Tranny Site's.... UK/US......????

[mand]

Ok this is my first thread for this forum so please be gentle with me.


It's just a little post about obeservations I have noticed in the attitudes towards being Transgendered in the British community and in the USA.

To be Honest I really dont know why so many girls from the US bother with the British sites.
The attitude on the US sites seems much more open and relaxed, there doesn't appear to be that direct I'm better than you attitude that I keep finding on the British sites.

To be truthfull I've really quite had enough of it on the home sites, there is so much snobbery and back stabbing it's getting to be more trouble than it's worth.
Recently I was suspended off the Roses site for threating someone, ok I can't deny that I did make the threats and they were nasty ones.
I have had 6 months constant sniping and verbal abuse of the character and I finally snapped and lost my temper. I was wrong, but I was at the end of my patence with the person.
However because the other person is a favourite with some on the site I was the one who got chucked out so to speak, no chance to defend myself or anything like that, I was kicked off because one person said so.

So before any US girls vist British sites, just be warned the British system of fair play is a myth, and a few of the UK girls are I fear quite anti American.
It is also mtyh that UK trannies are tollerant and execepting, some are only tollerant and excepting of themselves and have little or no time for anyone else.

Oh dear I hope this isn't too much for my first thread?

love mand xxx

[alba68]

I have never visited the British sites and was going to do a search to find some. I find it quite surprising that they can be like you described. Surely not all of them are that bad. The UK girls on here are wonderful and very friendly (as is everyone). Maybe it's just a case of a few bad apples spoiling it for the rest of them. I can understand your anger, to be 'picked on' for so long it's no wonder you snapped. I would have flipped sooner lol. If you wanna chat then please pm me or find me on MSN.

[Tristen Cox]

This I have heard from others but to actually hear you say that makes it more official. (see why I just lurk at Roses?) As far as you getting 'chucked out' so to speak, I think that's a crap thing to do however I do understand how that kind of thing can happen. I've been told things are more cliquish over on the east side of the pond.

There's about a third part of this forum for every culture, 1/3 from American 1/3 from the UK, and 1/3 from Australia. Also a few from outside of those places. It's diversity that makes us what we are. I personally like this place the best because of the sisterly feel to things that we have created. Here you get a fair day in court. You get the chance to prove yourself innocent or guilty. There is no more bashing allowed here. We had that awhile ago and that's one of the reason's I'm a moderator here now. I don't judge people without hearing them out. I remain silent until proof either way is presented and will step in when it's necessary to end certain problems 'before' they get started.

I hope we can make you feel alot more welcome and part of the entire group here. No cliques, no snobs, just a bunch of girls doing what we do best: crossdressing and loving it! If for some(any) reason you have any problems here just let me know. Stick around, I think you'll like it here.

And I still love that picture of you

*hugs*
Tristen

PS. Julie you can leave this one here for awhile, might be a good discussion.

[Julie York]

Hi Mand,
I visit both sites but very rarely post at Roses. There doesn't seem to be the same feel as here. I think maybe the same folk have been chatting with each other too long and so it feels a bit exclusive to a newcomer. But it has always been friendly to me anyway. It just isn't as diverse in it's spectrum of what is a cross dresser. Maybe? I think the nice thing about this forum is that we rarely take ourselves too seriously and are aware that there is quite a large chunk of "slightly ridiculous" in what we are all doing.

Anyway, glad to have you with us.

[mand]

This I have heard from others but to actually hear you say that makes it more official. (see why I just lurk at Roses?) As far as you getting 'chucked out' so to speak, I think that's a crap thing to do however I do understand how that kind of thing can happen. I've been told things are more cliquish over on the east side of the pond.

There's about a third part of this forum for every culture, 1/3 from American 1/3 from the UK, and 1/3 from Australia. Also a few from outside of those places. It's diversity that makes us what we are. I personally like this place the best because of the sisterly feel to things that we have created. Here you get a fair day in court. You get the chance to prove yourself innocent or guilty. There is no more bashing allowed here. We had that awhile ago and that's one of the reason's I'm a moderator here now. I don't judge people without hearing them out. I remain silent until proof either way is presented and will step in when it's necessary to end certain problems 'before' they get started.

