California Dreamin'

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Finally getting a chance to get caught up...

Attended the California Dreamin' conference in San Jose last weekend. It's funny, when I first started going out in public two years ago I was really looking forward to attending a transgender conference. For a number of closeted trans people, these sorts of conferences are the only time they get to spend an extended amount of time as their desired gender. But since I go out in public pretty regularly, that alone wasn't very motivating. Plus the seminars were heavily weighted toward those on the transition track. As it turned out, the sessions on GRS were packed, so obviously they were crowd pleasers, but on the whole, I was having trouble finding a full day of sessions that I was interested in attending. So I wasn't that enthusiastic, but since I know the organizer, there was a bit of feeling obligated to make an appearance. It didn't help that my friends Marla and Rachel, who I was supposed to have dinner with, ended up having to cancel at the last minute.

But nonetheless I got up at 6 a.m. to start getting ready. (Note to organizers of trans conferences: starting a 9 a.m. is a wee bit early for us poor crossdressers, who take longer to get ready.) I was already running behind, when my landscaper contractor dropped by to look at a bit of the yard where I want some work done. Then just as he was leaving, the gardeners came a half-hour early. Grrr.... I'm at a point where I don't necessarily care if people find out about my crossdressing, but I just wasn't ready to deal with coming out on a Saturday morning, so I had to lay low inside the house for a half hour.

Unfortunately that mean I missed the first session of the day, which was about choosing and caring for your wig. I caught a little bit of the Q&A, which made me even more irritated since it seemed it had some good info. But my mood got better when I found out about a last-minute addition of a session on how to take good photos, put on by Eve Rios (from Adam to Eve) and photographer Randal Smith. The two also were offering a mini-shoot in the vendor area -- a great deal at the price. Looking forward to some of the shots Randal took.

In the afternoon Denae Doyle put on a great session about "Sensual Moves." (Doyle is a "femininity coach" who works with both beauty pageant contestants as well as transwoman and crossdressers.) Apparently Doyle has wanted to do this topic for awhile -- although it apparently freaks out gender therapists because it involves learning how to move and dance "sexy." Doyle did point out there's a time and place for it. To paraphrase "Spiderman": with great power comes great responsibility. The interesting thing to me was that she was teaching people how to dance with the sort "talking with your hands" hand movements that I've always had to rein in while dancing en homme.

At the end of the session, Doyle mentioned that she could do a private session -- and since I'd been wanting to meet with her for ages, I leapt at the chance. Doyle does teach what's been called "beauty pageant femininity," i.e. it's a bit on the stereotypical femmy side (Doyle herself was raised in "Texas high femme" where women get done up to go to the store), but being a little exaggerated makes easier to learn and one can always dial it back. Doyle had some good suggestions on how to move differently -- unfortunately I really need a bit more flexibility to do it. So I've got a bit of stretching to do. She also helped me with my voice. It turns out I'd been approaching things backwards (trying to still the lower vocal cords when I should be trying to use only them). I was actually able to get a much more realistic voice, albeit only for short sentences, but that was enough to give me incentive to practice more.

Forgot to mention in my allergy-addled state last night... One the nicer surprises was meeting Isabella's husband, Rene. I'd only met Rene en homme before, so I didn't recognize her. Fortunately, she recognized me and we had a nice time chatting over lunch.

So when all was said and done, it turned out to be very enjoyable day.

[Carin]

Family matters put a big dent in our California Dreamin experience but I have to say that I really enjoyed it and got a lot out of if. Louise wasn't feeling well for much of the time, and we had to go home on Saturday afternoon to get one of the kids off to Jr. Prom.

Thank you so much to Laura, Carla, Donna and all of the rest of you organizers. These are not easy events to organize but you ladies did an execllent job.

That was my first conference and also my first time in a public environment 'dressed'. But it felt very natural to me.

I agree that the sessions leaned more towards the full transition side but there was still a good selection for everybody. I also agree that Denae Doyle's session was interesting, educational and good fun, though I got to it late and had to leave early.

I thought the Keynote speaters at both lunches were excellent. Dr. Alice Novic, Phychiatrist, Crossdresser and author of "Alice in Genderland", and Dr. Judy Lively, Kaiser Surgen, transitioned on the job. Both are married in very strong relationships. Their presentations gave me lots to think about.

The Couples workshop was most notable for the fact that they ran out room. It seems to me that the concept of couples with transgender in their relationship is starting to go mainstream.

Best of all were the people attending. M, F, T, Couples etc. It was a wonderful social event. People were very frinedly, chatty, eager to tell their story or listen to yours, or just chat.

Most were tastefully dressed in their own style throughout the convention. Lunch looked a lot like a PTA convention, and to be honest it was difficult to determine who was not CD/TG at first glance.

The hotel was wonderful - we stayed both nights. The convention fit right in as 'just another hotel convention'. When Louise told a couple of senior ladies in the elevator what we were about, one responded - 'Oh that is here. How wonderful.' She complemented us on how well we looked (we did look fabulous I must say) and went on to talk about the tragedy of the Florida transexual city manager that got fired.

We are looking forward to going again next year.

[Sallee]

sounds like a great convention. I haven't been in years and your description sounds like it was then. Definately great fun. I look forward to hearing more from other attendees. Next year I want to make that or another.

[EricaCD]

Thanks for the updates! Glad to hear that the conference went well for y'all....sorry I could not make it but a trip to the left coast just wasn't in the cards for me then.

Best,
Erica

[jessie_cal]

Sounds like a goodtime was had. Hopefully my wife and I can go to the next one. We already have the dates circled on the calendar