Need a hug

[Felix]

Hi Pocs my friend well now I know and am glad I don't have to think about such things. I took religion and religious thought out of the equation ages ago and I'm so pleased cos at least now it's one less thing to do my head in and send me on guilt trips about. I'm not saying I disrespect anyone who has firm beliefs but i've guilt enough without adding religion and doctrine to the melting pot. It's much easier without. I have told a three of my pagan friends about how I perceive myself and they seem accepting so that's cool. Sorry if this has not been exactly what ya was after Hun. Please don't let it all do ya head in be happy xx Felix

[Siobhan Marie]

[SIZE="3"]hey Poc, there's not much that I can add to this because to be honest I really don't know where to start.

So what I am going to do is what I do best and say "come here Poc", take you into my arms and give you the cuddle that you need right now.

ya loads honey.

Anna x[/SIZE]

[battybattybats]

Hi, I don't normally peruse this section but I caught the title on the main page.



As to your concerns.. fears are by their nature informative and I can't advise you on what's right for you but I do think that no-one should go further on the path of transition than they feel completely comfortable with and ready for. With any momentous and irreversible decision it'd be dreadful to make a decision that could be later regreted.

I'm not religious (and currently reading Dawkins 'God Delusion') but I respect your beliefs. I wonder could god (assuming his/her/their existance) have allowed the possibility of SRS for a reason? Could he/she have intended you to go through it or to give you the choice to do so? Is it wrong to mess with anything? We shave or not, cut our hair, get piercings and tattoos... those are all messing with our natural bodies. We cultivate the land, we breed dogs and horses... we change the world and ourselves all the time. Is it ok to use surgery to remove a tumour that will kill us? Would we be defying Gods will by not dying of the tumour or, is it that he wants us to help ourselves?

Anyway, don't do anything you don't want to do. Only do things when you feel ready.

[John]

O.k.... I gota go cook dinner in a min, so I don't have time to read all the loooong responces, so forgive me if I'm just repeating what's already bean said.

I figure that if there was a directly anti-trans quote in any significant (original) religious texts, we'd have hurd them by now. Anyway, the scriptures where (in my oppinion) writen by people, not 'god', in whichever incarnation the context refers to.

I know what you mean about messing with nature. I folow a rather obscure branch of paganism, and it gave me a little trouble at first, but I figure, hay, I am as I was maid, and I was made transexual. (in other wordes, if the gods didn't want me to be transexual, they'de have given me a Y chromazone.

oh, and here's a hug

[Dasein9]

Heya, Poc The Brave! *strumpet blast!*

Good questions. The bits in the Bible have been covered. Keep in mind that those laws also allow you to sell your daughter into slavery and tell you to kill your neighbour if he's working on the sabbath.

It's not the particular laws, but the whole spiel. (That's a technical philosophical term there.) God loves. God is love. Any sentence that begins "God hates..." is an illogical sentence and is invalid. The Bible and other religious texts pretty much boil down to this: someone divine loves us and wants us to be happy and treat one another well. It's all about love and compassion. And that means you have to have love and compassion for yourself, as well as for everyone else.

God made us. Society and ways of classifying people, we made. It's right there in Genesis, if you want to take it literally -- Adam started naming things; that's classification. So gender, which is just another classification, like biped or mammal, is human-made. So if some human-made classification isn't working for you, then you should absolutely do what you need to do. YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT AND FAR MORE PRECIOUS THAN ANY RULE OF SOCIETY.

Now, as for the fears of surgery, maybe it's your mind trying to tell you something. Can you conceive of ever being at peace with your body, as a transman? If you can, it's worth the effort. If you find you can't, then surgery could be a kind of safety net.

Fear in the face of something so life-altering is normal and sane. Hesitation is a good idea. If you go through with surgery, or if you don't, at least you will know you really did your best on thinking it through, and are therefore less likely to regret any decisions.

[aethen]

Hi Poc,

Haven't kept up much with the boards lately, so this is late coming.