I hope we can make you feel alot more welcome and part of the entire group here. No cliques, no snobs, just a bunch of girls doing what we do best: crossdressing and loving it! If for some(any) reason you have any problems here just let me know. Stick around, I think you'll like it here.

And I still love that picture of you

*hugs*
Tristen

PS. Julie you can leave this one here for awhile, might be a good discussion.

Thankyou Tristen, I hope I don't cause any trouble with this thread.

Please don't get me wrong there are alot of very nice girls on the UK sites, it's just that there does seem to be the problem of British snobbery as well.

To be honest what has really upset me about how I was treated on Roses, was denial to my private messages, which contain Telephone numbers of some of the girls I class as freinds.

Never mind, it really is good to be here, Oh and thankyou for you're lovely comments Tristen.

love mand xxx

Thankyou All.................

[Julie]

Mand I have to agree with you about the attitude on some of the UK sites and how off putting it can be especially to those who are looking for reassurance and support.

I registered at Rose's on the 11th May 2004 but did not make my first post there until the 4th October 2004, this was quite simply because what I was reading didn't make me feel as if I was welcome there. It appeared to me there were little cliques already established and my input would not be welcomed, off course I realise it was down to my shyness and the combination of both things kept me from hitting that submit button.

Thankfully on the 25th August 2004 I found this site and was straight away taken by how relaxed everything seemed to be, I registered here straight away and had made my first post within hours and ever since have felt a part of this place. It was about 7 weeks after registering here that I felt confident enough to make my first post over at Rose's.

I'd also like to add Mand that it was your posts at Rose's that I found most thought provoking and that grabbed my attention.

JJ

ps. OK Tristen I will

[Amelie]

Mand,,So this was you at Roses that caused all the fuss. I am not part of any clique so no one told me who it was.

I do agree with you that the other site has it's cliques. This happens in clubs, so i guess it happens on forums as well. I know what you mean that all the people at the other forum jumped to the other cds defense. Some even came to her defense without even reading the offending thread. They didn't even have all the facts and yet they had already made their minds up.
I didn't respond to those posts because, I knew nothing about them, as some of the others should have kept quite as well.
I know that some are anti-US at Roses. But I can't take it very seriously, the UK is a mirror of the US, we do all the same things together. The UK has had it's share of pilaging other nations in their history, so I have to laugh when they complain about the US doing bad things around the world.
This forum in the past had it's share of un-fairness. One member would post a racy photo and every one would love the photo. Then when another member posted a similar photo, the same members would all gang up on this member saying the photo is in bad taste. This doesn't happen now but in the past there were clique type moments.
I am glad you like it here, Mand. I am glad you came here, I always enjoy reading your posts here as well as at Roses. I hope you stay a while.
Love Amelie

PS-I may not have the attitude, but I am better than you. Lol

[Jeanette H]

I've been at Rose's for about two and a half years now and was around on the day in question, and I have to say that the blame wasn't all on Mand's side. If I'd been a moderator I would have stepped in earlier and told both girls to let it go.

[mand]

Thanks girls.......

Can I just add before someone jumps in and starts saying yes mand but you did wrong and made some very nasty threats. I know I did.
However it did take 6 months of snide remarks and some out right insults before I finally did snap and lose it big time, I was pushed by one person too far.
I did once complain of the persons attitude and was told ,"Oh just ignore her thats her way".

Also can I just say that also alot of the girls on the UK sites all say quite simaliar things to me in their pm's, that is they found the sites very unfreindly to new members and also found it difficult to begin posting on them due to the attitudes of the more esthablished members.

love mand xxx

[mand]

I've been at Rose's for about two and a half years now and was around on the day in question, and I have to say that the blame wasn't all on Mand's side. If I'd been a moderator I would have stepped in earlier and told both girls to let it go.

