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  1. #1
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    Question cought wearing a bra

    I did a bad thing today. I wore a bra under my work shirt and jacket. A woman I work with patted me on the back and gave me a little rub telling me what a good worker I was, as she was rubbing her hand up and down my dack. She stoped on my bra three times when her face got red and she left quickly.. What should I do?

  2. #2
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    stop wearing the work shirt and wear a mini skirt? not serious no idea but what the heck it might work, or you could ask her for some wardrobe tips.

  3. #3
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    well it's time for total truth between you. she knows you should sit her down and tell her..

  4. #4
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    I'm with MJ

    Quote Originally Posted by MJ View Post
    well it's time for total truth between you. she knows you should sit her down and tell her..
    Looks like the cats outta the bag. You have no idea what she may think of Cross dressers or you being one, so a candid conversation may help if she is comfortable talking about it. I'll bet her mind and imagination can easily put pictures in her head that are far "worse" than the reality.

    Kim

  5. #5
    Enjoying Life marie354's Avatar
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    A similar thing happened to me about 10 years ago.

    The secretary where I worked was also in charge of renting the apartments and rooms that the company had. One day, for whatever reason she had, she went into my apartment looking through my drawers. I never knew what she was looking for. But she found all my girlie things. (Bras, panties, etc...) She was always nice to me... Until then. She has hated me ever since. (I know that 'hate' is a strong word, but...)

    You have to play it by ear and see if things change before you jump to conclusions. Just wait & see how it goes for now.
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  6. #6
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    Hi and good luck with the bra issue. mabey telling her a little white lie is in order. Like the outher day when you rubed my back I noticed you touched my back brace and then you got red in the face and walked away and I just wanted to ask you why! I hate to lie but if you tell her the truth she might out you at work. well just a thought.
    huggs jennig

  7. #7
    Shining Through Teresa Amina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marie354 View Post
    One day, for whatever reason she had, she went into my apartment looking through my drawers. I never knew what she was looking for
    Money? Jewelry? Were other tenants missing things? Think you had a thief there, and the last I heard was that kind of thing was illegal.
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  8. #8
    Live until you die! Carin's Avatar
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    I think you could go to her and ask her if she is OK, that she seemed to be upset when she was in your office yesterday. That opens the door. If she is receptive to more discussion, you can say that you think you frightened her and you did not man to.
    Carin

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  9. #9
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I prefer to tell everyone on a "need to know" basis. It's like talking to the IRS, they don't ask, you don't volunteer information, just answer the question.

  10. #10
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    I agree with Carin

    Quote Originally Posted by Carin View Post
    I think you could go to her and ask her if she is OK, that she seemed to be upset when she was in your office yesterday. That opens the door. If she is receptive to more discussion, you can say that you think you frightened her and you did not man to.
    This is a great idea. It lets you approach the issue while giving you plenty of wiggle room.
    Kim

  11. #11
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    Thumbs up cought wearing a bra

    Don't Worry about it I have not gone without Wearing a bra and panties for about two years! When I am at home on my days off I wear a camp shirt and a sleevless mock turtleneck, and women's jeans, and a pair of shoes with a 2 and 1/4 inch heel. I have NOmen's underwear of any find, and I do not want any

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    I'm really curious as to how no one noticed up in the front. Loose clothes? On the main topic, I would not say anything. I don't know what kind of environment you work in so to play it safe, I would not come out with it to anyone or her. She is not 100% sure of anything at the moment. You can say you wear a man bra because you have man breasts if she ever confronts you. There are such cases. I would not confess as I don't get that she is a close and caring friend. Worst case, if she came out in the open at work, you can sue for sexual harassment. If a man brushed a woman's back a few times at work, he can be sued so it works both ways. (Seriously hope this will never happen). I'd stick to wearing panties to work if I have the urge. Nowaday, so many boys undies looks like girls undies anyhow. HOM and Calvin Klein has tongs for guys. Now how fem is that!

    Good luck! I hope I didn't sound silly!
    Uasia
    Last edited by UASIANGAL; 05-08-2007 at 04:23 AM. Reason: grammar

  13. #13
    Member Jere Oneil's Avatar
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    I used to wear one to work in the winter, when I wore heavy shirts and jackets. As for your situation, wait to see if her attitude changes towards you. If it does, ask her why she is treating you differently and if she says anything about the bra, just say you were afraid it was about that. Then explain to her that you have a rash around your nipples and your shirt rubbing against them causes you a lot of irritation and pain. It was almost unbearable until you decided to try a bra, and it has helped a lot..

