Do you keep a diary?

[Christine Andrews]

Hello all!

I was curious as to whether any of you keep a diary in regards to your crossdressing? I personally do and I have found it really helpful in exploring myself and working towards self acceptance - to be able to pour out my most personal and innermost thoughts and express them in a manner which cannot be judged or criticised and in a way which I can look back and interprate more objectively later. Although I don't record in it dailly just when something significant happens or I have a brainwave (otherwise, there wouyld be little of value in it - curse my introverted nature and somewhat uneventful life )

I realise that if found I am in deep trouble as it would reveal more to the reader than I would want anyone to know but for me as tool it is really positive.

So does anyone else keep a diary and does it help you in anyway?

[Kate Simmons]

Just be careful, Hon. I used to keep a journal which I thought was well hidden. It was found by my wife and in an attempt to dissuade me through embarrassment, she showed it to the Elders of our Church. They felt it made me an "undesirable" member and when I would not "repent" and give up my femme self, they kicked me out. As a result, I went into deep depression, lost all of my friends and my family slowly disintegrated as it became common knowledge. As a result, I never write my thoughts down any more as they may be used in incriminate me. It's okay to write it down but just make very sure it's for your eyes only. Mine was probably an extreme case but it did happen. Sal

[Country girl]

[SIZE=3]I used to keep a diary, for years and years. Just got out of the habit. Personally, I think it is a great way to explore your true feelings and get to be more accepting and a better person for being able to go back, reread and decipher what things really make you happy and what things you'd like to change. However, I do have to agree that it should be a very private thing, one where there is no chance for discovery. For this reason, I would lock it up in a spare suitcase or hide it very carefully. Take care, CG gg[/SIZE]

[DAVIDA]

I have thought about it and came to the conclusion that I don't have anything to say.I am the type of person that lives through an event and then goes on to another without dwelling on the past to much. Besides, I just don't have the time to do it.
Love, Davida

[Karren H]

My blog on 360 is kind of like my diary... more like a travel-log...

Karren

[Lisa Golightly]

I used to when I was young and was a bit confused as to who I was and where I was going... Now that I know the answers I guess I no longer feel the need, so I don't. January 1st 2000 was the last entry... After a night at a party in my best frock I looked up at the stars and decided I was rather ecstatic with my decision to just be me... Lisa.

I think you are right they can be very good tools in helping you see yourself in the 3rd person, which at times can be the only way to make sense of something. A very positive thing indeed

[Paulacder]

I agree with you Sal. I personally think a photo album serves a much better purpose. You can be your worst critic. If you are constantly trying to perfect you'r look, as I think we all do. You can look back at your first pictures and see the changes that you have made either in makeup or dress. That have progressed you to where you are today.

[Sharon B.]

Yes, I do keep a diary although I don't post daily in in it. I keep it on the web on Sissy Salon.

[Lissa Stevens]

I use a blog on my myspace page. I am using it trying to educate others while trying to understand myself.

[GinaVegas]

No, I don't keep a diary. But I did find a website where you can keep an online diary and where you can make it private (or public if you'd like to).....

http://www.diaryland.com

I'm sure that there are others out there.

[Casey Morgan]

I've got a diary but I haven't written anything in a while. Like Lisa, it was a godsend when I was just starting to work things out. But now that I can fairly freely say things that I wouldn't have admitted under torture a year ago, I don't need to do it so much. Nowadays it's mostly for when I get stuck inside my head and I need to put things down in writing to get a better perspective on them.

[Daintre]

Yes, I keep a journal, I have for many years. It was my therapist who suggested it and I faithfully wrote to it daily. I find that today my entries are shorter and less involved. I guess I re-cap my day in the journal these days rather than go in depth.