Hello Jeanette, to be honest love I probably should have just ignored her, but I was at the end of my patence with her.
It's a case of the heirarchy at roses I think.


love mand xxx

[DonnaT]

I was attacked on Rose's soon after I started, by R.C. She has too much male ego remaining even during her transition. I straightened her out through PMs though and she hasn't been nasty since.

[MonaSmith]

Hiya Mand,

Well, I post on both, but have been here longer. This is the first forum that I ever posted on, so it is my spiritual home, but I am making (admittedly) slow headway into Rose's and have met and made friends with a few amazing people that have changed my view on myself and my CDing for the better. I will say that Rose's is initially less welcoming than here, but it does offer some things that this forum doesn't to a UK girl. Both of the forums are good in their own ways so I am happy to be on both of them.

I think that all forums which have large groups of regular posters will have cliques, this forum is no exception, and have we all forgotten the 'unpleasentness' of a few months ago? That wasn't really anybody's finest hour, if we are honest with ourselves (with a few exceptions). It is natural to make friends and want to talk to those friends and share things with them. We as humans like to group together with like minded people, it's what has got us this far up the evolutionary ladder after all.

If we all have the good sense to temper our posts, or not post at all, on a thread that we have no useful input on (unless it is to take the piss in a caring, loving way, of course. coughJulieYorkcough!! ) then we should all get alone just fine.

I'm glad that you are happy here Mand,

Speak to you soon,

Mona xx.

[Fiona K]

I tend to agree with Mona,

I only recently joined Roses and have made a few posts there, not as many as here- though for many reasons my posting rates have dropped on both sites. The cliques and "gangs" seem to appear wherever groups of relatively like minded individuals get together, suddenly someone will take a comment in a negative manner, which is quite easy as we're not talking face to face, and all spirals out of control

I like both places, this is my "home" too though and feel quite protective, even if am not around as much as I'd like.

Don't be too quick to judge the anti-Americanism Mand, you should have seen this place at the beginning of November, there was no need for us outsiders to get in the way of the battle between the two main parties stateside!!

Fiona
xx

[mand]

Hello Mona, now can I say this without appearing vindictive, spitefull, petty and so on .................. No affraid I can't I will only be happy when I have extracted full and painfull revenge on a certain little malignant puss infested clown, then I will be happy.


love mand xxx

I am a girl of my word.

[Amelie]

Hello Mona, now can I say this without appearing vindictive, spitefull, petty and so on .................. No affraid I can't I will only be happy when I have extracted full and painfull revenge on a certain little malignant puss infested clown, then I will be happy.


love mand xxx

I am a girl of my word.

Meeeoooww, I'm liking you more and more each day.
Amelie

[mand]

Meeeoooww, I'm liking you more and more each day.
Amelie

Oh Amelie, tell you what love it may not be the most ladylike but revenge is my most favourite emotion.

lots of love mand xxx

[MonaSmith]

Hello Mona, now can I say this without appearing vindictive, spitefull, petty and so on .................. No affraid I can't I will only be happy when I have extracted full and painfull revenge on a certain little malignant puss infested clown, then I will be happy.


love mand xxx

I am a girl of my word.

You go ahead and unload Mand, we won't tell anyone.

Mona xx

[Holly]

Mand,

I've never been a part of Roses and I wasn't here for the November event refered to. All I can do is relate my personal experience and observations here at CD dot com. From day one I have felt welcomed and accepted for who I am and not for what others thought I was or should be. I don't feel as if I have been judged and have felt safe in speaking my mind, sharing my true feelings about anything. That's not to say we have not had our little squabbles from time to time... families do that. But heaven help ANYONE that attacks a sister here.

Mand, I'm glad you're here. It's hard enough for girls like us to cope with the biases and negetivity society places upon us. We need a place where we can gather safely and without fear to openly and honestly talk about the things, anything, that is important to us. I do hope that you can put the hurt you have suffered in the past behind you. We're here to help in any way that we can.

