resentment, if not relief.

While you at it here's a rose for you: You got permission to be your beautiful self long before the day you were born!


Roberta

[AllieSF]

All good advice. Maybe its a contagious type of situation where you feel their uneasiness because you are not completely at ease with yourself. As said above, feeling and demonstrating your own confidence may help them overcome their own inner feelings. Could be a win - win situation for all parties.

[Lovely Rita]

I would take your family at their word. If it is something they are working on and getting used to, isn't that natural? If their love for you outweighs their dislike for any part of you.........I would think that was great. They are who they are and they sound like trully wonderful people. It would be manipulative to try and force them to accept cding just because you like it.

In my book it is enough that they love you and by loving you they will really have a better approach to the cding.

I never really sympathized with the plight of different people until I loved some one from their group. Empathy and compassion are outgrowths of our love.
If more people had a cd they loved, this world would be a better place at leaste for us. Your family sounds great. Make sure you love them and let the other stuff go.

my two cents

[Emily Ann Brown]

Same questions with my daughter sis. I end up MAYBE looking at fem stuff in guy mode when we are out and hoping she is cool with it. I act only when she brings up the opportunity. No good answers, just wanted you to know you are not the only one.

Emily Ann