Why? (are so many of us so focused on going out)

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Well, Cathy...
For me I feel like by cross-dressing and going out, I am expressing a part of myself that I can't express otherwise. I have yet to go public enfemme, but today was the first day in which I could safely leave the room (and house) enfemme and it felt wonderful!
I have been a closet cross-dresser since I was around...well - 7 or 8 I think, and my feminine side has been a part of me that I was never given the chance to examine. So, for years I was happy being in the closet. I dressed when I felt like it in private, and went back into male-mode when the desire left me.
Eventually, my desire to dress pretty much faded and vanished. I think it was still there, but I was trying to sort out so many other things in my life at the time that it went into a pupal state - like into a cacoon, you know?

Well, within the last several months I've re-emerged from my cacoon and I found that in my hiatus from cross-dressing, my desires changed. My dressing was something I no longer wanted to keep in the closet. I wanted to take it out and let it taste the air of a spring breeze for once, so to speak.

I also found that there were some parts deep inside of me that were happy as a woman - maybe happier. And if not happier, then parts that were inaccessible to me as a man and that I could only reach by cross-dressing. So by dressing, and by going out - which to me is the epitomy of self expression as a cross-dresser - I am fully accepting of my female half, myself as Natasha, as a woman, and as a whole self in general.

I hope that helps some, Cathy...
Don't think that there's anything wrong with being in the closet, though. Everyone dresses for different reasons and to meet different needs. I need to be able to dress - and go out - to fully express my feminity. You may dress for a different reason, and like you said, going out is something you do not desire. Just enjoy your dressing for what it is - a part of you!

[Blonde]

Myself, I would like the true freedom to be able to go out dressed either way I feel like that day.

As for trying to "pass" enfemm, to me (and I bet others) is part of the "dressing", and to also "avoid" any unplesant encounters (a "guy in a dress" can cause lots of problems if you meet the wrong people, even more than a GG in that same situation).

[Ruth]

Going out and meeting the general public is a different CD experience from doing it in private. I've only done it once, I may do again, it's not top of my 'to do' list. I'm not urging you to do it, but you won't know what all the fuss is about unless you do it.

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"]The nails go on the last thing and I'm out the door, almost never stay home and just dress any more. I have become a part of the community out to dinner the clubs with friends, others recognize me; they know me as Kristen not as Ted. It's not about passing, but I do not get pegged, as often, at times I feel invisible. [/SIZE]

[Stephenie S]

I do not obsess over "going out". But . . . I have to. I have to go out. I have to shop, and buy gas, and go to the dentist, and the post office, and all the other places that I have to go to live my life. And this is the way I want to dress. So for me, it's not so much wanting to "go out", as it is just wanting to live my life as I want it. Do I get some funny looks? Sometimes. But I try and look as good as I can. And I find that most people just don't care. My wife says, "Oh, you look very pretty, for a guy!". Huh? Is that a compliment?

Well, I'll take any that I can get.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[trannie T]

I don't pass. I wish I could but it is not to be. I still go out and thoroughly enjoy it. If you do not wish to go out that is fine, we have the freedom to hit the streets or stay in the closet. It is your choice and your choice alone.

[Phoebe Reece]

When I was just 4 years old, I put on a floppy woman's hat, a dress, stockings, women's shoes (that were way too big) and headed out the door. I walked down the sidewalk and spent some time talking to some people at the bus stop before being called back in. The first time I dressed completely with full makeup, wig, etc. was for Mardi Gras in New Orleans in 1971. I spent that day out on the street with thousands of people around me. If I knew why I did that then, I might have a better understanding of what drives me to go out in public now.

I can guess at a some motivations though. One current reason is that for quite a few years I lived and worked in a place where going out of the house dressed femme simply was simply not an option if I wanted to keep working there. All that time of "all dressed up and no place to go" wore heavily on me, especially since I had experience in going out before that period in my life.

Another factor is that for me it has been a way of facing my fears. Pushing myself a little beyond my current comfort zone helps me to face up to other difficult situations in life.

[TxKimberly]

Because going through the kind of effort it takes to look like a woman, I just can't see sitting in the house being bored outta my mind. Like Karen says "it should be fun"!

Kim

[Satrana]

Those that wear more feminine items, dress more often, go out, and general have a greater self acceptance tend to be the more vocal ones on this and other forums. IMHO and others also, there is a greater number of CDers that wear fewer feminine items, dress less often, do not want to go out, that tend to be less vocal for what ever their reasons are.

I agree with your summary, it seems to me the majority of crossdressers are not trying to pass or emulate women but just want to express aspects of femininity which interest them. This silent majority though are more likely to keep this to themselves and not tell their SOs or go out in public, it is a private affair only. However the most vocal group here are those who do go out in public to pass and report their social interactions. The perception is that this is something which all crossdressers do or want to do, but I don't think this is correct.

Another misperpection I have observed from ggs among others is that the passing experience is about excitement and danger. Certainly the first times in public are nervewracking and you are pumped up with adrenaline, but once you have done this a couple of dozen times the nerves and buzz quickly dissipates and the passing experience becomes another statement of self-expression and acceptance.

The passing experience can be fun for other reasons not directly linked to crossdressing. It is fun to become someone else, to escape your responsibilities and discover new ways to view the world. Lots of people dress up in all sorts of costumes to have a holiday away from themselves, and passing as a woman has the same qualities.

