After getting out, taking the big step in daylight --- not caring what people I never met and will never see again will say or think...
does this carry over to, if I will never see them again...can I ask them?
For example, you see a woman in the parking lot of a large mall, you wave her over and ask, 'do I pass as a woman?'
Or you intentionaly seek out a pack of teenaged girls to see what they say?
Anyone had the nerve to try this?
I let all the whistles and car honks that I receive do the talking if I pass.&
Trina - Dangerous When Dressed
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
hi sally you don't have to ask a pack of teenaged girls to see what they say?
trust me they can read you from a 100 yards away they have that radar thing going on and they will folow you around everywear and why should you want to ask ?
if you get " the look" then you have been read and don't pass
i think you look very good in your avatar to me you pass
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Thanks! Maybe its just a self improvement thought... grab the bull by the horns and take the upper hand assuming they are going to charge at you anyway. Maybe the pack of teenagers is a bit exagerated...I guess.
Are my number 1 worry, when I see a group of them walking towards me I turn and walk away - FAST !. They can be so mean and hateful.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
No need I know I don't
Angie
When all the villagers were carrying torches and surrounded my house I took it as a sign that I don't pass.
It takes a real man to wear a dress.
Hi Sally,
Don't worry about it, hun. With your gorgeous looks you'll pass 110%!!!
Luv,
Diane
XX
Not really Hon. I don't particularly care about it anyway. Most people don't care one way or the other, except for the occassional "Dodo" who usually has an issue with most other people no matter who they are.
If ya gotta ask if ya pass .....you don't pass!
Teenager girls are always the ones that seem to spot me for the most part when at a mall or someplace public.
But to be serious we have a very small handful of Tgirls in Atlanta that do pass. The secret is that they are on hormones, have had laser to remove facial hair, diet like crazy for that thin look and they don't wear wigs. The rest of us just gotta go for the blend in look!
During my first trip into a Dress Barn, I asked the SA if I looked OK (while she was helping me). Her reply was something like "You look fine."
Later, when I called her on the phone to thank her for making me feel comfortable, she commented that she did not think any of the other customers even noticed that I was not a woman.
I think it has a lot to do with attitude (not appearing too nervous, smiling, standing up straight, not hurrying... all things that we learn during our "guy training").
Rebecca
Never felt the need to ask....I prefer to "believe" I do..whether that's true or not.!!.LOL
Very interesting comments. Mostly try to avoid the pain and that's okay. Rebecca-L's is more what I was thinking about when I asked. Its not so much that we pass or not (probably we don't many times and want to avoid being singled out). I was thinking more about when you think you -are- passing did you ever ask that person? Then wait for their reaction.
I get a lot of guys honking their horns at me. I guess that is their sign of approval.
Nope, never did.... and don't really care what they think.... Got a right to wear what I want where I want and as long as no one gets overly upset or aggressive.... I'm happy
Karren
That's like asking "does this make me look fat"? Even if it does, you can't tell her that. If you ask another TG, it will be a very rare person indeed that would tell you "Sorry hun, but no". Most are going to smile, pat you on the head, and say "Sure, your passable".
As for stopping someone on the street, I couldn't imagine why I would want to do that.
Kim
I don't really care what the lady across the parking or the pack of teenage girls, or anyone else thinks of my passability. I'm just not willing to surrender my happiness to someone else's control... and becoming dependent on some strangers acceptance does just that. Sally, you're a lovely young lady but I don't have to tell you that... you already know that in your heart.
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
Originally Posted by TxKimberly
I agree with Kim's comment. In my case, I asked because I wanted to make sure I did not look outrageous. The SA seemed like the type of person who would provide some kind of feedback (I know, every customer looks great, but I needed to get my confidence up). It helped make me feel better that she did not have a negative reaction.
Rebecca
Knowing I would not pass,(yet) but also admiring girls who do pass , I would suggest not asking but instead just be yourself.
The girls I have run into often look very feminine, the only distraction is that they are dressed in the top 10% of the women in the store.
Yesterday I did a mini poll to see where I would fit if I dressed as I wished - skirt, boots, blouse, jewellry, and how the rest of the women were dressed. Of the 30 women in the grocery store, just two were in heels, and skirts. And they did look very cute. too, even the slightly pregnant one. The rest were primarily in jeans and some type of sneaker.
I'm not trying to be a wet blanket, but to ask a total stranger is asking to out yourself. I know that there have been times when I have been out enfemme and got read by everyone that got within 10 feet of me.(traffic lanes are very close here) Other times I have gotten honks, whistles, the "hey sugar", and a couple other comments.
I've got to be me and that's all there is to it. I guess, "sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't.
If the clothes make the man then the makeup makes the woman.
When you look in the mirror after doing the best you have done and you like what you see then go for it. These days other people have much more on their minds than hmmmmmm is she passable. The only thing holding "us" back from entering the real world is ourselves. So we're all passable
Other t-girls used to tell me I easily passed, so I'd get overconfident and sometimes embarrassed myself.
Nowadays, I get too many looks when out to do it anymore.
Mitzi
Most of my bad experiences have been with groups of teenage girls. Not sure why they seem so spiteful...Are my number 1 worry, when I see a group of them walking towards me I turn and walk away - FAST !. They can be so mean and hateful.
What Rebecca has written here "hits the nail on the head" for me. Although there are obvious visual basics that have to be achieved, it's attitude, the way you carry yourself, and how you are thinking about it all that will carry you through.
For me personally, of all the times, in all the places that I have ever been, only twice did someone indicate to me that they read me. In reality though, of course I'll never know as people are far too polite. I'm think I get read quite often, it's just that they never tell me, so I'm blissfully unaware ...... except for one time recently in a restaurant. I was having dinner with my wife and one of our friends and when the waiter took our orders he said to me "and what can I get you sir?" Ooops!!
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The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
About 25 years ago I went through a phase where I did just that. Keep in mind, 25 years ago I was totally ignorant and uninformed on the subject of crossdressing or any other cross-gender expression. Those of you who've come along since just can't imagine what it was like then. I doubt that I even had heard the term "crossdresser" before.
25 years ago I was 5'9-1/2", 125 pounds, hair down to the middle of my back, long fingernails. After I got married and moved away from home I became quite comfortable going out as a girl. As far as I knew, no one ever knew I wasn't a girl, unti that fateful day...
I meticulously prepared. Rolled my hair, carefully did my makeup, wore one of my wife's best skirt suits and matching heels. I headed out to the mall only a few miles from my house. Stoopped by McDonalds on the way, and that's where it happened. For the first time, I knew I'd been read! It scared me to death! I didn't go to the mall that day. I went home. I wondered if I'd ever dress again! I couldn't imagine what gave me away. I had to find out.
I started deliberately outing myself to find out how well I had passed. I used as many variations on this theme as there were opportunities, but typically I'd approach a sales associate or clerk after they'd had a good chance to see me for a while, and then in my normal male voice, place my order or ask a question. I'd gauge their reaction and then say something like, " I bet you don't get many guys in here dressed like this!" On a few occasions I'd try my best to pass, say, at a convenience store, and then days later go in as a male and make a comment like, " Last time I was in here there was a guy dressed as a woman. Does that happen very often around here?" It was very interesting to hear some of those descriptions of me!" Even better were those that said, "No, I've never seen that."
Haven't really done that since, but at the time it was the only way to get feedback and even constructive criticism. We've come a long way!
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