well then Darling just buy yourself a whip and whenever your cutie acts the least bit butch, snap her with it. you'll be suprised how quickly she will remember to act like a lady.Originally Posted by GACountrygal GG
well then Darling just buy yourself a whip and whenever your cutie acts the least bit butch, snap her with it. you'll be suprised how quickly she will remember to act like a lady.
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Diana West hit one it but did not go with it. Buy some books on self Hypnosis. You and your SO could read them and begin to practice it.
I have been using self Hypnosis for years. Some of the books have a transcript and you fill in the blanks.
I tape recorded what I wanted to hear and replayed using headphones and relaxed. Now....whenever I start puttinng on my make-up the self hypnosis kicks in. My trigger is the make-up. I tell myself I am becoming Audra. After I have completely dressed and ready to go out the door I look in the mirror and tell myself I am "Audra". I am female and will walk, talk, and act female because I am.
Most of this will make sense to you if you read as much as you can about hypnosis. Hopes this helps.
Hugs
Audra
Wow CG,
You were FAST to put the brakes on that one! Sorry, but something about that post just struck me as funny. :-)
Kim
The environment in which we live is not condusive to public outings. And my comfort level, at this point, is only going with SO dressed to CD friendly bars.
(and goin out is just not an option due to other circumstances.)
Nic
I have not seen any posts here regarding video tapes. I know there are some out there that can give pointers. I have not looked into them myself, but may in the future. I am trying to get the look down first. Until then, I find that I just act a bit more subdued and introverted, not that that is a feminine trait. It is more out of nerves than anything, but also helps to keep them guessing.
I guess I look at it like this, to para-phrase a quote, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a boy, then to speak and remove all doubt."
Shannon
No problem at all CG, I didn't mean to imply anything by the comment. No question that there are times and places where it just isn't a good idea. Been there, done that.
Kim
Fortunately you have a supporting SO. I do agree though practice is a key part of being enfemme. I have found that jewelry and colognes and body sprays help with feeling feminine and feeling leads to the acting. I love the smell of a women's cologne and I use a moisturizing body wash.
as for walking in heels like a lady you know the hips and the wiggle thing i spent meny an hour im heels on a treadmill got it down to a tee now also can now where heels for hours and hours
well then Darling just buy yourself a whip and whenever your cutie acts the least bit butch, snap her with it. you'll be suprised how quickly she will remember to act like a lady.
good advice I'll hafta remember that
Nic
Thanks for everyones input, I'm actually amazed at the number of them.
I liked Salandra's idea about dancing, exercise, practices feminity(sp) and works on some dance moves all around good idea.
I also think that being dressed for a longer time might help, but that will prolly take some arranging I'll try to work that out.
I keep pracricing pratcing and practicing and I'll keep doing so til I ge tit "right" or least until I'm happy with it.
Haven't ever even thought of hypnosis, might have to look into that some more?
Wishes I could go out more in Fem, used to do so when we lived in TX, but were we are presently it just inn't an option the only friendly clubs are over an hour away, and society here wouldn't be just less than accepting especially as I am originally from here.
Oh well, guess I keep at wish me luck!
Thanks for everyone's compliment too, I really appreciate them and they make me feel better
Love,
Natalie
It is really unrealistic of you to think that you can put on a dress and act feminine. You have YEARS of male conditioning to get over.
GGs have YEARS of conditioning to help them. Years of mother saying, "Sit up straight!", "Keep your legs together!", "Shoulders back!", "Don't slouch!" I watched my two daughters grow up and go through this. Plus HOURS and HOURS of practice in front of the mirror.
This will all come, but not easily. As ALL have said, practice, practice, practice. There's no easy answer.
Lovies,
Stephie
Dear Natalie,
After reading your last post I have a few sugestions. Since you can't go out dressed, you can do many of these things in drab. You may get a reputation for being a slightly feminine guy, but isn't that what you are after in the long run? You can sit, stand, walk, and gesture in a feminine manner no matter what you are wearing. Make it a point to bring as much of the feminine "out" in your daily life as you possibly can. This will increase your practice time greatly.
After all, you are trying to "explore your feminine side" aren't you?
Lovies,
Stephie
Well I do realize Rome wasn't built in a day, I was looking for any tips or suggestions that might make it a little easier to accomplish, not an overnight transformation. As for being a lot more "fem" in my everyday acts, I don't particularly care to do that. I happen to value my time as my Male self as much as I value my time as my fem self. I want to improve my fem side but not at a detriment to my masucline side. I feel less like its "exploring my fem side" than it is expressing my fem side. All these sides to me, each and everyone has its place and time. At work I'm what I am, A pretty good Diesel equip mechainc who actually cares about doing a good job and taking care of my customers! When I'm at home with Wife and kids I try to be the best Father and Husband that I konw how to be! Etc etc. I just want my fem side to be as good as I can make it also.
