And then things went very wrong . . .

[Elizabeth Ann]

I believe I have this forum to thank for keeping me out of trouble last week, but then again, it contributed to getting me into trouble in the first place!

I was far behind in the spring outfitting of our sailboat. The boat is over 50 miles from home, and my wife suggested that I just go for a couple of days and sleep on the boat. A very practical suggestion, and when I loaded up all the tools, and materials, I also added a bag with some of my favorite dress up clothes.

This would be only the third time I have ventured out of the house dressed, and my first time to try makeup. At sundown, I quit work and went over to the nice individual shower/toilet rooms at the marina and took my time showering, careful close shave and experimentation with the makeup.

Now on the web, the before and after pictures on makeup web sites are amazing. So, I was fully expecting that this would turn an overweight 56 year old man with too much time in the sun into a sexy babe. However, no matter what I did with the foundation, eye shadow, mascara and lipstick, it didn’t seem to work. So I finally got dressed nice but conservative flowered dress, long hair wig, and three inch heels.

I know passing is “problematic.” I’m 6’3” and 250 pounds. I have an indoors profession but have spent a lot of time outside (I would live on a sailboat if I could afford it). Moreover, I have been told many times I have a passing resemblance to Harrison Ford, which I think really means that we share those deep creases that run from nose to the corners of the mouth. So, I stand there in the dressing room knowing that I look like an old, fat, Harrison Ford in a dress.

No matter, I know from this forum that I can still do this. By now, it is after 9:30 and I get in the car and head for Annapolis. I stop at a drive through hamburger joint. Okay. I pull up to a bank ATM, get out and walk to it. Still okay. I drive to downtown Annapolis, a small town with a nice boat basin in the center. It’s a lively place, and even at 11 p.m. there are people about. It is a nice stroll around the basin looking at the boats, and then once up and down Main St. window shopping. A few people stare, and a couple of men say hello as they pass, which leads me to conclude that they have been drinking all night.

Annapolis has free wireless wifi downtown, so I get my laptop out of the car and sit on a bench by the basin to check emails and surf a bit. It is a pleasant and mellow evening, and about 1 a.m. I decide to head back to the boat.

Here is where the experience starts to feel like a Greek tragedy where the Gods punish the hero for his hubris. I’m thirsty, and I stop at one of those gas station/convenience stores. At first, I stand outside and get gas with a credit card. I want to get something to drink, but I am nervous enough about going in to wait for other customers to clear out. After dawdling by the gas pump, I pull up to the store but sit in the car combing my hair. A grandmother, mother, and daughter are sitting in their van eating sandwiches. Eventually another customer leaves the store and the van leaves, but two burley men go in.

I am waiting for the men to leave when a police car pulls up and the officer walks directly to my car and motions to roll down the window. Instantly visions of ruin flash before me: career over, family alienated, abandoned by friends and impoverished. But I have been reading this forum and repeat to myself that I am not breaking any law. I roll down the window.

“Sir, were you in an altercation with a van this evening?” The expression on my face must have told him that I had no clue as to what he was talking about. After another officer from another car checks my license and car registration (Sir, could I see your . . .), he comes back and explains that the van with three women had called the police. They had read me from just the shoulders up and 30 feet away.

The police were polite about it: “Sir, they must have been taken aback by your style of dress” and “okay sir, you are free to go.” But the whole thing left me very disturbed. I’m pretty confident of both my abilities and my moral compass, and I felt neither fear or shame. I was irritated at being read so easily, but mostly what I felt, sitting there as the police officers spoke matter-of-factly to this man in a dress, was foolish and silly. My mood was so bad that not even the sailboat lifted it the next day.

[Daintre]

Hi Elizabeth, my goodness girl, I would have been petrified in that situation. Good on you for your ability to get out of a sticky situation.

[Cai]

Seems to me it ended well, anyway. Clearly the police officers were a lot more tolerant than those women. I hope your next outing goes better.

[RobertaFermina]

I see this for what it is.
If someone calls the police on you, the police will deal with the matter professionally, see they have no cause to molest you, make sure you are not an escaped serial killer, and then return your papers and move on.
That's one imagined nightmare that in reality is proven to be no more than an inconvenience.


Roberta

[JennMW]

They had read me from just the shoulders up and 30 feet away.

While that may be true, you also gave them suspicious behavior, furtive glances, loitering and a lot of time to look and discuss calling the cops.

For that matter, had you gone in, got your drink and left, the cops would not have had time to get there!

I remember the times when I sat both paralyzed and quivering in fear at the same time waiting for someone to move on. It has been said here many times that acting like you belong and doing normal things in a normal way is the best way to avoid attracting unwanted attention.

It works for me now, it may work for you if you want to pursue going out in public.

Chalk it up to experience and learn from it!

Hugs,
Jennifer

[Stephenie S]

Yup! If you act suspicious you are going to attract more attention, no matter if you are buying a bra or a Coke. When you act like you belong, people assume you know what you are doing.

Come on, hon. This has NOTHING to do with CDing. You were acting suspicious and somone called the cops. It matters not what you had on.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Rita B]

I think I would have pee'ed in my pants!

[Fallen Angel]

big hugs to you Sis,We all have our bad hair days,just chalk it up to experiance,Its does get better

[trannie T]

Guess you didn't pass.

[Ericka2]

I so feel your pain, before i met my girlfriend i used to adventured out by myself and i know exactly how you feel, now i go with my girlfriend places and the police are the most polite people, just hang in there.

