Need Advice - wife's panties

[mtnbikercd]

I have been cding for about 10 years. My wife has known about it but does not want to participate. I have tried to talk to her but no luck so far. I occasionally will wear panties to bed and she doesn't complain to much. I have only one pair that are mine and I will wear a couple of pairs of hers. The other night I wore a pair of hers and threw them in the laundry when I was done. When I have done this in the past, she usually comments" That's funny, I don't remember wearing these" and then she proceeds to put them back in her drawer. This time she didn't say anything and put them in MY drawer. OMG!!!

The advice I need is do I take this opportunity to discuss why she put them in my drawer, is she now a little more accepting of my cding, or do I thank her and move on like its no big deal? I want her to be more accepting because when I dress by myself I feel guilty and lonely.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Mtnbikercd

[Wendy me]

first buy your own undies .... she might not be all that thrilled your in her undies ... some people have lines they don't like crossed ... you might tell her that you would like to buy some undies of your own and you will not be in hers any more ..... you might even think abought going out and buying her some new ones and staying out of them .... let her get comfy with small steps .... this might have been a take these undies and leave the rest alone .... and not a green light to race into acpetence.....

[Nikki Dee]

Depends what statement you think she's making by putting them in YOUR drawer.?..I understand your feelings of guilt and loneliness...but you have to be wise and sensitive enough to think how SHE feels when you DO dress...balance is everything love...take it slowly..it's not an easy deal for S.O.'s to get to grips with ...and talk to each other.!. Good luck
Nikki. x

[erickka]

Baby steps are needed here. Some feel violated when the thought of someone else wearing their unmentoinables is thrown upon them. I learned this first hand because I wore a pair of my so's pantyhose and a bra, she said it "just wasn't right" to take her stuff. She even went as far as throwing them out!

[Kieron Andrew]

i think by putting 'her' panties on and then her putting them in your drawer is her saying she doesnt want to wear them again cos you have........a hygiene concept!.......get your own and stick to your own!

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

I think il have to agree !! shes returned them in ur "draw" because she refuses to wear them after you have had them on !! its her way of saying "if youve worn em, i aint putting them on again" !!
As someone has said hun, buy your own, "if" you think you can, apologise to her, and explain that as from now on you will buy your own". see if this leads into a conversation

[Stephenie S]

Oh God yes! Stay OUT of other peoples underwear! This is gross! Ick, ick, ick. Especially if it's a sexual thing (and you know what I mean). Get your own. Look for a sale. They can be cheap at the right time.

And stay out of her clothes too. Take responsibility for yourself. If you want to wear women's clothes get some of your own.

Steph

[mtnbikercd]

Thank you all for your advice. I guess I never looked at her side about me wearing her stuff. I always enjoyed it and never took time to consider how she feels. I will be taking baby steps so I don't screw this up. This may be a step in the right direction in her accepting me.


Thanks again.

Mtnbikercd

[trannie T]

It is not like waiting for an omen from the gods, talk to her. The key to any relationship is communication.

[Mary Morgan]

Go out and buy her some new ones, package them sweetly and put a Thank you note on it. Let her know you appreciate her action. Then buy some for yourself and leave hers alone. See what develops. Let her take the next step.

[like2bvickie]

Yes, Go Get Your Own Panties, She is having a hard enough time
without you in her Panties. Do something nice for her and try to
make her feel like you appreciate her. She may come around WorkAtIt!!!

Vickie

[KimberlyS]

Mtnbikercd, Maybe you just need to ask her why she did it. Is she not your wife. If you can wear her panties you can talk to her about it.

The other posts have given you some more to think about like:

Like GROSS you are wearing your wifes panties. Did she say she would share? Like invasion of person space.

Like get your own. Show some responsibility and leave her things alone unless specifically offered by her. A real man can walk into the lingerie department and by things for his wife, himself, or both. And do it with a smile to keep them guessing.

Get your wife some nice replacement ones wrapped up nice with a thank you note. A night out for dinner to her favorite restaurant may show additional appreciation. Or what ever she enjoys doing.

[kittypw GG]

No she is not more accepting, she is sick of you wearing her underware! When she put them in your drawer she was acknowledgeing that they were no longer hers and does not want to share, hence why she put them in your drawer. She obviously doesn't wear your underware so if they are in your drawer she will no longer be needing them.

Sorry but the fact that you have to ask a question like "is she more accepting"? indicates that you have a problem putting yourself in her shoes and will be the driving force behind her NOT accepting your cd'ing.

When you take and wear her underwear you are taking more than an article of clothing. Get your own and do not cross this boundry again.

Let me tell you a little story. My hubby and I went to a nice store and found a lingerie sale. My hubby expressed that he would like me to buy some sexy panties for myself. We bought some trouser socks, which I said we could share and 5 pairs of panties one was specifically for him. This was on a Sunday and I worked all week. When the weekend came up and I went to my drawer to find my sexy panties there was only one pair in there. He had not only worn the pair we bought for him but 3 of the 4 pairs we got for me before I could even wear them. (they were in the laundry and I didn't put them there) He claims that he thought that I said we could share. Ok let me ask you why did we bother to go looking for undies for just me? He got one pair for himself so what were the other ones for?