  14. #14
    Lingerie Lover RachelDenise's Avatar
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    I like Carin's idea. It opens the door if she wants to talk and also shows her that you're sensitive. Could be the best syuggestion as to how to approach the problem. I don't think letting it sit there until something bad happens is the right way. Be honest and give information. No sexual overtones!
    Rachel Denise

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  15. #15
    Is it just me or......... Carroll's Avatar
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    "the thing is, I lost a bet with a friend and the loser had to wear a bra for the whole day" or just tell her the truth
    Drumming, My other hobby

  16. #16
    Girl incognito Staci G's Avatar
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    Sexual harassment

    If you had been the one rubbing her back and stopping at her bra she could have easily had a suit filed against you. She had no business rubbing any part of you. Not that it is not a bad thing understand BUT All is fair in crossdressing!! If she says something to you ar anyone else you might ask her in private why was she rubbing you and you feel violated, it might make her think twice before she says something to the wrong person..
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Girly Zone.
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  17. #17
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    tiffanysharon you are so "busted"

    i feel honesty is the best policy if you lie then you have to make up more lies you can end the cycle and be true

  18. #18
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    As an engineer, I expect to not be touched by anyone at any time. If they have a problem with what they feel when they touch me, that is their problem, but I will say nothing, other than express my displeasure with them touching me if it is more than I am comfortable with.

    If someone were to ask me about it, now that I have time to think about it, I would mention that that is an inappropriate question for a business environment. If asked outside of work, I would say I have a medical condition that I do not want to talk about.

    Dee

  19. #19
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    Don't do or say anything youre not comfortable with----first of all, what is said above is correct---she has no business giving you a "back rub" at work---it is sexually harrassment if its unwelcomed---secondly what you choose to wear for underwear is your business, not any body elses---I bet she will never bring the matter up and hopefully she will be cured of her touchy feely habit.
    [SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

  20. #20
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    I wear panties, pantyhose, bra, and camie a lot under my clothes at work. Sometimes instead of pantyhose, I'll wear a garter belt and stockings. Then too I also wear a white lab coat, so that hides a lot. I have my own office and I don't walk around the building a lot, so I minimize my exposer.

  21. #21
    Junior Member katia's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say anything but leave the bra at home, if she tells anyone they will come up to you and pat you on the back to check for themselves and when they don't find anything they won't believe it.
    If you want to tell the truth i can see it getting around your work place in days ,you know what these women are like
    In the garden of life another flower blossoms is that really me

  22. #22
    Silver Member Lisa Golightly's Avatar
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    I wouldn't do anything.
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  23. #23
    Out for a walk EricaCD's Avatar
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    First of all, everyone: whether what the other woman did was sexual harrassment depends on a LOT of factors as to which we have no knowledge. While I generally agree that between the sexes, the workplace is best protected by a hands-off philosophy, a bunch of armchair lawyering is not helping our friend with her problem.

    Tiffanysharon - I think it boils down to this. If you are confident that the woman would not tell any other person what she learned about you (or if you don't care if she did tell others), then I would not say anything.

    If you are not so confident about that, your best chance (and it's not a sure thing) to prevent your secret from leaking further is to talk to her asap. I would just say something like:

    1. As you probably figured out, I am a crossdresser.
    2. I didn't think it would be any sort of issue - really hadn't expected to be found out by a back rub (and if she views this as a subtle reminder that her conduct may have been inappropriate, so much the better)
    3. I would be grateful if you would not let anyone know about this

    And I'd have that talk mighty fast...before her tongue gets loosened by a few after work drinks or whatever.

    Erica
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  24. #24
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    I'm with Lisa

    I would do nothing
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  25. #25
    Must...Buy...Clothes... Katrina's Avatar
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    I would probably act like nothing happened. I know that a back rub from a co-worker, male or female, puts that person at risk for sexual harassment issues, but she may also have serious issues with crossdressers too. That may be the reason she bolted. Also, your under garments are none of her business.
    -Katrina

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