Enfemme as a man

[jjjjohanne]

I went out today in a men's polo top, ladies black shorts, black 1" heels (rather androgenous looking shoes) and taupe pantyhose. I have worn something similar in public before a couple times, and I was quite afraid to be seen. However, I wore the outfit once to my barber. I thought she noticed the (I think) rather obvious hose that time.

Well, I tried it again. I went to my barber first. She either saw my hosed legs and was polite, or she never noticed... I never saw any indication that she saw my outfit as being anything other than normal. I asked her before I left if my outfit looked OK or if it was tacky. She said I looked good and that I was "tall and thin and a good looking man." So, I don't know if it wasn't that obvious or what.

Next, I went to the mall. I went into a big anchor store. I was confident. I went down the wide, main, center aisles. No one seemed to pay me any attention. I spoke to a couple store employees about items in the store. When talking to the lady in the hosiery section, I said I was looking for something prettier than what I had on. I later asked her if she noticed my outfit before I pointed it out to her and she said no. I'm pretty sure that the second clerk that I spoke to in that store never had a clue.

I proceeded to walk into the main mall area. I was looking for a specific store. I noticed people glancing at my legs/feet, but not many. I stopped in a couple stores on my way to my target. I was functioning as confidently and normally as I could. I was just running errands. When I got to my target store, I spoke with the sales man for 10 minutes about the expensive item I am considering buying. He acted like he noticed nothing unusual.

I stopped for lunch. The girl who gave me my food looked down at my lower half as I walked toward the counter. Then she looked at my face. Then she went back to working and paid me no further attention. Avoiding the crowd, I was eating an early lunch. No one was in the restaurant the whole time I was there.

I walked the complete mall with several people looking at my lower half, but no negative reactions from anyone. One woman, a customer at a shoe store, looked me up and down as I was walking in and she made eye contact with me and I smiled and said hi. She gave me a very friendly (and pretty) smile and said hi back to me. She paid me no further attention even though I was not that far away from her.

What self respecting CD would have a day out and not try on clothes if they could?? I went to a friendly store (I haven't found many which are not friendly,) and started shopping around. I found some capris and a top I wanted to try on. I asked If I could use a dressing room and the lady let me into one. I tried on the outfit and stepped out of the dressing room to look at myself in the three way mirror to see myself in each item. No one paid me any attention. The clerk came back to see how I was doing when I was finishing up. I asked her if I could try on a dress. I wasn't sure if I had enough nerve to stand out in front of the mirror in a dress, but I still wanted to see what they had. She showed me a black dress that I decided to try. We went back to the dressing room. I put on the dress. I stepped out to take a look. The clerk was coming into the dressing area with another customer who must have seen me in the dress. She didn't seem to pay me any attention. I stepped out and examined myself. Then I asked the clerk if I could walk out into the main part of the store. She said "Sure!" I walked out, into a small store with 5-8 customers in it, and browsed around. No one ever looked my way. It was wonderful feeling the swish of my hosed legs against each other while I walked around in a dress in public and not on Halloween! I asked her if she had anything I could wear to cover my unshaven chest. She walked me to some lacy frenged tops. She selected one in my size and we walked back toward the dressing rooms. Me, still in a pretty black dress that came just below my knees. I started noticing that the dress was too big for me in the backside. I tried on the top with the dress and came back out. I walked around the store again. This time, when I walked to the front edge of the store (I was among the racks) as I turned around, I realized a couple (man and woman) were walking out of the store and they were both looking over at me. I smiled and nodded hello. They just kept on walking. No mean looks or anything, just "shock and awe." I walked back over to the dressing area, not wanting to take off the dress. Two other female customers who had been talking a lot realized something uncommon was going on. They stopped talking and looked my way as the clerk spoke to me about the top I had on under the dress. If they saw anything, it was from the shoulders up. It wasn't hard to realize I was a CD, it was a women's only clothing store! I changed back into my clothes, made my purchase and headed home.

It was a wonderful and comfortable day out and about. People are mostly blind.

Joe

[myMichelle]

I love it. Keep up the good work, Joe! We've talked before, so you know that I agree with you concerning people being oblivious to things around them. I know there are some among us who would not consider what you did "true" crossdressing. But, I say that as long as you are/were comfortable, then you not only crossdressed, but you passed wonderfully, too! Way to go.

[TV Wannabe]

Good for you hon, keep shopping.

[jjjjohanne]

Thanks! If what I was doing was not "crossdressing," then we need a term for guys who wear girls clothing!

