I'm beginning to think that appearing more feminine and passing is very much a learned skill. I know there are those that are very tall, or have heavy beards and that for many it is a dream that may never come true. But, don't be so sure.
I read over and over postings that say I could never pass. I'm sure for some of that's true. I said that myself. "How can I ever pass?" I would ask in the morning when I saw myself. "No way, not now, not ever."
The desire to dress and be out in the world as woman was stronger than the idea that I couldn't pass, so I started going out to see how I would do.
I've had my ups and downs, exciting moments and and some humiliating ones too. It was hard sometimes, especially after some difficult experience, like a rude SA. I kept going out to more and more places and kept changing and evolving. I know there is more to go but for now, I'm pretty proud of myself for learning the skill of passing.
I'm now passing, visually, 100%. Progress seems to come from many of the little things that take along time to figure out.
Here's my list of the things I found made a difference to my passing.
Finding the right clothing styles and colors in the right sizes:
I've gone from androgynous, to frumpy, mature and now settling in with clothing that fits closer to my body, lower necklines, more lace. There is no mistaking that my clothing is female.
Hair:
Getting the right hair style, color has taken a long, long time. There is so much to learn about taking care of women's length hair, and very few ways to learn. I'm learning by observing and trying.
Eyeglasses: This was a big one. I have worn women wire/metal combination frames for a long time. the were femme but barely. About 6 months ago I bought a red pair and what a difference it has made.
Jewelry: Similar to all the above, having a "wardrobe" of daytime jewelry was important. Having your ear ring in the right size, color etc. make a difference too. I have been read even less since I began to wear more dangling ear rings...more femme...more passing.
Make up and nail polishes:
Too much, not enough, too red, too pink. You just gotta try and find what looks best on you. How will you know what looks best? for me, it was when I began to get compliments on how I looked. People would say " you look terrific, tonight". Nothing specific, but that i looked good...so do more of what you are doing when you feel good about yourself and when you are passing and getting compliments.
As an example, My hair has been very, very long for 4 years. I wear it a number of ways and loved it. I recently cut it cut to shoulder length with a new style and the compliments started. It seems the more femme I'm willing to look the better I do
There is no formula for most of this. It takes time, patience, testing, trying, experimenting.
As I look back at the clothing I've bought last 5 years I can see distinct "looks" I have tried. It takes time for the blossom to unfold into a beautiful flower.
THIS IS ONE OF THE REASON THAT WHEN WE COME OUT WE GO CRAZY AND BUY SO MUCH STUFF
After years of feeling and being in the wrong clothes, clothes that don't express who we are, we're ready and anxious to find out what we look best in and what makes us feel the best about ourselves.
That's how most women do it..We just have a late start and time to make up
Love you all
Originally Posted by jessie_cal
