On Gaining "Permission"

[Ginger62]

Hello Everyone,

It has been awhile since I have posted, I hope you all are well. I need your input on a topic with which I am currently struggling.

I came out to my wife a year ago. She has been receptive to the fact that I love skirts and thigh highs and she doesn't mind me wearing them around the house. I wear my stockings daily under my work clothes. Recently, I again brought up the topic of wanting to shave my legs. I love how it feels and how they look in my stockings. However, my wife finds smooth legs on a guy a HUGE turnoff. Regardless, I'm trying to figure out how to speak with her about this so that she would agree to allowing me to shave my gams.

Am I being too selfish here? Should I just grow a pair and do it and tell her to get over it when she discovers my newfound smoothness? I appreciate your insight, especially from the GGs out there.

Hugs,

Ginger

[O2B Barbara]

Hi Ginger,

I have also mentioned shaving my legs to the wife, she too was not so receptive although for different reasons. I am thinking that I will take it slow and give her time to adjust to the idea and if she is still not so thrilled maybe offer a compromise. With somethings it has been "can I try it once and see what it is like"? We have an agreement that if she is completely opposed after trying something, we wouldn't do it anymore. This works both ways for us.

One thing that has helped my wife with my dressing is to involve her in it. Possibly ask your wife for help the first time? This may help her to feel needed.

[Deanna2]

I'm not sure what there is to talk about. I would just do it and if or when she notices she'll either have something to say or will let it be. If she opposes it you'll be the second person to know. Otherwise it will be another small step for girlhood.

[Michelle04240]

My wife was not very crazy about it when I first shaved. I was not very hairy to begin with no it didn't really take much work lol. I went slow. The tops of my legs first..then chest..and then went all out for my first trip out. Funny thing is, she now hates body hair. she has grown to love a smooth body and would hate it if I stopped shaving.

[Vicky_Scot]

Does she ask for your permission to shave her legs?

[Kate Simmons]

Does she ask for your permission to shave her legs?

Good point Hon. Is it "natural" for a woman to shave her legs? Nope, not really, it's a learned behavior that is conditioned by society.

[MsJanessa]

Wal Mart sells a type of thigh highs that are a bit thicker than the regular kind and tend to cover leg hair better---also you can double up on your hose to better cover the hair.

[Alex S]

My wife is not really liking the idea but she is willing to let me try once but if she does not like it I wont shave them again. I her dearly and willing to work with her to keep her happy.

[Di]

My wife is not really liking the idea but she is willing to let me try once but if she does not like it I wont shave them again. I her dearly and willing to work with her to keep her happy.

I like that....try a compromise....lets try it and go from there....but the just do it comments...I'd nix that idea.... she is receptive you said....and if this is a touchy point with her.....something she really likes your legs the way they are....I would not just DO it as others suggested...........there are two of you in this relationship.........and is should be about the two of you.

[MsJoann]

I started shaving my body in small steps over time. First thighs, then complete legs, armpits, arms and hands last. I keep it that way constantly.
Yes the GF wants chest hair to run her fingers through...but....oh well, it's MY body afterall and I'm the one who has to live in it.

[Leah B]

Let her know how important it is to you and she may come around. Don't just do it though. That's the kind of stuff that lands you in the doghouse.

Still, if she tries to tell you its selfish to want to shave her legs, keep in mind that it's selfish for her to demand them furry.

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]Di is right, there are two in a relationship. Having too selfish an attitude can cause friction in the relationship. "..After all it's my body isn't it?" When in a relationship don't you give yourself to your lover, so in a way your body is also hers and visa versa. What if she did something to her body that you dissapprove of just because "it's her body" would you feel the same way? I'm fortunate that it's not much of an issue with my wife, so it's easy for me to say these things on shaving,but we have other boundaries and I resepct them as does she. It is a give and take relationship that we are striving to maintain a balance in so that no one person is doing more giving or taking. I'll get off my soapbox now, next?
Dixie[/SIZE]

[Kristen Marie]

Sounds like you have a supportive wife. And after only a year, I would not push it right yet. I spent the last six months with electrolysys and have removed most of my upper back and shoulder hairs. We are always together and she has not said anything or hinted she disliked it. Go slowly with change. Maybe work on removing parts of the leg hair, like the outside back of your calf. I have no hair there naturally.

[Andi]

I don't think so. Di is right, what do you think a married relationship is all about? I hope it was more than a legal OK to have sex with your partner. The only way to a longterm relationship is to give much more than you expect. You've got to decide what's a deal breaker and I hope this isn't one of them.

