What an interesting and wonderful post. Louise, you already know what a gem you are, so I won't continue showering you with praise, although you certainly deserve it!
Pride/shame/concern - whatever you call it, I think a lot of wives and CD'ers ourselves are overwhelmed at times with the "what if everyone found out" thing. It's like, "Oh no! The world will come to an end, we'll be thrown out of every organization on the planet and distanced from our friends... our children will be taken away by the state."
We tend to be overly dramatic about this issue I think. If a husband and wife are together on something like this, what possible harm can the outside world do even if they find out? Ultimately, the most important person in the world is your spouse, and if you're happy with them and they're happy with you, everything else will work out fine.
Pride's fine as long as you're a lion, but in the real world, I think it leads to a lot more problems than it's worth. Take care and may you continue to be the happiest little couple in the world - it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks anyway, does it?
Randi