Do you really feel like a woman?

[Elizabeth Ann]

I'm pretty new at this, although I am 56 years old. Several years ago, I started occasionally wearing panties. It was obviously a sexual thing, although as a married hetersexual male, I didn't really understand the thrill.

Over the years, as my wife's interest in sex cooled considerably, the majority of my sex life was solitary and in the shower. In that context, I began experimenting with more cross dressing during the past year, and it has become a significant source of pleasure for me. My wife knows and tolerates the panties. I would tell her the rest if she asked, but she hasn't.

I guess what I want to know is: is this an evolutionay process? Everyone here keeps talking about feeling like a woman, and seems to delight in taking on that role.

I don't feel like a woman. In fact, I don't know what I feel. I put on the clothes. I look in the mirror. I sit at the computer and take pleasure when I look down at my pantihose and skirt clad leg. I go about my daily business with a bit more happiness. But I feel like no one else than myself. I don't feel feminine, or really any desire to do so. Curiously, I have noticed without any plan to do so that the frequency of m______ (that shower thing that I'm not sure I'm allowed to say) has significanly reduced since I started this.

Obviously, this cross dressing has something to do with femaleness, or there wouldn't be any point to it. Whether it is "gender" related or "sex" related, I don't know. In fact, I don't understand this at all.

And I really don't understand this feeling like a woman thing. I picked the name Elizabeth when I joined this forum because it seemed like the thing to do. But there really isn't an Elizabeth, and I don't know if there ever will be.

Elizabeth (or Larry)

Thanks for all the responses. Please note the clarification I made below and quote here:

Clarification
Thanks very much for the replies.

I'm sorry if my language was imprecise. I certainly agree that no one knows how it feels to be the other gender, or really to be anyone else than themselves.

What I meant was that many on this forum say that when they cross dress, they take on a new identity/personality/emotional state/etc., and that this change is, to their way of thinking, feminine. That is, they "feel like a woman" in whatever sense they understand that to be. It is decidedly an internal transition, not an emulation of another individual, but a transition nonetheless.

That's what I don't feel and don't really understand. When I put on a dress, I'm just me in a dress. It brings pleasure but I don't feel any change in personality, gestalt, sexual orientation, or other phenonoma described on the forum.

That's what I would like to understand. I sense changes within me, but not this one, which frankly I regard with ambivalence.

Elizabeth

[Leslie Foxx]

Elizabeth,
Yes, there are times when I feel like what I think a woman feels like, and I love it. The sexual "stimulation" of dressing has passed for me, but I do feel sexy when en femme.

My urge to dress began at an early age. I'll be 59 next month.

As long as it makes you happy, and harms no one else, what's the problem? Explore and be who you are.

[silkybillie]

Yes!
Thats what its all about!

[Mary Jane]

I do not feel like a woman. Well, how would you really know since we are NOT women? I just feel like ME when I dress.

[danielle_from_cal]

I think that most of us use the expression "feeling like a woman" to mean that we feel "right"; dresssing as many women do makes us feel like we are dressed appropriately. We cannot really know how women feel. It would be presumptuous to assume that all people of any gender feel the same as each other or that we feel like any of them.

I often say to people when I am dressed (and often think to myself) that I feel "so feminine". I overuse the term. Really, I just feel "right".

[Brianna Lovely]

I don't know about that, but I do know that I'm a TG person.

I'm more than a man.

More happy, more relaxed, more loving, more tolerant, more accepting and more emotional. If any of these things, bring me closer to understanding how a woman feels, then yes, I feel like a woman.

If nothing else, since accepting myself, for who I am, I've never been happier.

[Wenda]

I understand the different experiences. When I am on this forum, I am femme, and all the people here are femme.
I went through a period of several months when dressing actually suppressed sexual urges, completely. For me, the various aspects of dressing ebb and flow.
One thing i have discovered however, if I relieve myself when dressed, I immediately loose the urge to remain dressed. Not sure if it is a repressed guilt reaction or something physiological, psychological or ???. w.