[Priscilla1018]

Hello Mona, now can I say this without appearing vindictive, spitefull, petty and so on .................. No affraid I can't I will only be happy when I have extracted full and painfull revenge on a certain little malignant puss infested clown, then I will be happy.


love mand xxx

I am a girl of my word.

Hi Mand,

There is an old Sicilian proverb."Revenge is a dish best served cold". I try to be a good person most of the time,but there is a side of me that believes in revenge.However,only when the deed done to me truly warrents it,and then the revenge must be appropriate.
I am very glad you found this site.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[mand]

Mand,

I've never been a part of Roses and I wasn't here for the November event refered to. All I can do is relate my personal experience and observations here at CD dot com. From day one I have felt welcomed and accepted for who I am and not for what others thought I was or should be. I don't feel as if I have been judged and have felt safe in speaking my mind, sharing my true feelings about anything. That's not to say we have not had our little squabbles from time to time... families do that. But heaven help ANYONE that attacks a sister here.

Mand, I'm glad you're here. It's hard enough for girls like us to cope with the biases and negetivity society places upon us. We need a place where we can gather safely and without fear to openly and honestly talk about the things, anything, that is important to us. I do hope that you can put the hurt you have suffered in the past behind you. We're here to help in any way that we can.

Thankyou so much Holly, what a lovely post, Thankyou.
Tell you what though Holly love, I wouldnt worry about me to much, I really am as tough as old boot leather, it takes a lot to get me down love, honest.

Can I just say Holly it really truely is good to be here.

all my love mand xxx

[Anita]

Hi Mand Personally I haver never heard of or been on Roses but do have experience of other sites and have suffered the "closed shop" attitude Been told I was somebody else every time I logged on. Abused Questioned about anything and everything plus threatened So I told them to stick their site with a few more adjectives and have never ben back
Why? Cos when you have found the best (here) sod the rest
Enjoy being here The girls are the best and as long as you join in Do not abuse anybody you will enjoy it immmensely I do
love Anita uk girl not that it matterd where I live this site is truly world wide
xxx

[Wendy me]

i kinda like it here but also joined roses let who ever do as thay may. some feel that i talk too mutch.. oh well i am me and just am who i am .i stopped trying to fit in years a go now i am mutch more happer and to me to be able to look at myselfe and say i am a happy person is like a lot more than the people that want to cause trouble can say
i try and sometime it takes a lot to do but not to hold on to bad feelings just wish outhers that do would put half the effort into understanding outhers .........

[mand]

Hi Mand,

There is an old Sicilian proverb."Revenge is a dish best served cold". I try to be a good person most of the time,but there is a side of me that believes in revenge.However,only when the deed done to me truly warrents it,and then the revenge must be appropriate.
I am very glad you found this site.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

Thankyou Priscilla, sounds good to me girl.

If you were here I'd give you a great big hug for that, lots of love mand xxx

[Wendy me]

Hi Mand,

There is an old Sicilian proverb."Revenge is a dish best served cold". I try to be a good person most of the time,but there is a side of me that believes in revenge.However,only when the deed done to me truly warrents it,and then the revenge must be appropriate.
I am very glad you found this site.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

see in my past thay were vendatters any time any palce and thay were for real .......now i put that all behinde me but if some one wronged family then
well you never forget how but lifes a lot better if you don't have to............

[Priscilla1018]

see in my past thay were vendatters any time any palce and thay were for real .......now i put that all behinde me but if some one wronged family then
well you never forget how but lifes a lot better if you don't have to............

Hi Wendy,
I agree in part; I try to leave the violence behind,buried so deep that it will not resurface. Howerver, if anyone tried to hurt my family, I would show no mercy.With some of the training in my past, I could release the animal very easily. But ,I agree, life is much better if I do'nt have to. These thought bring up old memories that are better not to think about.

Love and Hugs Sister,
Priscilla