He took more than my undies. He took the specialness away from them. He showed me that we did not make an effort to make me feel sexy but to increase his panty selection.

Think about your actions before you act because they speak LOUDER than words. These thoughtless acts build up and become the premise for distaste for crossdressing.
Kitty

[foxy bartender]

i think everyone here has made some really good points... however i just wanted to share something, for what its worth....my gf is extremely supportive & did the same thing as your wife. she let me wear a few pairs of her panties, eventually putting a couple pairs in my drawer for me. that was a few years ago and now we totally share now. i don't really see the problem with wearing her panties, and she has no problem wearing mine. everyone seems grossed out by sharing panties with the person that you love, but i don't get that. if you can make love to a person you can certainly share their panties. just go out and buy a bunch of nice panties for her and a bunch for yourself. let her know that you bought them for yourself so that you stop wearing hers, but that if she wants to share or hasn't gotten to the wash and needs a clean pair, she is more than welcome to help herself to yours.... this has really helped my gf to accept me and support me..maybe we aren't typical, but i thought you might like another POV

[Tina Dixon]

You got a opening there looking you right in the eye, ask her about the panties and maybe it is time to buy your own.

[stephi]

Found out that if you buy your own or get her to buy them then you are not invading her space so to speak. Alos never try and wear her clothes as these are what make a woman an individual

LOL

Stephi

[donna h]

Have to agree, buy your own as you are invading her territory.I think putting them in your drawer was a message she wont wear those anymore.

[annekathleen]

I agree with most of the responses that you have received.
She probably doesn't want you to wear her panties, so once you did, she doesn't want them anymore. So, since you wore them, they are yours!
I just wouldn't continue the same practice, because eventually, she's going to buy a special or expensive panty, you're going to wear it, and she is going to be upset. I used to buy a lot for the wife, and keep a few for myself. Maybe, if you bought alot of panties over a period of time, it would be harder for her to keep track of what's in her drawers, and what's in the laundry basket, or else, you can do the laundry when she's not around.

[Carin]

Wearing your SO's panties (clothes, jewellry, makeup etc) is a breach of respect for boundaries big time, unless of course she openly offers to share them.

Regardless of whether she is just tolerant or totally into it, it is still your crossdressing. And your crossdressing is taking her femimine stuff. Talk about being on the wrond end of crossdressing!!

So you asked for advice on how to talk to her about putting the panties in her drawer. Humbly apologise to her for taking her stuff without asking, and give her a VS gift. cert. so she can replace them.

Then go buy half a dozen of your own panties for god sake. Its not that hard.

[Rachel_CDS]

My problem is slightly different. My partner takes my panties when she runs out. But I do have a much bigger collection of gorgeous underwear than her!
I don't really mind except when it is my favourite pairs that she takes!

[AllieSF]

Boundaries are established differently for most cases. You just need to understand where yours and hers are. I agree with you getting your own stock, so you avoid overstepping her limits, if she has some. Only you and she can determine that. If I understand correctly from your post you have already worn her panties before for sleeping. The best way to define the boundaries is to have a good conversation with her. You don't need to cover all aspects of dressing, just the panty subject and if she would object if you established your own stock of panties and other items. Good luck.

[az_azeel]

I think everyone has covered this topic well... Reading your post I think if she knows you wear her panties... and she hasnt said anything but put them in your drawer then maybe she is becomming a bit more accepting.. Certainly if no comment was made then I would take that as a sign for talking to her....

Take care

i hope everything works out

az_azeel

[Dragster]

There's another side to this coin. My wife says she's disgusted with the whole CD subject. I think she's coming round to realising that it's a part of me, but I doubt she'll ever accept it. She's paranoid of anyone else finding out about me, saying we'll have to move away if it happens. She's not happy for me to shop anywhere within 100 miles, in case I'm recognised, and mail order is out (though I'd smuggled in many items since I retired before she did), in case stuff gets delivered to a neighbour in error, or packaging gets damaged and the postman ses the contents. Last time we talked (uneasily) about this, she said there were plenty of her clothes that I could wear, "if I must", but I really feel I want my own things because her taste has become more conservative and is no longer sexy enough for me. Her skirts fit reasonably (when I wear my corset), but she's a 36B and I should be 40C or D, so tops and jackets don't fit well, and her dresses, particularly the fitted ones, don't zip up.

I was surprised she'd have no problems with me wearing her things, but then there is another motivation for her. And there is a special excitement for me, wearing something that belongs to, and is normally worn by someone I love dearly. I addition to the sexual excitement, I feel a little closer to her when I wear her clothes. Does anyone else feel that?

Tony