[Kate Simmons]

Not sure what a woman feels like, Hon. I guess I just feel like myself mostly, whether I'm expressing and presenting myself in a way associated with the way women do or not.

[Teresa Amina]

I don't think "feel like a woman" means a lot. What can we compare how we feel with? Most people are just Themselves. No questions, no conflicts, no longing for "otherness". So any particular woman would probably just give you a certain "must be crazy" look if you asked her what it felt like to be herself.
I don't presume to know how it feels to be a woman and so stop short of saying I do. But when formed, padded, wigged and otherwise Teresa-fied I feel real good and like very much what I see in the mirror. Oooooh! So close!

[Daintre]

I have to agree with the majority of answers here, it feels "right". We cannot know how a woman truly feels, we can only be ourselves and if this needs to be shown by wearing female clothes at times, well alright then.

[linnea]

I feel comfortable; I feel many very pleasant sensations that come with the softness and other texture of women's clothing; I feel that a part of my personality (what I have come to think of as a feminine part) is very fully and freely expressed. I don't know what a woman feels, though I can empathize with what I believed to be some feminine thoughts and feelings and in that sense I can share those feelings.
I enjoy dressing now more than ever after over fifty years of doing it. It is occasionally stimulating sexually, but in my most recent decade of doing it, it is mostly matter of overall contentment and fulfillment.

[Sally24]

There are sexual crossdressers where the whole thrill is about the clothes and not "feeling feminine". There are a whole range of different reasons for dressing and reactions to the experience. Your experience may change with time, but it may stay the same. Some people progress to different levels but others enjoy what they started with and don't change. You'll just have to see how you feel as time goes on.

Sally

[Missy]

I do not or ever felt like a woman when in fem I just love to wear as much weman clothing when ever I can. for some reason I look in the mirrior and see a man tring too look like a woman but never making it passable. as far as feeling like a woman I have no recall of feeling like a woman
I started dressing when I was 7 or so and now I am 45

Missy

[janey]

I think my goal in crossdressing is to feel more like a woman, in having smooth legs, wearing perfume, silky lingerie, sexy dresses, makeup, breastforms and a wig. If I had a magical ring that would turn me into a woman when I wore it, I'd wear it more then not! I think most of us love that feeling and have a desire to feel womanly, to be womanly, that's why we take on the female outside, to match our feelings inside.

[joann07]

The moment I am fully dressed, and slip on my heels, I feel like a woman.
There's just something about it that switches me from male to female mode.
I feel more relaxed and less stressed.

[Jenny Wilson]

Like many of the rest of you, I don't know what it feels like to "feel like a woman." Heck, I'm not even sure if I know what it feels like to feel like a man. I just know how it feels like to be me, whether I'm in drab or en femme.

One thing I know is that I definitely feel different when I'm en femme, and I like how it feels.

Jenny

[Byllie]

Feel like a woman? Not really. Rather, I feel like me, the *whole* me. There's nothing like whering a comfy skirt and top and watching the tellly.

[Edwina]

Like many of the rest of you, I don't know what it feels like to "feel like a woman." Heck, I'm not even sure if I know what it feels like to feel like a man. I just know how it feels like to be me, whether I'm in drab or en femme.

One thing I know is that I definitely feel different when I'm en femme, and I like how it feels.

Jenny

That about sums it for me too.

Edwina

[Holly]

I feel like what I think it feels like to feel like a woman... that's as close as I think I can get. Probably a long way from reality. Then again I only feel like what I think it feels like to be a man as well. I'd be very surprised if any two of us could agree what it felt like to be one or the other (or both). Maybe we'd be better off feeling happy about how we feel about ourselves.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Thanks very much for the replies.

I'm sorry if my language was imprecise. I certainly agree that no one knows how it feels to be the other gender, or really to be anyone else than themselves.

What I meant was that many on this forum say that when they cross dress, they take on a new identity/personality/emotional state/etc., and that this change is, to their way of thinking, feminine. That is, they "feel like a woman" in whatever sense they understand that to be. It is decidedly an internal transition, not an emulation of another individual, but a transition nonetheless.

