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Thread: cought wearing a bra

  1. #76
    Love my little puppy Ashleigh's Avatar
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    In the 18 May 07 The Kiplinger Letter, they mention that Congress is ready to prohibit workplace discrimination of gays and gender identity individuals. This new law will require equal treatment on pay, hiring, firing, and so on and would ban employers from taking into account sexual orientation or gender identity. They said 18 states currently have this law in place.

    We can only hope that they get their act together and pass this law completely and without hesitation but more importantly, that the states and employers will take it seriously. No law is good unless it can and will be enforced.

    Let's watch closely.

    A


    Quote Originally Posted by MsJanessa View Post
    btw If Tiffany lived in Maine she would be under the protection of the Maine Human Rights Act which prohibits discrimination in the workplace based on gender expression or identity That would include harassment by coworkers that the management didn't take effective measures to stop. A couple of years ago in my workplace at mtf TS janitor was taking a ribbing from other members of her crew--she complained to mangement and it stopped
    [SIZE=4]~ASHLEIGH~[/SIZE]
    Finis Origine Pendet (The end depends upon the beginning)

  2. #77
    Senior Member suzy's Avatar
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    personally..... I would not do a thing....
    Let it go and wait to see what develops...No sense outing yourself unneedlessly!

  3. #78
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    Lou Lou

    I don't think you should have a talk with the lady. She was invading his space. Why did she assume it was ok to give him a back rub. If I was his wife I would be furious.

  4. #79
    Aspiring Member Alex!'s Avatar
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    Well, if your objective is to keep your crossdressing a secret, then you must expect from time to time that a clue will be dropped. Wearing a bra to work under your guy clothes is pretty risky, it seems to me. You never know what might happen, and besides which bra straps can be discerned under clothing more often than you might think.

    Also, it sounds like the coworker was patting you on the back, not giving you a sexual rub-down (like some have suggested here). It totally makes sense that she would inadvertantly feel the bra strap. This is based on you original post, and I don't have all the information - so if I'm wrong I offer my apologies.

    In any case, the bottom line is that it really is no one's business what you wear, especially when it comes to underwear. Be advised, though, that the rumor mill is no doubt cranking...

  5. #80
    Barbara
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    Wear and tell?

    I wear panties as well as a a bra on many occasions. I am sure that the panites show when I bend over dont't they all? As for the bra, I try to wear a front hook as well as having the adjusters in the front, Less telltale pumps. With todays anti harrassment laws I would think as long as you are not flaunting it is nobody's business. It really comes down to you and how comfortable you are wearing a bra. I once told a someone that I was told by a doctor to start getting used to the idea as I had Gynecomastia and would probably need on in a few years anyway. Consider it a training bra.
    Barbara

    Let it Blossom - Let it grow

  6. #81
    am here Hali's Avatar
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    finally trapped

    Well i have never worn any Girly stuff to work, but more often (when i use to CD alot) ma sister use to ask "are you wearing eye pencil?" i'll say MAY BE, then change the topic, hey dont worry just be bold and say something like 'its a long story i'll explain later' if she asks again continue to tell her that its a long story when she sits you down and ask you about this long story then that'll be the time to tell her about your CDing but just alittle DOSE of the CDing just enough for her to get a grip, you can tell her that its a game you play or its a BET you are doing with someone, HEY COOK-UP something. Tek care

  7. #82
    New Member Cathy38c's Avatar
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    The first thing someone at work would notice is I shave my legs. I work as a Grounds Keeper so I wear those shorts with cargo pockets, a Tee shirt, and hat. I sort of dress like Bill Murray in Caddy Shack so I'm very reluctant to wear a bra, as my Tee shirt gets wet quite a bit from lawn sprinklers. I do wear panties 24/7, and during the heat I wear sexy thongs under my shorts.
    If people ask about my shaving my legs, I just tell, yes, It's cooler, and I don't like body hair. If they have ever noticed a panty or thong sticking out my waist band, I've never been asked or told.
    Cathy
    The bra is the ultimate symbol of femininity. I have been in love with, turned on by, and just totally immersed with a bra fetish ever sense Diane Couvier wore a blue bra under a white blouse in freshman high school.
    Nice supple, perky breasts in a 'C' cup are what I Wish I had!

  8. #83
    Junior Member Joanne_'jojo''s Avatar
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    I would suggest doing nothing. Your co-worker will eventually figure out what this means to her, probably not much, and carry on much as before.

    If she does figure that it is a big deal and changes her dealings with you drastically such that you feel you can no longer deal with her "emotions", then I would approach it much as Carin suggested.

    Just say that you've noticed a change in your working relationship that is causing strain/stress and that you hope you haven't done anything wrong and is there anything she would wish to discuss. Leave the owness on her to bring up and also come away as a caring co-worker, a normal person per se.