[JoAnnDallas]

I tend to get a rash on my legs, thus I use a lot of lotions to keep my legs hydraded. On day I mentioned to my wife that the lotion leaves a sticky feeling to my legs. She doesn't know about my fem side, but she said to try shaving my legs after my next shower and lotion and see if it made a difference. So I did and I'll take every acceptance like this I can get. LOL That was last summer and have shaved my legs, chest, and arms ever sense.

[karynspanties]

It was easy for me, I used to constantly scratch at my legs when they had hair. She used to comment about how un-attractive my legs were scratched raw. Now they are nice and smooth.....no more scratching.

[Miss Terr]

I am realizing more and more its best to get the CD issue on the table as early in the relationship as possible.


I do understand both arguments:

Its your body and do what you want.

And being in a relationship you value you want to keep the peace.

I must say when I was with my GF she "disliked me shaving my stomach and chest and liked furry," I even entered into the relationship shaved.
I hated it and it didnt feel good to have someone impose their 'hang-ups' over my personal appearance/hygiene.
If a relationship is truly an equal partnership ask the other party how they would like it to have you strongly oppose _________________(fill in the blank) concerning their appearance.

[Mitch23]

Just been through this same issue - mentioned it on other threads. In the end i went ahead and did it - wife was not thrilled - finds me too prickly and scratchy. sort of reached a compromise last night - she doesnt mind me doing lower legs. i would want to go over the knee area and will let the rest grow back. she thinks its just another step in my ongoing wierdness - shes prolly right!

mitch

[Sandra]

My wife is not really liking the idea but she is willing to let me try once but if she does not like it I wont shave them again. I her dearly and willing to work with her to keep her happy.

This is a good idea if she has never felt hairless legs before she may find out she likes the feel. As for the comments "just go and do it" yeah go ahead if you want a massive arguement. Talk to her again and explain how you feel.

[Tamara Segunda]

She can no more select her turn-ons and turn-offs than you can select whether you want to CD or not. Hard as it may be to fathom, some women are attracted to men with body hair. Of course you will ultimately do what you must, but if I had a choice between an SO who accepted me but found me unattractive, and an SO who viewed me as both a friend and a love god, well.... Oh, and I truly *do* understand that you may *not* have a choice in the matter, but may be driven by something irresistible. Best of luck.
.......Tamara Segunda

[Alice B]

I keep my legs shaved all the time and have for almost 15 years although I did not start to cross dress in the past 3 years. My wife is used to it and OK with it except when they get a pit prickley. I used to swim in competition and shaving is normal. Also may bike riders shave legs and arms. Being shaved is not that abnormal and mayber if she would let you try once, she migh not mind and get used to it. Then you can enjoy all the feeling that go with smooth legs. Good Luck!

[marie354]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones...
I've been shaving so long, that the only thing I get any more is a small tuft on my knees. You'd have to look for it to see it too, before it's shaved clean again.

My leg and under-arm hair just kept getting thinner and thinner over the years.

I'm a bit jealous of my SO, though... She has never had any hair to shave at all in her under-arms. Lucky girl.

She knew about my hairless body very early in our relationship.

[Ginger62]

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for all of your replys to my situation.

From them I have learned this:

1) Take it slow.
2) Talk it over.
3) Ask her to try it with me and see how she likes it.
4) I'm not sure if I brave enough to ask her this one- ask her to join me when I shave my legs.

We'll see! I am certain that it won't be boring.

Hugs,

Ginger

[kittypw GG]

She can no more select her turn-ons and turn-offs than you can select whether you want to CD or not. Hard as it may be to fathom, some women are attracted to men with body hair. Of course you will ultimately do what you must, but if I had a choice between an SO who accepted me but found me unattractive, and an SO who viewed me as both a friend and a love god, well.... Oh, and I truly *do* understand that you may *not* have a choice in the matter, but may be driven by something irresistible. Best of luck.
.......Tamara Segunda

Exactly. It is not so much about controlling you (why do cd's think that their wives want to contol someone? We actually want equal partners) It is about sexual attraction. I am ok with cd'ing but the more my hubby looks like a girl the less I am sexually attracted. After all most of us are heterosexual and are trying to comprimise about your need to cd. Being bi-sexual would help but most of us are not. If you want to turn her off further then go ahead and shave like others have suggested. You need to calculate the damage you will do by not respecting her feelings. If you want to gain or maintain her respect for you then try a comprimise. How about seasonal shaving? Shaving during the winter. The other thing about shaving that is a turn off is that it keeps cd's from participating in activities with the family like wearing shorts or swimming. Seasonal shaving would be a nice comprimise and something to consider. Considering your partners feelings is part of being in a relationship and will work better for you in the long run. Kitty

[RachelDenise]

If it's a touchy subject, don't just do it. If you want to lose all you have gained that is. Keep the lines of communication open. If she is tolerant of other things, maybe this will work out as well.