Joe

[Dixie]

You go Gurl!

[Vicky_Scot]

I really think that this post goes to show that the majority of people are too busy going about their own daily business to notice anything else.

[Butterfly Bill]

What you did is basically what I did in my earlier years, gradually adding more and more fem items to my outfit which had started out as all male. I never burst out totally en femme for the first time. I spent ten years going from knit pants all the way to dresses.

[Lisa Marie]

Wow I wish I had guts like that. I would be afraid Id run into someone I know like a relative.

[jjjjohanne]

Angie,
I was between 30 minutes - 1 hour from home. So, I was safe from seeing most people I know. Second, I was out and about during the work day, and most of my peers here are 8-5 workers.

Joe

[Stephenie S]

Joe, it's not that people are blind, it's that they don't care. And you do see some people in some pretty rediculous outfits sometimes. Does it bother you when you do? Of course not. It doesn't bother anyone else either. People are seeing you. They just don't care. Smile and act confident and you can go where you want, wearing whatever you want. A smile goes a long way.

Big concept here, people. Listen up! Most people in this world just don't give one flying patootie what you choose to wear. People will see you. They may stare or smirk. But very few will care a fig. Look the best you can and people will accept that you have some pride in your apearance. Smile and act confident, and they will know you belong where ever you are. Furtive looks around and guilty behavior only get you suspicion.

Steph

[SabrinaDubh]

Joe, it's not that people are blind, it's that they don't care. And you do see some people in some pretty rediculous outfits sometimes. Does it bother you when you do? Of course not. It doesn't bother anyone else either. People are seeing you. They just don't care. Smile and act confident and you can go where you want, wearing whatever you want. A smile goes a long way.

Big concept here, people. Listen up! Most people in this world just don't give one flying patootie what you choose to wear. People will see you. They may stare or smirk. But very few will care a fig. Look the best you can and people will accept that you have some pride in your apearance. Smile and act confident, and they will know you belong where ever you are. Furtive looks around and guilty behavior only get you suspicion.

Steph

So very true! As paranoid as some of us are, the reality is that no one out there gives a rats ass what you or I are wearing. Honestly, to garner the behaviour that we all think will happen (pointing, laughing, staring) one would have to walk through the mall in a giant Mickey Mouse costume. Most people are so busy and wrapped up in their own lives they don't have time or energy to notice the tranny in the mall.

I've been out and about for years (though not much lately) and one of the first things I learned was that no one cared about me or what I was wearing. Just wear what you want and get out there. It really is easier than it seems!

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

People do care sometimes but it's really none of there business what you wear and how you wear it. I go out all the time and get comments and stares but I really don't sweat the small stuff. Have fun with it and thats all that matters.

[SabrinaDubh]

People do care sometimes but it's really none of there business what you wear and how you wear it. I go out all the time and get comments and stares but I really don't sweat the small stuff. Have fun with it and thats all that matters.

I think living in the Los Angeles area has a bit to do with the non-reaction I get. About the only place I would be even more passe would be New York or San Francisco! "Oh look... yet ANOTHER cross-dresser.." I do sometimes forget that in other parts of the country people are not so used to seeing trans people out and about.

But like you said, don't sweat the small stuff and get out and have fun. That's what it's about after all!
And after reading this thread I think I might just go do that.

[myMichelle]

Big concept here, people. Listen up! Most people in this world just don't give one flying patootie what you choose to wear. People will see you. They may stare or smirk. But very few will care a fig. Look the best you can and people will accept that you have some pride in your apearance. Smile and act confident, and they will know you belong where ever you are. Furtive looks around and guilty behavior only get you suspicion.

Steph

Truer words were never spoken! Well said, sister!

[Katrina]

Joe, what a great story! I'm curious as to where you went though. I think the term for what you do is "Fashion Freestyling". Its mixing guy and girl stuff without trying to pass as a woman at all. Its something that I've been experimenting with recently. Next step for me is "Street Heeling" - wearing mostly guy stuff, but high heels of some sort.

[Rachel Morley]

Way to go Joe!

I often dress as a feminized male openly wearing women's clothes in guy mode, although I never wear hose and shorts in boy mode. I have shaved and (fake) tanned legs instead in the summer. I do wear women's tennis shoes, women's jeans, t-shirts, and feminine cardigans in boy mode. I do get people who look me up and down (I can tell by their eye movement) and "knowing smiles" from GG cashiers sometimes, but for the most part people generally ignore me and no one has ever said anything to me. I don't think that they don't notice, as I'm sure they do, IMHO it's that they either don't care, or they do care but are too polite to say anything.