    Honestly I think all the talk here about Sexual Harassment charges are ridiculous and in the end self destructive.
    I believe in giving people there own space and I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable rubbing anyones back at work. However once the threat is on the table, if she decided to ignore it or feel hurt by the accusation, it's only going to hurt the both of you.
    Yes, she'll probably get disciplined and depending on the company could loose her job, however there would no longer be any doubt in the whole of the company over why the charges where laid in the first place. I know that HR is bound to keep details confidential, but do you think she would feel the same after such an accusation and the threat of losing her job.

    Leave well alone and probably stick to just the panties at work is probably the best advice.
    [SIZE="3"]All it takes is a little Pixie Dust![/SIZE]

  9. #84
    life is a journey Mitch23's Avatar
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    I apologise if i missed it but have there been any developments since you were 'discovered'?

    mitch

  10. #85
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    That is an odd situation. I wouldn't do anything. If she decides to say something, she will. I wouldn't bring it up though.

  11. #86
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    Unhappy No more bras at work.

    Thank you everyone for all the advice to my mistake. I have since not worn a bra to work. My co-worker has avoided me a lot. I feel she is bothered by what happened, but has not told anyone that I know of. So I decided to do more dressing at home. I like to have frendly atmosphere to work in, and it is feminine intuition that tells me somthing is wrong. I will do more dressing at home, less thrill but safer. Thanks again everyone Tiffanysharon

  12. #87
    Blushing June '07 Bride Sheri 4242's Avatar
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    Sorry this is long, but . . . (but I've done it again)!

    Wow! Wish I had read this thread sooner!

    First, Tiffany Sharon, you didn't do, "a bad thing." It is your business what you wear! Of course, you have to consider the possible consequences, but above and beyond that, I'd say, "so what."

    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon View Post
    You wore a bra and were caught, but it seems to me that there is a part of you that wanted to be caught, otherwise why would you do it?
    Sharon I think you are absolutely right. When any CDer goes out dressed (inclusive of underdressing at work), there is a component regarding possibly being caught and the ramifications of that happening -- the possibility does exist! I think there is a certain mental excitement just knowing it is a possibility! It actually can be fun and exciting!!! I think the most obvious time that I experienced was when the wife and I were out of town. I was loading the car at the hotel when a rain shower cropped up and I got drenched. When I headed back to our room -- after having passed a number of people in the hallway, both guests and hotel staff (and realizing I was getting many stares) -- I realized that my shirt was VERY wet -- enough for my bra to really show big time!!!

    Third, the legalities (in the U.S.): the actions of the girl who gave Tiffany Sharon, "the little back rub" could be easily construed as sexual harassment. Much of the time, the law looks to see if the person committing the act has some power over the other (to promote, demote, fire, make life difficult on the job), BUT, this isn't a hard and fast rule. The mere fact that this particular GG could have gone to her superiors (and thus made life difficult for Tiffany and/or hold her out to ridicule) makes this situation rise to a level of sexual harassment b/c, if told to superiors (and co-workers, too) there could be the creation of "a hostile environment" that is "so pervasive so as to dramatically change the terms and conditions of (Tiffany's) employment." The starting point is very simple (and an easy burden to meet): was the action unwelcome! And it doesn't need to be sexual advances or the seeking of sexual favors; all it has to be is "verbal or physical conduct of an unwlcome sexual nature."

    AND, while we are awaiting new protections to be passed by Congress, Title VII has been held by a number of courts to prohibit harassment of, and discrimination against, a person just b/c they do not conform to certain socially expected behaviors associated with their gender!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by TxKimberly View Post
    I'll bet her mind and imagination can easily put pictures in her head that are far "worse" than the reality. Kim
    That could be the case, Kim, but I am wondering if the GG has a poblem with it at all?!!! It is possible she doesn't.

    BTW: I have seen the "I lost a bet" line work -- and work very well. That said, maybe Carin has the best idea:

    Quote Originally Posted by Carin View Post
    I think you could go to her and ask her if she is OK, that she seemed to be upset when she was in your office yesterday. That opens the door. If she is receptive to more discussion, you can say that you think you frightened her and you did not man to.
    That's good, Carin -- let the GG talk and see what she might be feeling. Who knows, she may of had an idea about the CDing, liked it, but got embarassed after confirmation?!! Maybe not -- the point is, you can't know unless and until you talk, and Carin has presented a great format for such.

    Quote Originally Posted by Salandra View Post
    I prefer to tell everyone on a "need to know" basis. It's like talking to the IRS, they don't ask, you don't volunteer information, just answer the question.
    True -- very, very true. The problem, Salandra, is that many people don't know how to answer questions "in a legal way." For example, if someone walks up to you and asks if you know what time it is, most people (with a watch) will look at their watch and give the time. This is no big deal in the regular work-a-day world, but in a legal setting it can be a huge mistake. In a legal setting if you were asked this exact question, and you have a watch, your answer should only be, "yes." The point: people tend to be too forthcoming and/or talk too much.

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