[Michelle_S]

That's a good question Cathy, and well timed for me. I went out in a real public place for the first time today. I went to the mall and to the MAC counter to get some new and better quality makeup. It was both terrifying and exciting, but went very well, nothing bad happened, and it was a tremendous boost of confidence for me. I don't think it's an ultimate goal for most of us to go out, but it's part of the experience of embracing our femininity, finding pride in ourselves, and showing the world we're not afraid of what's out there. At least for me those are a few good reasons. I completely believe in free will and everyone should do what feels right to them, whether it's dressing privately or going out. Myself, I do want to go out more, to be able to shop en femme, and enjoy being Michelle however feels best at the time. Just my two cents....

-Michelle

[Fab Karen]

It's about expressing the true you. For some, being male is fine and a bit of closet dressing is satisfactory.

Others it is about expressing a femininity and that means expressing it in public. We want to be seen as our feminine selves, not just a guy in a dress hence the wanting to pass. I have been out and did not receive any double takes or rude comments, in fact everyone either takes no notice or are polite. In fact I had more converstations with strangers as Gina than I do as my male self, and those conversations were pleasant. So I either passed or was just perceived as a nice person doing something I want to do without worrying what others think.

For another group again they are women just with male bodies and so to go out and pass is to be a person in normal society. They don't want to be seen as having been male, just want to be the woman they are.

Hope this answers your question. If I have said something that anyone disagrees with feel free to put me right!

Gina xx

That was very well put. And whether in boy-mode or girl-mode, I try to remember, what others think of me isn't worth worrying about.

K.

[tanya3]

i have only been out a few times and felt such a rush from it i can't wait to go out the next time , as kimberly said why spend all that time getting dressed w/ make up and all and waste it looking at myself .i happen to have a pretty nice shape and want to show off and besides it's fun !!!!!!!!!

[Angie G]

I can't pass pass soI don't go out dressed thoughI'd love to just go around in a skirt anf heels in public
Angie

[MarinaTwelve200]

Why are so many of us so focussed on going out and passing? I've been in the closet all my life (and it's a long one so far) and the only person I have to please is myself when I look into the mirror or take some photos. I dress as often as is comfortable in my SO situation (she doesn't know but suspects).

I don't have any desire to go out en-femme nor do I ever intend to quit or purge again. I just feel great when dressed and am soooo relaxed!

Let me know how you feel.

LOVE

I feel exactly the same way. I feel NO need to go out as I concider my CDing as a personal "private" thing I do.

As I observe that there are several types of CDers (Escapists, fem-siders, taboo trippers, etc.) I would think that certian types such as the fem-siders (who feel their "REAL self is female) are more prone to want to go out --to fulfill a "need" us other types may not have.---And not us not forget a thrill seeking uige or a touch of exhibitionisim that might be more of an individual personal trait,

[BlUeDrAgOn]

Well, first of all I'm very shy dressed as a man, so I'd be even more dressed as a lady. Secondly, I like to dress for myself, not for other people. I'm not saying I wouldn't like to do it (I'd love to have the courage), but I don't believe Il ever will. Maybe if I had a group of people like us, but there are none in these parts (I live in a small town...).

[sami1952]

Crossdressing is who i am and have been this way since i was around 12 and when i dress i like to be able to go out in pulbic and and blend in with other people,so passing is a must for me,if i am going to dress like a women i lke to look and pass as a women.

[Dixie]

I like to go out because the first time I did was such a rush, and the second time even more so, So I guess it's because I like the attention.

[Cathy J]

Thanks for all your wonderful and thoughtful responses to my question. I've so much to read over and think about. It's because of this type of interaction that has made me so proud and happy to be a member of this forum. I was quite lost before I discovered this wonderful place.

I might have to re-assess my feelings about going out and trying to pass. I have to agree with so many that it must be part of the "fun" of cd'ing and being en-femme is the most fun I have at any time. Especial thanks to Karren Hutton for her short but right on comment.

I love you all,

[Roxi Loh]

Having been out one time in my whole life (last week), I can tell you the exhilarating feeling from hitting that door for the first time. Mine was in the daylight and included dinner at kind of shopping center restaurant. It was a true rush walking past people and imagining what they thought...even though I didn't ultimately care. Then there was the feeling of belonging to a group of sisters with similar tastes. In short it was just fun. Can't wait to do it again.

[Sally2005]

Just to add, I agree with Kim, Karen and Roxi's comments. All that effort needs to be put to use. I also think it is the challenge and the enjoyment of the experience.

[Lisa Maren]

I want to go out en femme because I don't want to have to be lonely (meaning totally alone) to be myself. I want to feel like I'm being real to people.

I will admit, though, that I suspect I will find it something of a rush when I do that for the first time (sometime not on Halloween, anyway).

Hugs,
Lisa

[Rikkicn]

Some of us simply want to be "seen" and recognized in the world as we feel ours selves to be.
Some of Don't have this need or desire. Some of us do.

[Toyah]

I really dont and have done

[angela2112]

gives me a buzz.....fear of getting caught.....happy times really all in all

[windycissy]

Because going through the kind of effort it takes to look like a woman, I just can't see sitting in the house being bored outta my mind. Like Karen says "it should be fun"!

Kim

Kim sums it up beautifully....passing as a woman is SO MUCH FUN! It's enabled me to meet some wonderful girls from this forum, how I treasure those moments.

Why do I go out? Because I can!