Well girls it happend - breakup with gf

[Priscilla Ann]

Veronica, I have had similiar experiences. At first they said they were okay with my crossdressing then later told me I was a total weirdo. When this happens all I have to say is "Next".

[Tree GG]

...They or she in this case could handle it intellectually but not emotionally. ...

Look! She tried to accept it, it just did not work for her. Perhaps you see it as a lie, ...

I give her credit for trying and don't think you should be angry towards her when she did her best to accept and simply could not come to grips with it. She did try.

OK, she probably should've said, "I think enough of you to give this a shot, but I'm not sure." Instead of, "I'm OK with it". But IMO you're not appreciating the effort - even though it wasn't successful. Please realize that 90% of the population have no clue what CDing & TG is. Accepting/tolerating/supporting those gender issues for the community in general is one thing, but to make it your own lifestyle is something completely different - especially for those of us without the TG feelings.

I'm sorry you're feeling hurt, angry & betrayed. I'm sure she could've handled it more honestly, but it does sound like she may have believed it was no big deal in the beginning, but found it did make a difference to her.

[Di]

Your being honest with her was worth it...because it is up front and yrs down the road...your life doesn't blow up in your face....and I do not think she lied I think she wanted to accept but found she could not.................also it is good she spoke the truth............BUT there are girls that are accepting out there...trust me there are...you just did not find THE one.....best wishes.

[Marcie Sexton]

Keep the faith...

Its her loss, not yours...

[Angie G]

Sorry about thh GF hun I know it 's hard but life gos on so getout there and live life
Angie

[Rebecca_Annette]

But she had been lying to me the whole time she was not ok with it

Could it be that she wasn't just "out-and-out" lying? Perhaps she thought enough of you to try to come to terms with what she felt was strange, and in the end she just could not do it?

Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm sorry your relationship is over, try not to be too down, some things are not meant to be, and when they are not meant to be, they wilt and fade. Some things are meant to be, and when those things happen they blossom like a beautiful and perfect rose.

[Fab Karen]

The two big fears for GG's are that you want to be with men, or that you are TS and want to change your body.
The third issue which some have is the old myth that a man is the exact opposite of a woman. If they require that a man play that role, then they probably won't be able to handle having a relationship with a CD.

[Bernadina]

I think you played that one right.

Upfront about everything. And then found out before it was too late that there was going to be a problem.

Sorry it happened. Better now than later.

Keep looking. Accepting GG's are out there. I found one and married her.

[az_azeel]

If I knew it was destroying the relationship I would have stopped cd'ing right away. Relationships aren't exactly easy to come by.

I know from reading a lot of posts on this forum that you can't stop c/ding no matter how hard you try...


Veronica I am sorry to hear about your break up... but at least your free to find someone that will accept you. It took me a long time but I did eventualy... good luck on your new found freedom, take care

[Sweet Cindy]

That sucks, Vero. Sorry to hear about the breakup. They're never easy, no matter what the circumstances. Keep you pretty chin up - you'll find something better!

Cindy

[faltenrock]

I'm sorry to hear that.

A loss also means a new beginning and start. Perhaps you'll be able to find someone, who can actually accept it and perhaps enjoys it as part of you.

Doreen

[Lady Phoenix]

you werent aware of, and cding is a ready made excuse to run for the door.

[EmmaB GG]

I think that we all have to be aware that the ex-gf is not here to give her thoughts on this, which is sad as it's all too easy for any of us to hear and see what we want to when it's a one sided point of view.

But the main thing, she tried to understand, which is a lot more than many gg's do, I'll bet! And trying is, at times, more than hard, it seems impossible, pointless, desperate .... you name it, many of us GG's here have possibly been through that and more. Your heart breaks then you fall in love again, then you get frustrated and so the circle goes, sometimes for years - you may have no idea of the rollercoaster that 'becoming accepting' can be.

Don't be too hard on her, and that's to all of us reading this - she might just be tearing herslf up inside about it, you know. The rollercoaster isn't for everyone ...

[Sheri 4242]

" . . . you are lucky she came to that realization after 4 months, rather than after 4 years, a marraige ceremony, a house purchase and kids---trust Me its a lot easier to walk away from it now."

Wow is that ever the truth!!! And, it is true with a lot of aspects regarding marriage. One of my daughters was so'ooo close to marrying her bf -- felt she had to b/c they made a baby (and he made her feel like nobody would ever want her b/c she was "damaged goods" b/c she has a baby -- his words). It was becoming evident that he was quite abusive, as well as controlling and a deadbeat!!! Far, far better to know at this point!!! Read the post I just made to Dee about my life experiences and my first marriage and divorce. It is sort of long, but it illustrates that there are plenty of accepting and supportive GGs who will truly have no problem with CDing -- who will embrace it as a very important part of what makes you, you. Like I heard on the radio the other day, this is why engagements should be about a year -- it gives you both a chance to find out about the other. What seems to be often isn't after the "new" wears off!

[Sheri 4242]

But IMO you're not appreciating the effort - even though it wasn't successful. . . . but it does sound like she may have believed it was no big deal in the beginning, but found it did make a difference to her.

We really can't judge if she made any effort at all. Maybe she thought it was a passing thing -- OR maybe she just wanted to get married so badly that she decided to say it was okay. (Seen too much of that lately, starting with one of my daughters!) Maybe she really did believe it was okay and wouldn't make a difference. Maybe she did try. Maybe it was something else altogether. We don't know b/c we haven't heard her side -- and probably won't. Regardless whether she tried or not, it is better he found out now.

[veronicagurl85]

I first of all want to thank all you lovely ladies for responding to my thread. To tell you all the truth I don't feel to bad about the breakup I knew it was bound to happen. What I'm trying to say is that also she told me countless times that it was no problem and even encouraged it but I never really exposed it to her. But it was a constant thing of me reminding her that I was not gay and other things. But she had always told me it was fine I mean I knew she tried to understand and accept but it just wasn't happening. But anyways thanks again girls for al your support and words of kindness. Thanks. I will eventually find that special lady who accepts vero. Thanks again so much ladies.

Much love
Vero

[chantelle]

Not sure what to say to this, every person on this planet says they are okay, but most times they are just hiding it. Welcome to reality. May your heart heal from this and we are hoping that you dont leave here so that we can talk to you more about it.
Hugs
Chantelle. (Smiling)

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"]It takes a special person to accept us, a person that can think on their own and not be worried what others might think. I wouldn't worry or do things different in the future be honest to yourself and her and keep the communication channels open. [/SIZE]

[latinatv]

I think someone said it before, there may have been another reason and this was the best way for her to break it off and hurt you in the process.

[Lisa Golightly]

Don't be too harsh on her... Love blinds us into declarations where nothing matters, but all too often it does and we end up eating our words like ashes... Maybe she really wanted to accept you, but couldn't... Let her go, and be happy... Those who touch our lives do so for a reason.

[Rita B]

A few weeks ago the wife and I had some very strong arguments. There were threats of separation and living apart. At first, I was really at a lost of how I was going to live and get by on SS etc... I thought that I would have to go back to work at my age which is not easy. But the idea of separating and living on my own was the trigger to get me back crossdressing. Right now my wife is in Florida on holiday until the 27th of May. If when she comes back, the issue of separation comes up again, I will just let it happen. I have not done any crossdressing since we got married some 15 years ago, but we all know that it never goes away. I have met so many wonderful crossdressers in the past few weeks that I know if I had to live alone, I would have a lot of friends

Hugs, Rita