Why are we hetero CDs always mistaken for gays, bis or transexuals?

[espaniola]

I'll tell you my opinion about this first, and then I expect to receive opinions from you all.

My opinion is, society wrongly equals someone being feminine to someone wanting to be taken sexually, as a woman. Society considers it is impossible for a "feminine" male, to act and function both socially and sexually as a male. They always associate wanting to be beautiful and sexy, especially by wearing "prohibited" women's clothing, to liking men, as well as wanting to act and feel like a woman all the time (much less of a "real" man, but "acting" as a man for social convenience, for power and position).

And I say this by experience, because I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past that thought this way even though they clearly experienced my maleness, by having sex with me when we both were super-sexily dressed in lingerie. They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated against by society.

What do you people think?

[TV Wannabe]

Progressive Liberalism will prevail, in 20 or 30 years everything on this website will be socially acceptable, at least I hope so anyway.

[DeeInGeorgia]

Its not a crossdresser thing, it is a feminine male thing, and it is picked up at an early age, sometimes, before puberty.

Dee

[Mitch23]

Dunno - my wife still has this thing about crossdressing and gayness. i think in the past there has been the tendency to hang around in the gay scene because they are accepting of alternative lifestyles.

mitch

[Tree GG]

What do you people think?

You asked

Your description of what it means to be sexually attracted to men would hold true for hetero females or gay men or bi persons.

90% (estimate) of population want the Readers Digest version. How many people do you encounter in a given day who ask, "How are you?" and proceed without waiting for a reply? These same 90% believe women and men are seperate and distinct and the accepted norm is to advertise your masculinity or feminity by certain clothing, interests, and body languages.

So at 1st glance, CD's are men, exhibiting the characteristics of females, who usually like men sexually, so why wouldn't they assume a CD also likes men? Fits in with the norms they know and requires very little time, energy or thought to clarify. And who cares? I don't really want to know the sexual preferences of 99.9% of the population.

So I guess your confusion and lack of understanding why confuses me.

[sparks]

I general I think people like labels and categories. Right wrong, black or white. When we blur the lines they can't put it together. Sometimes it's just how the brain works.
Johnny wears a bra therefore he must be gay. Much easier to assume then to get to know the circumstances and person or people. Especially when you get into areas such "I'm bi when I dress in sexy lingerie."

My wife thinks I flutter about in dress. She can't just assume that I go on with everyday life. That I paint, read, watch TV and do house chores. I'm must acting steriotypically.

Yep put the labels on the correct jars and boxes and file them accordingly.

[Karren H]

Well like it or not, to John and Jane Q Public men typically like women and visa versa... So by defalt if you want to dress like a woman you must like men.. Very simplistic theroem but so is the general public..

Guess you need to wear a bumper sticker "I'm not gay... I'm just really happy, ohhh and pretty too..". Hehehe

Who cares what other people think..


Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

Well, all I know is that men can be pretty AND still use a urinal. I defy them to find a "box" for that one.

[MsJanessa]

What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.

[RobertaFermina]

First of all, sometimes such foolish statements are correct. Sometimes you can hit a golf ball with a baseball bat and get a hole-in-one. It is both Lucky and Stupid!

I believe folks reach for the Gay thing through ignorance.
The first prejudice is that "Gays are Sissy-Boys."
That is flat stupid, cause there is no balance in that. If everyone Gay is a sissy-boy (or girl) then who will play the "manly-man" to give a relationship balance? I guess Gay men must laugh or cry that one off plenty!

Now, confronted with someone who wants to dress like a woman....or Girl...Well, they must be sissy-boy's too!
That's the Second Ignorance/Prejudice...There are some ladies here who are definitely NOT Sissy-girls, or Sissy-Boys!

Now, take ignorance one, and ignorance two and you get stupid deduction three.

If Gays are Sissy-Boys/Girls, and CrossDressers are Sissy-Boys/Girls, then Crossdressers are Gay !