That's what I don't feel and don't really understand. When I put on a dress, I'm just me in a dress. It brings pleasure but I don't feel any change in personality, gestalt, sexual orientation, or other phenonoma described on the forum.

That's what I would like to understand. I sense changes within me, but not this one, which frankly I regard with ambivalence.

Elizabeth

[DawnRodgers]

I guess that I just try to act, talk and attempt to look and present as much like a woman as I can. I liie the feel and look of the clothes, try to wear outfits that show off my best features, wear full makeup, polish on my fingers and toes, jewelry, perfume - anything and everything to look, smell and feel like a woman. Love the feeling and would truly want to live 24/7 as a woman.
Want all, the good and the bad, of that existence. When fully Dawn I am happier than I have ever been as a man. My mind sees no down side, although, at times I do often wonder what it would truly be like.
Also wonder that if I was born as a woman, would I want to be a man?
Dawn

[loriannetucson]

No one can tell you who you are except YOU. I always enjoyed dressing as a girl when I was younger, but that was because I ultimately came to terms with my Gender Identity Disorder. I realized that I was "crossdressing" because my mind thought that I SHOULD be dressed like that because that was who I was. I don't feel like a man as much as I feel like a woman (thanks Shania!). I look like a man but I know I am a woman inside me. Seeing a therapist can help you to determine who you are at your core. You see, even when I dream, I oftentimes dream that I'm female, and that speaks a lot about my core identity. If you simply enjoy wearing female clothing, are aroused by wearing women's clothing, you might find that is all you are and not desire for anything else.

I would recommend reading the sexual identity "disorders" in the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual IV, the "bible" for psychologists and social workers. I clearly meet all the criterion for gender identity disorder. I will not let others tell me who I am or am not any longer.

Hope this helps,
Lori Anne

[Stephenie S]

What everyone is stumbling about here is the fact that you can't "feel like a woman". Women don't "feel" any diffrent than men "feel". Women are PEOPLE just like you. People feel like people. Individuals feel like individuals.

What we CAN do is feel what it's like to wear clothes generally belonging to the oposite sex, ie, women. You will only ever be able to "feel" like you because you are only you.

BUT, . . . Can you feel what it's like to wear a bra? Of course.
Can you feel what it's like to wear a dress? Of course.
Can you feel what it's like to wear high heels? Of course.
You can even feel what it's like to have a vagina if you want to
go through all that surgery.

Well that's just exactly what it feels like when a woman wears a bra, a dress, high heels, etc. There's no real mystery here. Women are not some strange species. They are people and they "feel" just like you "feel".

What does it feel like to be a woman? That's just as impossible a question to answer as, "What does it "feel" like to be a man, or what does it "feel" like to be short, or what does it "feel" like to be tall? But we can answer the question of 'What does it "feel" like to dress like a woman'. Just put on their clothes. THAT'S what it "feels" like. But it's still you, sweetie.

We can grow our hair long, peirce our ears, shave our legs, diet all the time, obsess about our wardrobe, learn to wear makeup, etc, etc. All we will ever know is what it feels like to do all those things. But we are still only us, and that's all a woman will "feel" when she does exactly the same thing. She knows what it feels like to have long hair, she knows what it feels like to have pierced ears, she knows what it feels like to shave her legs, diet all the time, obsess about her wardrobe, wear makeup, ONLY to the extent that she does those things. After that, she is only herself, and will only ever "feel" like herself. And, after that, you are only yourself, and you will only ever "feel" like yourself.

Just MHO.

Stephie

[cindychan]

I think I feel the closest approximation to a woman can short of hormones.

[sandra-leigh]

I guess what I want to know is: is this an evolutionay process? Everyone here keeps talking about feeling like a woman, and seems to delight in taking on that role.