Dressing like this was a little bit of a challenge in the beginning as I felt a bit shy about being seen as a guy wearing girl clothes, but once you get past that it's wonderful feeling of freedom and self expression that I like.

[Eric/a]

I have shaved and (fake) tanned legs instead in the summer.

Rachel, by any chance do you use the Sally Hansen spray called "Airbrush Legs?" I've seen that in the cosmetic aisles of grocery stores. They usually have it in several shades, and the one I'm tempted to try is called "Tan Glow." If you or anyone else reading it has ever tried it, let me know if it's any good. As much as we already have to mess with make-up, nail polish, etc., I'm not in a big hurry to have something else to wash off or take off unless I'm pretty sure it works!

Yesterday, I did a little of what jjjjohanne was talking about, wearing fem shoes but otherwise being in guy mode. In my case, it was a polo shirt or something close, ladies' split-side running shorts, and wedge sandals like the one in the pic. I didn't have on hose, but I'd just shaved my legs the night before, and painted my toenails one of those sparkling/glittering red colors I'd found. Even if it weren't for all that, there'd be no question about the sandals obviously being women's to anyone looking, but it seemed hardly anybody did - or let on, anyway! Then again, this was in two grocery stores in a section of town that's mostly Orientals and Hispanics, so even if people noticed, I wouldn't know what they said! Still, I don't think anybody really goes out of their way to look and see what kind of shoes a guy has on, because they're not usually going to be worth noticing.

The only "incident" I had, if you can call it that, was at a Payless store where I stopped on the way home. I went to the women's aisles to see if they had a style I was looking for, either in a 12 wide or a 13, which they didn't, so I left. As soon as I got out the door, the sales lady came outside and asked me if the shoes I had on were mine. (They're a current style Payless sells.) I told here yes, they're a size 13, which they didn't have there. Some Payless stores have a section in that size, but this one didn't. She went back inside and, as far as I know, that was the end of it. Maybe she asked if anyone had noticed if I'd come in the store wearing those. All I know is, if they hadn't noticed what I had on before, I'm sure they did then!

In case anybody DOES say something, asks why you're wearing them, etc., it always helps to have a few "on the fly" answers. "Just breakin' 'em in" is always one, and usually it's the truth! I've got many that I've hardly ever worn. "Just for fun" is another, depending on who's asking. "They looked like they'd go with this outfit" is always a contender. Basically anything that puts them on the spot as to what's their point in asking is usually best.

Anyway, if anyone has tried that "Airbrush Legs" spray, or any other you think is better, let me know. Maybe I'll add that for my next outing, whether it's drag or drab!

[Rachel Morley]

Rachel, by any chance do you use the Sally Hansen spray called "Airbrush Legs?"

No, I'm sorry I don't know that one. At the moment I'm not using anything because it's not quite warm enough for me yet. However in the next couple of weeks it's going to start warming up around here that's for sure. I was using just a basic fake tan. It was Coppertone endless summer sunless tanning lotion. It's not too bad but you do have to be careful about exfoliating and moisturizing first, plus your application has to be even. Once on though, as far as I am concerned anyway, it looks pretty good and last a long time.

I'm thinking of trying AVEENO® CONTINUOUS RADIANCE® Moisturizing Lotion next.

[sandra-leigh]

by any chance do you use the Sally Hansen spray called "Airbrush Legs?"

I briefly tried one of the spray-on pantyhose ("terracotta" colour), but I don't recall the brand (I would recognize it if I saw it.) If I recall correctly, the box indicated it was a spray-on teflon or something similar -- it was supposed to be waterproof.

I didn't like the effect; it didn't go on at all evenly, looked bad to me, smelled bad to me, and made a bit of a mess (good thing I did it in the bathtub.) I would not try that brand again.

Note: the particular brand I tried was not intended as a "tanning" solution: it was intended to look like pantyhose, but to be runless.

[deniseann]

To echo what Stephanie and Rachel said...

What I have found is that while going out dressed, most people don't notice. The ones who do notice, most of them don't say anthing. The ones who do say something are usually polite or curious. I have never had one cruel word in the ten years that I have been braving going out.

[kay2]

Thanks! If what I was doing was not "crossdressing," then we need a term for guys who wear girls clothing!
Joe

Some use the term "Fashion Freedom" (FF). I like that term, because it covers all bases, and makes no judgement about gender associated with certain clothing.