This is a truly pathetic Reductio Ad Absurdum !
The problem is, in this case, the logical assertion is not the only absurdity. The Reasoner (sic) has identified themselves as Ignorant (at best), Apathetic(soso), since all these prejudices can be cleared up by readily available information, and insane at worst.

Armed with this disinformation, and the foolishness to take vigorous/life-changing action based upon it, one can be harmful to ones' self and to others. When that is true, they bind you up in funny coats and watch you for 72 hours, don't they?

Roberta

[yingyang]

By wearing women's clothing, makeup, and having this "goal" of "passing as women", it is easy to think that crossdressers also want to be "attractive". Where the assumption of gayness comes from is that the reason for most women to be attractive is to attract men, right?
Careful what you wish for.
Mary

[MarinaTwelve200]

Pure ignorance---I remembered in school being told by classmates that a "Gay" or "Homo" is "a guy who thinks hes a girl"---"or wants to be a girl"

of corse a GAY and a Crossdresser were the SAME thing.

Many people grow up NEVER checking out their sexual info from a reputable source---like a BOOK.

By adulthood, Most people know that gays are attracted to other men and have sex with them, but THAt is "something else they ALSO do" rather than the primary determinant (which it is). As far as they are concerned a Gay is basically the same thing they learned in grade school.

You can tell by their questions what they really think. To them gays , crossdressers and transexuals are the same thing.

Personally, I cant see how a person could cultivate his own ignorance and never check it out. Even as a kid, when I had a sexual question, I always went to the library or encyclopedia and checked it out (It saved me a lot of needless concern)---I never trusted my equally ignorant classmates for info. There are adults that never have done this---appaling! but sadly true.

[Toyah]

I think you only have to look at some of the posts here that state you must like men because you are a CD to see how ingrained the Gay Bi prejudice about us is and then hey you just throw that one in I may be Bi.
I really dont see any difference between Bi or Gay both want men I dont. Its quite simple to be a hetro guy and be a CD being Bi is a cop out if you are Gay fine admit it and get on with your life

[brenya]

What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.

High five!

yeah I believe by gender issues have at least some small thing to do with my sexuality, can't really speak for anyone else though everybody is different, but really I don't even like to label myself as bi, I am just attracted to who I'm attracted to

being Bi is a cop out? I'm just going to ignore that, I'm too new to start drama

[Khriss]

First of all, sometimes such foolish statements are correct. Sometimes you can hit a golf ball with a baseball bat and get a hole-in-one. It is both Lucky and Stupid!

I believe folks reach for the Gay thing through ignorance.
The first prejudice is that "Gays are Sissy-Boys."
That is flat stupid, cause there is no balance in that. If everyone Gay is a sissy-boy (or girl) then who will play the "manly-man" to give a relationship balance? I guess Gay men must laugh or cry that one off plenty!

Now, confronted with someone who wants to dress like a woman....or Girl...Well, they must be sissy-boy's too!
That's the Second Ignorance/Prejudice...There are some ladies here who are definitely NOT Sissy-girls, or Sissy-Boys!

Now, take ignorance one, and ignorance two and you get stupid deduction three.

If Gays are Sissy-Boys/Girls, and CrossDressers are Sissy-Boys/Girls, then Crossdressers are Gay !

This is a truly pathetic Reductio Ad Absurdum !
The problem is, in this case, the logical assertion is not the only absurdity. The Reasoner (sic) has identified themselves as Ignorant (at best), Apathetic(soso), since all these prejudices can be cleared up by readily available information, and insane at worst.

Armed with this disinformation, and the foolishness to take vigorous/life-changing action based upon it, one can be harmful to ones' self and to others. When that is true, they bind you up in funny coats and watch you for 72 hours, don't they?

Roberta

Dang Roberta !!
Thats the most ...straight up .. Intelligent reply ... I may have ever seen here ( 'Ceptfor some of mine... while I to often get sarcastic)....
THANK YOU !!
freakinamazinghowintellectrearsit'sglowinghead.I'm Greatfull!!
"K"

[trannie T]

There are no crossdressing "poster children." Most people do not know anyone who is out as a crossdresser, so their opinions are based on a lack of information. If we wish to end some of these prejudices we should all come out of the closet and tell everyone we know what it is like for us as crossdressers. I'll be waiting over here.