In the past couple of days, I've posted a couple of times about how dressing in womens clothing has become a comfortable part of my life. Clothing that could be for either gender, or clothing that is not commonly worn by men but is not so different that people notice anything strange. Even some things that are clearly blouses can be worn with bra and forms without people paying attention, if your forms aren't too big and you aren't sitting right across from someone who is paying attention to you. And tonight I ate out with a stretch top and bust that was definitely a bust to anyone who looked.

This wearing of womens' clothes in everyday life just starts to seem natural and appropriate -- they become the clothes that "look good today", just like there's probably a bunch of shirts in your closet that just don't catch your interest anymore. Wearing clothes that pass within the limits of social tolerance (which also tolerates fashions such as Goth!) stops being "exciting" (yes, in that way) and becomes normal. It stops being risque. Now, I do admit that my wearing a clear bust tonight was still a bit risque for me -- but on the other hand, I've gone out for hours at a time wearing large forms (40G bra) under tops that don't emphasize the bust, and it hasn't been risque at all. Wearing forms that people are likely not to pay attention to, starts feeling normal and desirable as well -- there is something about having "breasts" that just feels right to a lot of crossdressers. I've said it and a number of others here have said it: get a pair of silicon forms that are the right size for your body and comfort level, and they will likely almost immediately feel like something was missing before you put them on. I'm not saying that the idea of actually having a C or D or whatever cup will no longer be a turn on, but the reality quickly becomes that wearing the forms for hours just feels like the right thing to do, not "exciting" most of the time (except when you are deliberately showing them off.)

So I wear womens' clothes when I'm "presenting" as a male, and I wear forms "non-obviously" (but there for the unusually observant) when presenting in "guy" mode. The closer I get to having noticably female clothes or bust while still "presenting" as male, the more I am "gender-bending". A fair number of people on the forums would not feel comfortable with the possibility of someone noticing the non-male aspects; for me, sitting on the borderline seems right for me -- I've incorporated those things into my everyday life, as part of me. And sometimes I say, "What the heck?" and go out wearing a skirt (usually a long one) with otherwise male appearance; doing so has seldom been a problem of any sort.

That all said: there are times when I get all dressed up, in obviously female clothes, with forms (shape obvious or not depending on what I'm wearing), wig and makeup, perhaps some jewelry too such as earrings. These times, when I go over to a complete female look, feel quite different. When I go out like that, I am sort of becoming a different person, at least in the eyes of the world, and I expect to be treated differently, and I feel differently about myself, and I have reactions that my male self cannot easily explain. For example, while Dressed, there was a guy in a bar who said (sincerely) "Nice legs!", and that made me feel good, as did the time last summer that a guy I passed while crossing the street said "Outstanding!", referring to the way my legs and butt appeared in the skirt. And just a few days ago when I was fully dressed, another (male) crossdresser took me by the hand to lead me somewhere, and I felt a thrill at it. Guys smile, guys hold doors -- and I love the attention. Not so much so that I go fishing for compliments, and I don't dress up "sexy" hoping to "reel in" someone for awhile... but I feel good and excited about dressing sexy in hopes that people (men and women) will be kinda turned on by seeing me. Last week I was wearing a nice (professional-looking) dress and dark black nylons that looked sexy, and was talking to a guy (in a LGBT bar) who was (without question) aware I was a crossdresser, and he asked me to "show some leg" -- and I didn't hesitate to flip my skirt back more for a moment, wanting me-the-female to be appreciated. When I'm nicely Dressed, something inside inside me is no longer firmly anchored to being a male, to reacting as a male. It might not be "feeling like a woman", but what else to call it when the instinctive feelings are no longer those we're accustomed to as a male? For lack of a better expression, it is an "altered state of mind".

When I am Dressed, I don't lose any of my appreciation for women, and indeed I rather like it when a woman sees me as a crossdresser and likes that I crossdress. Unfortunately, I'm not good enough yet to pass as a woman to a woman who is paying attention to me, so I haven't experienced that altered state in my reactions to women. Someone posted a couple of months ago of passing well enough in a washroom that a woman asked if they had any tampons; I imagine it would be a thrill to feel treated as a woman by a woman. And I can always dream about having a lesbian hit on me