Humorous Excuses for buying Femme Items

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Humorous Excuses for buying Femme Items

While buying makeup a few days ago, at the self checkout I was remembering the good old days before self checkouts, existed, and some of the hilarious excuses I would give for buying femme items when I was younger.

Example- while buying pantyhose. My response to the cashier. “Oh I need these for physics class, yea for that science experiment when you put an egg in a box and drop it from the top of a building, these(pantyhose) are to act as cushioning to help prevent the egg from breaking."

What other humorous excuses has anyone used in the past when buying femme items while in drab mode. Jocelyn

[prettywithsideburns]

my dominatrix told me to.

[ArleneRaquel]

I do not have any humorous excuses that I have used when I have bought Femme items and checked out at the cashier. I never offer a reason, and I buy Femme while in drab about 50 % of the time. The great majority of my female purchases, however, are on the internet from Sears, VS, Frederick's Secrets in Lace, and NewPort News. & Trina - Sensational in Pantyhose.

[Kate Simmons]

When I bought nail polish remover, I used to tell them I used it to take the glaze off of plastic pipe before I glued it. No lie, really, I do use it for that.

[marie354]

I remember one time buying a teddy, asking if they could gift wrap it for my girlfriend. Another time when I was buying a dress, I told them about a girl that insisted I buy her a new dress every time she cane to spend the night. I've used that one many, many times.

When I bought nail polish remover, I used to tell them I used it to take the glaze off of plastic pipe before I glued it. No lie, really, I do use it for that.

Interesting Sal, Does that work better then pure acetone?

[Jodi]

As one who worked the floor at both New York & Co and The Limited, I can say that you may use any humorous excuse you want to use, but you are not fooling any experienced SA. To understand this, you have to be on the SA side of the coin. You might fool an 18 year old who has been on the job for two day, but the experienced SA's find it humorous when a lame excuse is used. SA's are there to assist and sell. If you have the money, they will sell you the entire store.

It is best to be honest and tell them that the purchase is for you. This works the best when you are looking for something specific and the SA approaches to help you. If you are buying a makeup item or pantyhose in a store. There is no need to give any excuse when at the register. Just smile and buy it.

When shopping for clothing or shoes, take your time, and let the SA assist you. That is what they get paid to do. Forget the excuses.

Jodi

[rose382832]

funniest time in a store , i went in to buy a dress for my wife as a xmas pressent and the girl that was helping me asked me if i was sure it would fit me? i told her that there was no way it would but was sure it would fit my wife. she just smiled and nodded her head.( i wear a size 8 my wife wears a size 18, the dress was a size 18.) you would think that an experienced sa could tell the diff.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Just thought of some other excuses I used in my early days, before I knew about cross dressing, and I thought I was the only that did this.

1. Pantyhose- Yea I need these so I can make a stocking cap for my hair so I can get waves in my hair.

2. Pantyhose- I need these for football, so I can stay warm.

3. Nail Polish- I make model airplanes as a hobby I can't find this color in paints at the local hobby store.

I know the sales associate could see right through my excuses, being that why would I need about 6 pairs and different colors, and brands. Jocelyn

[trannie T]

I look them in the eye and tell them the item is for me. I usually get a positive reaction, the sales associates appreciate the honesty.

[Daintre]

When I was younger I had it all worked out, I went into a ladies store and talked to a SA, told her I needed some nylon panties, she asked if they were for me, I blushed, said yes and told her That I was allergic to cotton and got a rash from cotton shorts....She was very professional, but I thought at the time that the panties I was buying sure had a lot of lace on them.

[DianaGomez]

When I was younger I had it all worked out, I went into a ladies store and talked to a SA, told her I needed some nylon panties, she asked if they were for me, I blushed, said yes and told her That I was allergic to cotton and got a rash from cotton shorts....She was very professional, but I thought at the time that the panties I was buying sure had a lot of lace on them.

Oh dear, where to start? For my Grandmother, mother, sister, wife etc etc. For a costume party, "dont you think I'll make a woooonderful tv???" etc etc etc.

[Tanya83]

First time I bought a pair of heels...Told the cashier they were for a bachelor party prank!

[Joy Carter]

I won't tell you all the lame excuses I used. Now I just buy what I want and be done with it. I bought a slip recently and the clerk told me "you have one lucky girl who will be getting this." I replyed "yes she is."
Still can't bring myself to buy bras. What's up with that one ?

[Hermione Simpson]

when buying outer wear, i just tell the SA that it's for a female relatives birthday, but my most humorous excuse is when i brought some tights i said i needed them to make a fanbelt for my car, but the thing is i don't drive

[Echo Logical]

Went to a payless shoes to buy my first pair of heels. Was a bit embarrassed and asked the SA for help and advice. Told her that I had lost a bet with my wife and she decided I needed to walk a mile in her shoes.

[OC-crossdresser]

Went to a payless shoes to buy my first pair of heels. Was a bit embarrassed and asked the SA for help and advice. Told her that I had lost a bet with my wife and she decided I needed to walk a mile in her shoes.