Love Ericka

[Cristi]

Your day reminded me a bit of my own today (but no police, thankfully).

I had to spend a half a day at an office a few hours away, so dressed for the drive. After doing the work I needed to do there, it was late afternoon so I dressed for the drive home AND did a quick basic makeup job. Nothing I would feel comfortable 'passing' with, but enough to step out of the car for perhaps a short walk in a parking lot.

So I did this in a few places until I got to one mall parking lot. As I was about to get out of the car, I noticed that the truck I had pulled in behind to park was occupied. The male driver was staring at me in his rear view mirror. As I watched him, he took out his telephone and, without breaking eye contact, dialed a number and started talking.

I could imagine the conversation was either "You'll never guess what I'm looking at..." or "Hello? Police?" (I know what I was doing was in no way illegal... but did he?).

Needless to say, my confidence was shot. I drove away and headed back to the highway to finish my drive home.

Things didn't end all that badly though... when I got home my wife handed me a package that had arrived for me today. Some bras I had ordered had come in today . I had finally found something in my band size (44) that actually came in an A cup and had promptly ordered 4 different styles!

All's well that ends well... except, like Karen Hutton said in another thread today, this might have been Cristi's last outing until Fall since I depend on the cooler weather so I can wear fashions that cover my arms and necessitates tights or dark hose. Now it is 'short skirt and tank top' weather I don't have a chance in h*ll of passing.

[uknowhoo]

you gave them suspicious behavior, furtive glances, loitering and a lot of time to look and discuss calling the cops.

For that matter, had you gone in, got your drink and left, the cops would not have had time to get there!

I remember the times when I sat both paralyzed and quivering in fear at the same time waiting for someone to move on. It has been said here many times that acting like you belong and doing normal things in a normal way is the best way to avoid attracting unwanted attention.

I know, you were just trying to be helpful and offer sound advise Jennifer, but give the poor girl a break!


Anyway, I'm so sorry Elizabeth for your traumatic experience. It does sound as though you handled yourself quite well though, considering. I wish you better luck next time you head out. Til then, you can enjoy being an insuide girl

[Billijo49504]

WOW, that was a wonderful thing to have to choice from, so here you go....BJ

[Alice Torn]

Back, in August 2005, my first time, walking about,in a town, at night, then, getting into my car, and leaving the small coastal town. The cop, had been slowly driving, watching me wald around the town, and followed me out. After a few miles, he sure enough, turned on his lights. My hert sank, and thoughts of 'This is punishment from, the Lord", and other embarrassinf feelings came through. Well, he asked why I was driving nervously, where I was going, why I was walking around town, late at night, alone, if i was drinking, etc. I told him I was dressed that way, because I was wasnting to feel what a woman feels like, and see what they go through. He said he was not concerned about what i was wearing, but, how i was driving. Very professional. It was only the second time I had been out. The night before, was the first time, and all I did then, was drive around another small city, and get gas, 2 or 3 times. The next day, I got read several times, and asked by a man, to jump start his car. He told his kids to look the other way, and said, thank you sir, after. I can relate some, to your embarrassing moments.

[brenya]

I don't know how I would have handled myself, I can't keep my composure around police, let alone if I was dressed, it really could have turned out worse though

[JennMW]

I know, you were just trying to be helpful and offer sound advise Jennifer, but give the poor girl a break!

Sorry Tammi, I'm well known for telling it like it is in real life and don't quite have the repuation here to backup what I was saying. I'll work on that

Elizabeth, I'm sorry for sounding harsh.

It is challenging to convey emotions in writing. My intentions are good. As I indicated, I've acted and felt the way you did.

I have had my encounters with the law and they were also professional.

In fact, it is BECAUSE of those experiences that I have been able to move on and eventually move about with confidence.

Hugs all around,
Jennifer

[DawnRodgers]

Well, you got read. No permanent damage. May just indicate you need more practice at doing your fem makeover. I would suggest, if you have a digital camera, that you take some pics of yourself dressed and with different levels of make up. That way you can better see what you look like. It is always different in a photo than even looking in a mirror. Many times, with make up, less is more. I think most of us, in the early stages, tend to over do it. But a picture, or even a short movie, of ourselves will tell a truer tale and, perhaps help to make a better you.
Dawn

[faltenrock]

Well that incident again shows, we should try to behave as natural as possible with no hesitation to do what we intend to do.

I understand you very well, I usually check out the close environment before I make the move to get out of my car. When I return to my car, I usually don't wait, when there are other people around watching me - I just leave.
Most of the times I feel save and not watched.

But you managed the situation well.

[MsJanessa]

the police were simply responding to a report from the three women---who knows what they thought and who really cares. They probably have watched too many Hitchcock movies. It sounds like both you and the police handled the incident professionally and without hysterics. The only times I know of T-Girls who have gotten in trouble with the law, they were actually committing crimes---Prostitution is a big one but an even more common offense for Us Ts is drunk driving---seems a lot of the ladies out there need liquid courage to go out dressed. If you have to drink and dress, don't for heavens sake drive---take a taxi instead--if you do drive yourself don't drink----wouldn't do to call a friend or a relative to come get you at the police station if you are dressed. And as far as passing goes, I would rather be thought of as a beautiful TG then a plain looking GG anyday of the week.

[susann_gardener]

I don't know if you could have picked a worse place and time for yur outing! With USNA in Anapolis it is rather conservative. Also, this is Commencent week and all the families of "those conservatives" are there. Lucky you didn't get mugged and tossed into the harbor.