Natalie
But Nat sweetie,
You did say you were having trouble expressing your feminine side. I don't want you to be a poorer diesel mechanic or a poorer father, or for that matter a poorer male. Bringing your feminine side "out" in your daily life will only enrich it. I think you can do all the things I mentioned without threatening you mechanical abilities, customer service abilities, or fatherhood skills. Yes, you might get a rep for being a bit of a feminine man. Is that a bad thing? The automatic assumption on society's part that if you are feminine you must be gay (and the associated rabid homophobia that we have all been raised with) may be getting in the way of your becoming the whole person you really are underneath your male facade. Are you gay? Probably not, with a loving wife and children. And what a masculine profession! Diesel mechanic. What more proof do you want? Are you threatened by someone thinking you are gay? Examine your own homophobia then.
Do you envision a life in which you can switch from ultra macho to ultra feminine at the drop of a slip? Or one in which your masculine and feminine lives are more harmoniously blended? Perhaps I misunderstood. My apologies. Personally I have found that it was difficult for me to deal with what you mentioned (expressing my feminine persona) untill I was able to remove those macho aspects of my personality (my uber macho act) from my daily life.
Why are you trying to express the feminine aspects of your personality only in private? Are they so shamefull? Then why express them at all? As long as they remain private and hidden, you will have difficulty bringing them out on a moments notice.
No one likes a "flameing" whatever. Gay, straight, or whatever. Flaming hets are just as offensive as flaming gays. I am not suggesting that you go mincing into work with all your tools painted pink, or that you suddenly insist that your boys take ballet. Just bring more of your feminine "out" in your daily life. If you are secure in your sexuality (and, as I said, I am sure you are, with a wife and children, and your profession), becoming more feminine in your daily life can only enrich it. And also make expressing your feminine persona much easier when you decide to do that, either in private or in public.
I guess I ran on a bit here. Perhaps more than you needed. Sorry. I can get carried away if I'm not carefull. This was all said with good intention. However you choose to live your life is, of course, only your decision, and absolutely none of my business.
Lovies,
Stephenie
Obviously practice, practice, practice is right on the money. One of the things I did when starting out was my "Fashion Show". When I got dressed in each outfit I was trying that day, I would walk back and forth up and down the hallway. I have put a full length mirror at both ends so I can watch the walk and the movement. Do a sort of "Runway Walk, Turn, and Pose" for the camera. Models aren't born knowing how to do this. They practice where they can look at themselves. Why do you think dance studios have mirrors everywhere? You have to see when you are putting your body in the right stance. Eventually your body will be able to "know" when it is in the right positions to look right. I still practice like this alot and it really does help. I go "out" about once a month and have found this to be a great help. If that is not an option right now then just plan a night every so often at home where you dress for 2-3 hours. Have GACountrygal GG watch you and let you know when you start straying toward boy mode again.
Sally
Natalie, It's obvious from reading all of your replies that you just need some confidence. I feel that it's 95% mental and attitude and 5% appearance. I mean you can be the sweetest looking gal on two legs and still come off as a linebacker, so convincing yourself is all important. As a former member of a TG Org., I watched videos on comportment and the stuff they told you to do to "act" like a woman. I said: "Get real" as it certainly wasn't me. I mean walking with a broom? Get the F*** out of here! What I had to do was come up with an inimitable style that worked for me. I just started walking from the hips instead of the shoulders. Then when I started dancing and learning more of the moves, the rest just seemed to fall into place, like the gestures, hand movements and such.It isn't rocket science, really. Pretty soon you don't even have to consciously think about it in femme mode. Another thing you need to consider is the way you talk. I'm not talking about your voice but women talk about things differently than guys do. Just listen to a bunch of gals talking and you will see what I mean. Gals can talk about sports and cars but the way they talk about them is different. I only have my last 6 years of "hands on" experience since I've been officially "out". Hope it helps some. Above all whatever you do or learn, make it a fun experience and Nic will love it too.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Thanks again for the suggestions, I have been trying to be more ladylike in my deportment. I'll keep practicing under watchful eyes and continue to strive for imrovement.
Natalie
Practice, observing, and communication.
I beleive these to be the keys to your situation.
Practice being a girl.
The WALK
The TALK, etc.
Observe
Watch how other girls carry themselves, how their present themselves when talking, shopping, etc.
Be observant of your makeup, and dress. Remember you must LOOK! the part to DO! the part.
Communication
Talking with other girls(whether GG or CD).
Girls talk about girl stuff all the time, get involved in those conversations.
LOL
Tamera
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