I LIKE THIS ONE!

i used to say the normal its for my gf LOL

BUT one time i was at a VS with dad and his GF well she dad picked up a pair of panties and the SA said "cute is that for you sir" i LMAO (in my mind) cuz his son was the crossdresser he would NEVER lol...still funny...i wish she would of asked me LOL

[Jamie001]

There is no reason to make-up excuses. Whenever I buy pantyhose or other items, I never make excuses. The sales girls at Nordstrom are very helpful when it comes to selecting pantyhose. Just talk to the sales clerks and be yourself. If you act like a scared bunny, they will think that you are strange. It is very important to accept yourself and not make excuses for your behavior. I beleive that is the first step to true freedom and as Lovely Rita would say "not being confined to the box".

Jamie

[Sheri 4242]

my dominatrix told me to.

Yep -- that's a really good one!!! I love the shock value sometimes, and that one certainly fills that bill!!! I've used it a few times and love to observe the reactions!!!

Other times that I use "shock value" is when the SA sets it up. I had picked out a skirt in The Gap once, and a SA came up and said I had good taste and could she help me find my wife some tops to go with it. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "what makes you think this is for my wife, why can't it be for me?!!!" Well, after she regained her composure she said, well, may I help you find some nice tops for you to go with your pretty skirt. I said yes and it was a great shopping experience!!! (Seriously, this was one of my best ever shopping expeiences!!!)

I've always looked at it like this -- if you're giving excuses, often they are going to seem very transparent b/c if you were buying for your wife, why would you be giving excuses. The SA's know (like Jodi said, above)!!! ((( You should have seen the look on the face of an SA at Victoria's Secret a few weeks ago. I took several bras to the counter and the girl asks if I want/need a gift receipt. I say no thank you. She proceeds to explain that with a gift receipt, my wife can bring them back and exchange them without the actual receipt. Well, I ws in one of those moods, so I just looked at her and said, my wife buys her own bras, and I buy my own -- these are for me and I know my size!!!! She turned as red as red could be!!!! )))

Another line I like to use that usually shuts things down really fast is as follows: SA says, with a slight smirk, hey, that skirt will look good on you, hehehe! To which you say, I certainly hope so, or I agree 100%!!! Or, ask a 'em a question: do you think this color suits me???

The bottom line: they know; most really don't care -- they see it all the time; some actually really like it --- so HAVE FUN & SHOP TILL YOU DROP!!!

[karynspanties]

I never felt nor do I feel the need to explain anything to a cashier or anyone else. What is the big deal? Find what you want and take it to the register and pay for it! Who flippin' cares........Why is everyone so concerned about what poeple think when purchasing femme items? They don't care...they just want the work day to be over and could care less about you or what your buying.

[Raychel]

I don't generally buy fem items alone. Usually my wife is shopping with me. But the last time that I actually did. It was a nice black dress. I was standing at the cashier sweating bullets that would take down an M1 tank. Just trying to think up something to say if needed. The cashier rung up the items, carefully folded the dress and put it in the bag. Then took my money and said "Have a nice day" end of story.

Moral to the story, They don't care what you are buying. They are doing their job, just trying to get to the end of the week for that pewny paycheck that they get.

[MichelleSanders]

I bought nail polish once and used the excuse that it was the perfect color for the model airplane I was building. I couldn't think of any excuse when I returned a week later and bought an eyelash curler.

[lindsaycd75]

Ive always had an excuse ready if any one said anything, but I have never used it. I just find my stuff pay and leave.

[Annesah]

Experienced SAs' know for shure. A good one can "size you up" at a glance and match you to what you buy. Anyway, as someone mentioned earlier, some SAs' actually enjoy helping you. A bit different on a boring day. BTW that goes for bras too. I don't think I'm fooling anyone when a buy a 36A!

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]When I bought my first pair of shoes by myself, I told the SA at Payless that they were for me and that I was going to a Drag Party, she didn't even bat an eyelash, just showed me where the 12's were and said if there was anything she could do to help just let her know. While I was deciding which pair to purchase she came back and checked on me, and said the ones I chose would look really qute on me.
Another time at VS I was actually there to purchase a Bra for my wife, when the SA asked if she could help me I told her what size I needed for my wife and the style and color, she got it for me then asked if there was anything else that "I" would like, and I said Oh I don't think you have my size here. She just smiled real big and said, "I'm sure I kind find something that would fit you", and then she smiled again and winked at me.[/SIZE]

[JoAnnDallas]

I remember years ago, in electronics, we used to use a substance that would lock a control so that it could not accidently move from it;s setting. This substance was very similar to nail polish. Well one day we ran out and one of the lady assemblers suggested we try nail polish and supplied hers. It worked so I went down to the local drug store and bought 6 bottles of bright Red Nail Polish. I remember getting a quizly look from the checker and I told her it was for our electronic work. Guess she bought the explination, even if I did keep one bottle for myself. LOL BTW, the nail polish was cheaper that the stuff we bought from the electronic store.