[Phyliss]

Many, many years ago I kept a sort of journal for myself, (long before any thought of CD). Always thought it was well hidden. Wrong!!! wife found it and of course read it. There was nothing in it that could "get me in trouble" but still, it was a kind of "invasion" of my deepest thoughts.
Haven't kept one since. Now I do have a photo album of some of my dressing. THAT is WELL HIDDEN , should it be found,....well, ....lets just say, I won't be posting anymore. Kinda difficult to log on from a casket.

[EricaCD]

I use my blog for this purpose. I find writing extremely therapeutic; however, if I know that nobody will be reading, I quickly lapse into lazy writing. The fact that I wind up revealing a bit more of myself (especially the unflattering parts) is worth the tradeoff in terms of improved prose.

[Christine Andrews]

Thankyou for the replies.

It's interesting to see the ways and whys that others record their thoughts. What led to me starting mine was the need for an outlet where I could just say exactly was on my mind and not have to worry what anyone else may think and I learned that my mum kept a diary during her pregnancy with me for a simillar reason (although hers was alot more consistant and positive).

The consequences of someone discovering my diary are something I didn't dwell upon (unusually for me) and this has given me food for thought. Salandra reading your reply kicked me into gear and I think that I will follow yours and Country girl GG's advice and lock it up somewhere, especially given the honesty and openess it contains.

I know I'm definitely going to keep writing until the time comes where I don't need to or it's discovered. I think I move to electronic format and look into the diaryland link (thanks GinaVegas) - because whilst I can clear my internet history from the computer, I cannot stop file names appearing on the last documents bar on Word...

Thanks Again!

P.S I didn't think of photo albums. That may be something for the future...but I'll stick to the diary for now.

[lowlavalentine]

I keep a gender related blog, which is good because I have trouble reading my own handwriting at times.

Lowla

[suzy]

Nope..... that is too risky for me! Too much evidence in one spot that can only cause me harm. Not willing to take that much risk at this point. Guess I'm just too paranoid still.....and overly careful.

[KimberlyS]

I started a journal when my wife and I began actively working through our CDing issues. I agree with you that it very helpful both with figuring out more of who I was and working thought the CDing and other issues with my wife and in working with our counselors.

The two biggest things it did for me was first to get some of my many thoughts written down. Most of which were a random tangled mess of thoughts that at times were running at high speeds through my mind. Second,like you said, my journal then helped me to reflect and organize my thoughts and writings to information that became very helpful to working through many things and not only the CDing issues.

I highly recommend it to anyone as one tool to help work through different things.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I keep a blog. Not sure if anyone reads it, so it's more for my own edification and bemusement.

[Val Tan]

i keep a blog too. mainly to get those feelings and thoughts out of my system before i implode

[Heelsnlegs]

I would love to keep a diary. Thinking a blog might do the job. Anyone have any suggestions which blog site might be the most appropriate for a TG Diary?

[Sally24]

I keep all my photos together and look them over to see what progress I am making. I also keep a diary of most of my outings in public. I jot down events and happenings that I want to remember. I also include any critical things good or bad. I try new outfits and makeup and detail what things worked well and which things were a flop. I kept a diary off and on most of my life and find it helps me retain memories better and gives me a good reference to past experiences. I even kept an audio journal for awhile in the 70's but that was too cumbersome. Interesting to go back and listen to my old voice. I had quite a New England accent at one point. (yes I said "caa" instead of "car"!).

Sally

[Phoebe Reece]

I have a diary entry for each time I dress and go out. I've been doing this for about 3 years. I actually publish mine in my Tri-Ess chapter's monthly newsletter to give a historical account of what our membership is doing each month. It is my hope that accounts of my adventures will show others that going out dressed can be an almost normal thing. It also helps me in trying to remember names of people I have met and the places I have been along the way.

[Rachel75]

I think a diary is just a book of secrets waiting to be found. You never know who's hands it will turn up in. You can never be too safe. If you want to keep secrets, don't leave a paper trail.

[krisla]

Like Karen I use my blog, seems to get something in it weekly, It is nice to see how things change when you look at it

Krisla