First, a story: I've known two people, unrelated, born with a congenital condition. Essentially, there was a microscopic seed in their chests, pretty much impossible to detect, which one day woke up and started growing out of control, to the point where in a few weeks they were larger than a fist, with no evidence they were going to stop growing. It's a very aggressive form of cancer. Doctors remove a tumor, and another grows from another "seed" somewhere else.

So my question is, if people are born with this, is it okay for a doctor to remove the cancer? Is it God's will that these people suffer and die? Living in America, I probably have a better idea (sadly, imho) than many others about what Fundamentalist Christians believe, and I can tell you that all but the most strict would say surgery is perfectly acceptable. Judaism frowns on altering the body in any way, but, living in New York, with the second highest concentration of Jewish people in the world, I can safely say that many Jews do not take that prohibition very seriously any more. Just like most Christians think medicine and surgery is okay.

Being trans may not be an immediate threat to a person's life, but it's certainly an indirect threat (one need only look at the suicide statistics to see that). It's also definitely a threat to your mental well being if you don't take whatever steps you, personally, feel are necessary to become the person you were meant to be.

Studies suggest that being trans is congenital, resulting from the environment in the womb. Hare lips and cleft palates are also congenital. I don't think any reasonable person would say it's immoral to fix those. The only difference is that the symptoms of being trans tend to be viewed as mental, since the physical body appears to be "normal" to an outsider.

I wonder if we, as a race, were telepathic, would that would remain the case. If people met, interacted, got to know each other without setting eyes on each other at first, would someone meeting you for the first time physically, having only met you emotionally and intellectually before that, think "Wow, his body is all wrong" or "Her mind is all wrong". I would bet on the former.

Wow... when I get going I really go! So my point is: this isn't vanity. This isn't a nose job, or a face lift. If your brain keeps telling you that your body is broken, then how is it wrong to fix it?

Just a few (a lot?) thoughts,

Aethen

[aethen]

2) I am absolutely terrified of surgery, I'm scared I will die because of the anaesthetic or some complication in surgery. Or not be able to cope with feeling poorly after surgery.
Also, the thought of being artificially put to sleep... and out of control... is horrible.

There are two ways to look at that. One, it's your subconscious trying to keep you from transitioning for some reason. That's a possibility.

That being said, fear of surgery is such a common thing, I don't think you need to look for an underlying reason for it. Just like if you hated flying, and needed to fly to have your surgery done, would that be in indication of not being ready to transition, or simply that you fit alongside the billions of others who hate to fly?

When the time comes, you'll sit down with your surgeon and anesthesiologist and work through your questions and concerns. I'm sure that, eventually, not transitioning become a far scarier, and riskier, proposition than surgery.

~Aethen, again.

[bi_weird]

Oh Poc, here's my two cents on surgery. I had my appendix out a couple of years ago, and it was laughably easy. I was in the hospital less than twenty four hours and recovered amazingly quickly. When I first heard I needed surgery it was like O.O. I was eighteen and they're gonna cut me open?!?! But the anestesia (how do you spell that?!) was like "Whoa tingly....and now I'm awake after the surgery", which left little time to be afraid. The most annoying thing other than a bit of dry heaving was having a dry mouth all night and being allowed only ice chips.
I know that most surgeries are more invasive than an appendectomy, but the thing is that you're young so you're going to recover faster than your parents, and it's actually not as scary as it seems. I'm glad that I had no choice and little warning on that surgery, because now I'm not nearly so scared of the idea. I found it to be like any big step in that after it was over it seemed so much simpler than before it happened.

[Samantha Lough]

Poc I think Everett said it all and I agree with him 100% but here is a Hug

[pocoyo]

I read through all these answers again the other day.

Thank you so much everyone. I am so grateful.

You make excellent, intelligent, interesting points.

I have thought of some of them myself (probably not the "intelligent" ones though ha ha! ) but it's nice to hear other people say them.

I do want to reply to each of you individually but I think that would take me all day! And I have to do some work right now hehe. (Wow.. so many people replied... and with such long and thoughtful answers... thank you!)

So for now... please know that I really appreciate your comments.

Thank you (((huggg)))

[Kate Simmons]

Forget the hug, I'm giving you a birthday kiss, you cute little fellow, you. Yeah I know it's my birthday but that's why I get the privelage. Love you being here and don't ever leave you cutie patooty.

