Having problems acting like I think!

[nataliecd77]

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Ok I'm going to try and ask this question, although it my not come out making as much sense on paper as in my head. If it doesn't please ask for clarification and I'll try!

When Natalie actually dresses as Natalie there is very little difference in the way her and him act, Yet when I think of Natalie, her expectations are to be more feminine acting. For some reason I can think of what I need to be doing to be more fmeinine but I can't actually manage to accomplish it. I think like a diva yet act like a "guy in a dress". I know when I'm male mode I can sit with my legs spread, I know when I'm Natalie I need to cross my legs. Yet when I dress for the first few moments I act like Natalie, yet after 15 minutes and a distraction or 2 I'm back to a redneck in a skirt. Any ideas how I can overcome this mental block and actually act more feminine? Any advice would be welcome.
Natalie

[MJ]

go out in to the real world... you will be on guard all the time, makeing sure you say and do the right thing , it's pratice and lots of it
does your S.O know she could help you

[GACountrygal]

I'm the SO, cant help much, since I cant figure out what *mental block* is keeping the thoughts from being actions..
So we need all yalls help PLEASE!!!
Nic

[claireswife-gg]

Go out in public, that'll keep you on your toes.

Perhaps wear a ring, something bright and visible that you'll see and remember?

A heavy anklet?

[GACountrygal]

just for clarification, going out in public is not an option for now.

Nic

[claireswife-gg]

Hmm... okay then, scratch that. I think that visual cues like an anklet and/or ring might really help. When you cross your legs guy style, a hand normally goes on the knee. I'm a die-hard tomboy and I do that. Since you'll be at home, stick a BIG gaudy ring on the finger of that hand as a reminder.

Well timed "ahem"s from the SO will help get in the right frame of mind too.

That's what Claire does to me anyway. Or the raised eyebrow. I look and realize that I'm definately in tomboy mode

[marie354]

How about the simple.... Practice, practice, practice. Practice makes perfect. I don't think that there is any faster way.

[SandyR]

I think it does take alot of practice, practice. It took me a year to get the voice right just in case, when what I really should have been working on was my big old "boy smile". On the flip side of the coin, I am always cathing myself in guy mode crossing my legs like a real pretty Girl dressed in a nice skirt with cool heels on.....heheh....

Hugs....

SandyR

[GACountrygal]

Ok,
Maybe I can add some clarification here since SO is busy at the moment.
When en femme, the actions are no different then when en drab. Theres no difference between the two.
We're tryin to figure out a way to bring out the femme in the en femme (so to speak) instead of just havin the *guy in a dress* thing that seems to have been happenin.

claireswifegg, that sounds like a good suggestion, and we will definetaly try that!!!

Keep it comin yall!
We need all the help we can get!
I'm a tomboy, so I guess this would be something we both could work on lol

Nic

[nataliecd77]

Thnaks for the replies! I like the idea of the ring that might be a good reminder, I'll efintely have to try that out. I think I may have stumbled upon the "block" so to speak a lil while ago and am going to try something out and see if it rectifies the situation. I'll keep updated on sucess or failure, although am rela=uctant to mention my "solution" as of this time. Maybe in the near future
Luv,
Natalie

[Eva Diva]

It's an interesting problem. It made me think about the teenage girls who pull their hands into their long sleeves out of habit. I assume that they pick it up from each other in school. I see these "handless" girls all the time at the mall, and they don't look like the kind of girls who end up in medical school. It's like they are leaving to boys the ability to reach out and control the world around themselves.
Anyway....I'm guessing that "reprogramming" yourself to internalize female mannerisms will take a lot of doing. Maybe try doing what actors sometimes do. When they are going to play a cop, they go hang out with cops for a week. So just observe women - closely. What is it that they do to make themselves recognizably female? How do they hold their hands while they talk? How do they handle forks? When they listen to each other talk, how do they acknowledge the speaker? Do they nod, turn their heads, repeat what they hear?
After that, it's like someone said: practice.

There's an old joke from the fifties. A tourist asks a New Yorker how to get to Carnegie Hall. The New Yorker thinks a second and says "Practice, man, practice".

It takes girls years to learn it all - don't be in too much of a hurry.

[claireswife-gg]

Yeah, you can always tell when I've been hanging out with cops or at the fire dept... I get very much into my boy mode.

I tease Claire (and vice versa) that she sure got a crappy role model for womanly mannerisms. Can't tell you how many times we go somewhere and I'll have one ankle over a knee (in jeans though) while Claire has ankles daintily crossed!

[MJ]

I'm the SO, cant help much, since I cant figure out what *mental block* is keeping the thoughts from being actions..
So we need all yalls help PLEASE!!!

Nic

WHAT how come i did not get the memo !!!!! why am i the last to know

[GACountrygal]

WHAT how come i did not get the memo !!!!! why am i the last to know

[MJ]

OK well Natalie may i say you look very passable , come up here for a week i can teach you , oh your S.O has a gun right, lol well i think you have to get in the frame of mind you need to dress very feminine everything nails toes the works , as you are house bound i think that old movies with women in them would work and you must copy there style and actions , you see it takes time to build your female persona i too was a guy in a dress for a while but i watch all the woman around me and do what they do , and keep doing that until it became my first nature , like the way they smile head movements hands there face the way the girls smile how they eat , the best way to walk in heels is go to a mall find a woman with the same size heels and follow her and do what she does.. again you can't do that but maybe on the television you copy them ? , just come here to Toronto for the weekend I'll fix you up lol , you will find this is hard but you can do this, i hope this helps

[Fallen Angel]

If your forgeting that your in fem mode while dressed sounds like your comferteble in either with your self.and your just being you.the femininities come in time as a few have said thats with going out alittle or picking up some movements from our genetic sisters but in the mean time just enjoy Hugs Angel

[Lori SC]

Hi Natalie,

How long are you dresed at any one time, and what do you do while dressed?