[NatalieBliss]

There are no crossdressing "poster children." Most people do not know anyone who is out as a crossdresser, so their opinions are based on a lack of information. If we wish to end some of these prejudices we should all come out of the closet and tell everyone we know what it is like for us as crossdressers. I'll be waiting over here.

the revolution will be televised! million tranny march!

well so I went a bit silly but I do agree. though I fear my bark is worse than my bite on this one currently.

[Sasha IN]

My short answer is that most people just like stereotypes because it obviates their need to think. They can just categorize and move on. Confusion can be scary so if they can just drop you into a familiar box they can feel better about themselves. They aren't challenged to think for themselves and really find out who you are.

Sasha

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]Because some of us are, and that's all that people "want" to see. They are not comfortable with the fact that you can be hetro and still dress, it's way too challenging for their wee little minds to grasp. That's how they can justify it, "oh well there're gay that's why they do it."
Alot easier than to say "hey it doesn't matter anyone can do it, in fact most women have been doing it for years." encrouches to much on their comfort level.[/SIZE]

[Melinda G]

I can only speak for myself, but I do not dress to attract men. I do it to entertain myself, and because it turns me on. When I was married, I would ask my wife to put on some heels and nylons, maybe once or twice a year. Not very often, for sure. But I always got the standard reply. "Why does it always have to be a big deal? Can't we just get in bed and "do it"? Can you say "BORING". I knew you could.
So if I wanted to see nice legs, nylons, high heels, and short dresses, it became sort of a do-it-yourself project.

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]"Yeah, baby!"[/SIZE]

[Sheila]

okay,
many of us GG's have actually (before we discovered your cding) have stumbled across gay sites/chatrooms that you have visited on the net .. and I am one of those.
Secondly so many have lied even when first questioned about those sites and other things before you first came out to us ..... if you have lied about that what else have you lied about ???.
3rdly so many continue to visit the same/similar sites. Then there are the lengths so many will go to to hide their online activity ........ it sure as heck don't gve us room to believe what we hear from you, and so if your partners are having trouble believing what they hear, why should mr/mrs average believe any different.

Then there are the many threads of the type " .....do you dream of being with a man when dressed", ....HELLO and you wonder why society in general equate cding with bi/gay tendancies.

Those are just my thoughts and questions, just my 0.02

[sparks]

okay,
many of us GG's have actually (before we discovered your cding) have stumbled across gay sites/chatrooms that you have visited on the net .. and I am one of those.
Secondly so many have lied even when first questioned about those sites and other things before you first came out to us ..... if you have lied about that what else have you lied about ???.
3rdly so many continue to visit the same/similar sites. Then there are the lengths so many will go to to hide their online activity ........ it sure as heck don't gve us room to believe what we hear from you, and so if your partners are having trouble believing what they hear, why should mr/mrs average believe any different.

Then there are the many threads of the type " .....do you dream of being with a man when dressed", ....HELLO and you wonder why society in general equate cding with bi/gay tendancies.

Those are just my thoughts and questions, just my 0.02

Beautiful! And so nicely put

[Sallee]

Looks like a duck, acts like a duck, sounds like a duck. What do you expect. It is the depression a guy feels when he sees a really nice lookng woman and then finds out she is a lesbian, But if she was dressed real butch you might assume she was a lesbian.
There are the other reasons also. Many gays hang around the same bars and clubs we hang at or is it the other way around.
I have gotten to the point I don't assume anything about anyones sexuality unless the tell me specifically they are attracted to him or her and even then who says it won't change given the proper chemistry..

[TxKimberly]

Because John Doe, Mr average person, does not realise there is a huge difference between gender and sex.
I could add some to that but I think it says it all.

Kim