[pocoyo]

Awwwwwwwwww.
Yay! I got a kiss off Salandra!!
Happy Birthday lovely lady !

[Tree GG]

Sorry I'm late. Just saw the thread - I love a good philosophical debate!

Surgery is scary - doctors are just humans that "practice" medicine. There are no guarantees. But there's no guarantee you won't be hit by a bus today which is totally random. At least with surgery you're attempting to achieve a goal, it has purpose. In the big picture, so does the bus, but that's not important here.

Losing yourself.....I find that hard to imagine from you Poc. People cannot be lost, only misplaced. As long as you give yourself as much importance as you give to everyone else, you'll do great! Remember that inside every old person is a young person wondering WTF happened! Silly, but the meaning is very appropriate. Who you are is self-proclaimed. You run into trouble when you let outside influences (other people) override your own good sense. Listen to yourself - I'll bet you're usually right.

Religion is a man-made construct. Even the Bible has gone thru numerous editings and translations - who knows what subtle meanings were lost. Spirituality lives in your soul. I was raised Christian but it really never did touch me like the thoughts of Budhism or Native American Spirituality doctrines do. God may be a single being or energy source, but it set into motion a wonderful ecosystem where everything works perfectly when you don't try to define success too rigidly. The cycle of life is immense and minute at the same time. A bacteria's life cycle vs that of a star. As long as there is movement, regeneration and continuance - God's plan is fullfilled. IMO

I think I've said this before, and if so, I apologize for the duplication. Clear your mind & heart. Imagine the 2 options. #1 you stay as you were born. Express your TGness in alternative ways. OR #2 You proceed with the surgery and express your TGness in a more permanent way. Both options have risks, benefits and drawbacks. But which fills you with more positive emotions. Which gives you an overriding sense of calm and contentment?

Then you'll know what Poc's soul thinks.

[Lovely Rita]

Hi Pocoyo, I have read many of the posts on this thread and read all the good and encouraging support from your friends. I really do not think I can add much but just wanted to provide you with some of the insights that have helped me as a person who believes in God.

Firstly, I am convinced God loves me as I am. I have absolutely no doubt that he loves me as a cross dresser etc. Here is a wonderful scripture, written by Paul the apostle, from the New Testament that underscores that.

RO 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Knowing how much God loves me heals my soul and demolishes any doubt about it. It blows all that negative stuff to smithereens.

It was also very important to know that my God has both feminine and masculine qualities. The God I believe in created Tigers as well as lillies in the field. Masculine as well as feminine aspects are qualities of His/Her nature. This is the image I have of the God that I know.

Below is a scripture from the book of Genesis that illustrates this point.

GE 1:27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

This speaks to me that God's image is male and female. We all have those qualities as well, but in some of us there is a more dominant side.

This is my opinion.

GAL 3:26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Notice how Paul writes that we are all sons of God, and not predicating it on whether we are male or female. Son in the sense of heirs. He actually writes that for God there is no difference now.

I cannot see a person becoming who they trully are, as something that would put them out of the reach of God's Amazing Love.

These are just my two cents on the subject, oh and by the way

[Danielle1960]

God has put us here to learn, about him, about ourselves. Although all churches are well meaning and there doctrine vary a bit. I think it is important to realize you have a good understanding of the bible,and your decision will be thought out. Fasting, and praying when your at a point where you just don't care what the answer is might help too. In the NT, the statement of: (paraphrased) "that if you commitment is hot or cold it is tolerable but if your warm or in the middle it is unacceptable. " I feel this is an issue of God doesn't want us to remain passive in our day to day lives and not learn all that we can. If in the end if your decision is researched and you as sure as you can be then I think God will take that into account. If others wife children are involved you are a standard bearer for them and that is a delicate thing to handle. Of course any (I think) church might tell you otherwise, that it is an anomaly, or demonic related thoughts, but there organizations require the flock to comply with the rules they have set up in order to survive and be viable.
Not sure that helps, but I hope it does. For me I don't think I'll ever do an SRS but transition to that point? May be.
Hugs
Danielle