I find that the longer I am dressed, the more feminine I think I act. Now I am talking more than four hours here.

I noticed this just last Sunday. I was dressed for 7 hours and then started making dinner (that took over an hour). I was alone, but when I was walking around, I just felt like swinging my hips when I walked - it seemed to come natural. I was also wearing 2" heels the entire time.

I've noticed this before, this is just the most recent example.

I also think a lot has to do with comfort level. If I am nervous, I don't feel feminine, and probably don't act it. Since I was at home alone, and spent so much time enfemme, maybe I was more comfortable with the clothes, the situation etc. Doing more "feminine" tasks probably helps. Changing oil on the car would not.

If you have limited time for dressing, this may not help you.

Another thing which might help is the clothing you wear. If you choose a very short, tight skirt, and a tight fitting blouse, and 3-4" heels, you just have to move differently and posture differently, or you will show things you don't want shown. This might be an excuse to dress ****ty! You can't cross your legs (ankle to knee) in a pencil skirt!

After that - hmmmm hypnosis? I've often wondered what a post hyponotic suggestion would do

Hugs, Lori

[Alice Torn]

Tell him to put on jeans, t-shirt, and running shoes! And a wig. That is the modern uniform, the vast majority of gg's wear, anyway. He will be "cross dressing". It seems more men, are interested in wearing dresses, and skirts, now, than gg's!!

[crusadergirl]

I too have had that problem acting like i think. Both in guy mode and girl mode. I mite pass in looks as a girl but my actions are more of a guy most of the time. unless i go out alone. If i go out with friends i always act the part wrong don't way as of yet.

[Kate Simmons]

Gee Natilie, I think you look great and I know you have a great partner. I know what you are talking about though and you are NOT a redneck in a dress, Dear. You are yourself. I used to worry about this stuff as well but finally decided not to fret about it and just be myself. I'm not talking about giving up, no way but sometimes "acting the part" will come to you naturally if you just let go of thinking about the "I'm a guy" mindset and just feel free to be yourself. There is no "mystery" involved really and that little gal is like the ingredient in the spagetti sauce, "It's in there" and you just have to let her out.
What seemed to help me was when I finally decided to let go and started to dance. That gives you so much freedom that the "moves" and "mannerisms" will come out naturally but you have to let yourself go. I'm not sure how much opportunity you and Nic have to do this but if you do, practice at home and the two of you just dance. I'm talking about either disco, modern country, club or anything that has a beat to it really where you can move around and swing those hips. I love all this kind of music really, which helps.
I also got tips from girls on what to do and how to dance. Move those hips, move those arms. As a result, I got the moves down and guess what? It not only improved my dancing but improved everything else.You may want to practice in flats if you are not sure about heels. I dance in flats most of the time. I now don't even think about the way I act when in Salandra mode. I walk like a girl, I sit like a girl with the hand gestures and everything else. People who have seen me in both modes ask how I can do that and act so differently. My answer to them is that I really don't think about it and that is the God's honest truth. So, my answer is just be yourself, feel free and forget about the preconceived ideas. I guarantee the two of you will have a lot of fun if nothing else. Sal

[Angie G]

Marie has it PRACTICE give it a try
Angie

[Diana West]

There's a hypnotic file that I listen to to increase my feminine mannerisms.
I don't really go intio a trance but the hypnotist really describes som ekeys things like women take up less space then men. It is more of a motivational file than a hypnotic induction for me.

[Dixie]

"All yall's" that's plural right, Joking, anyway, whenever you are out and about watch how the GGs act, then when at home enfemme try to remember and act accordingly. Hope it helps, I have alot of family in the "somewhat south" (Arkansas) so I joke alot about the lingo. It took me years to lose it, but it comes back instantly when I am around southerners.

[sandra-leigh]

Can't tell you how many times we go somewhere and I'll have one ankle over a knee (in jeans though) while Claire has ankles daintily crossed!

I've had jeans wear out at the knees, from sitting cross-legged. I sit with my ankle up on my knee so much that I literally do not feel comfortable sitting with my legs straight. It is literally as if the muscles are the wrong lengths to keep my legs straight -- I have to extend the muscles to straighten the legs, and the relaxed muscle position for me is legs crossed. And legs together with ankles crossed bothers me for some reason which I find hard to articulate -- some reason, that is, beyond having tree-trunk thighs that don't allow my knees to meet without consciously pushing them together (endangering any tucked parts).

I don't think my legs would be very "feminine" even if I shaved them (there isn't a great deal of fur on them as is.) And these thighs are pretty solid, so exercising to lose weight would only tend to firm them up!

[Karren H]

Well your conditioned to act that way and its your fall back position.. Takes lots of practice to act fem... You weren't raised that way so you really have to work at it to stay in fem mode.... Practice.. Practice... Practice... And you'll get there

Love Karren